Category Archives: Faith

The Mother’s Day Card

Photo by Gladys Chia via create.northridgepublishing.com

Mother’s Day is this Sunday.  It’s a time to reflect on the precious mothers we have in our lives.  When I was in my early twenties, Mother’s Day was approaching and it gave me a huge pit in my stomach.  A day I once loved to celebrate became one of the most dreaded days of the year. My mom died when I was 16 from breast cancer. After that, holidays became extremely hard to celebrate – namely her birthday, Mother’s Day and Christmas.

Every May, I took a few steps back in my life.  As hard as I was trying to move forward, this day reminded me of all I had lost. It was overwhelming. I was thankful for the husband God brought in my life, and for the blessings He had given me (like the opportunity to go to college, good health, etc.), but three times a year I felt the enormity of all I had lost and this day was a big one for me.

Adding to my pain, watching the world of mothers and daughters continue was more than I could bear.  The sappy commercials, the flower bouquets in grocery stores, end caps filled with chocolate displays in the drug store – the reminder of what I no longer had was everywhere!  It crushed me under a weight of sadness so strong I could barely lift my head and function.

I was alone in my journey through this desert.  My husband is a wonderful man, but he has never walked this road and, thus, can only empathize from the outside looking in.  My friends back then had mothers who were either healthy or had been a survivor of cancer.  I felt as if no one could relate to the long, dark, lonely journey of living without my mom.

I couldn’t bring myself to visit her grave just yet.  It was too much.  I know that is not where she is-as she is in heaven with Jesus planning parties and laughing with friends and loved ones like she loved to do.  However, as a symbol of respect, I wanted to visit her grave, yet couldn’t find the strength to do so.

As Mother’s Day approached this particular year, I felt suffocated by grief. I was angry at all the other young and older women in this country who were about to celebrate their moms, and I had nothing and no one to celebrate.  I felt guilty for feeling angry.  I was angry for guilty for feeling angry.  I was a mess.

One late afternoon, I finished up my classes at college and was on my way home when something extraordinary happened.  (It had been years since Mom died, and I had endured many holidays at that point-mostly in a stunned blur.)

God spoke to me and said, Why not?

Why not…what, God? I asked as the bright Florida sun blinded my windshield on the long stretch of road leading home.

You feel left out of Mother’s Day.  Why not go ahead and do it, He replied.

Do what? I asked, confused.

What you were just thinking about, He answered.

You know, God shows up sometimes at the most unexpected times.  He knows our thoughts, reads our minds, and completely understands our hearts with its desires, motives, hurts, and blessings.  He knows the total us, and this particular day He showed up right in the middle of a really sad moment.

As I was driving, I passed a Hallmark card store.  Okay, I love cards.  I love to give them and I love to receive them.  Nothing, nothing brightens my day like walking to the mailbox and finding a card for me or a handwritten note from a friend or family just letting me know I was on their mind.  There is something about being remembered that is salve to a soul.

I even have a strange idiosyncrasy that I’ve never told anyone, but will confess it here today.  When I shop for a card for someone, I spend a lot of time going through the entire selection.  Once I’ve found the perfect one, I pick it from the back of the stack.  To me, that card was made just for me to give a certain someone-no one else.  Therefore, I choose the last card in the pile because no one has probably touched it, handled it, bent the edges, or smeared sticky fingers on it.  It’s most likely in the best shape.  So that’s the one I take.  Weird, huh?

Anyway, because I love buying cards for people, not having a mom here to buy one for breaks my heart to pieces.  Throughout my childhood, I made her homemade cards-and she kept them all.  I wrote her poetry, short stories and cards all the time.  I tucked little love notes in her napkin at dinner when I set the table; surprised her with a note taped to her dresser mirror; and loved to make cards for her out of construction paper, markers and glue.  She loved receiving them and left ones for me to discover around the house as well.  It was our thing.

Because it was our special thing, not having a reason to buy her a Mother’s Day card nearly crushed my soul to death.  For years, I honored my grandmother and mother-in-law on this day, but kept my grief, pain and sadness locked far away where no one could see.

God knew this.

He showed up in His gentle, quiet way and knew I had passed, yet again, another Hallmark store.

In our conversation, He nudged me to stop and go into the store.  It was an odd moment.  A revelation of sorts.

Why can’t I buy her one? I asked myself.  Is there a law against it?  No.  Is it morally wrong? No.  It is hurting anyone? No. Why can’t I buy her one just because?

I could not think of a reason not to, but could think of a million reasons why I should.  I pulled into the parking lot and felt excitement build in my chest.  My hands shook with adrenaline.  I was, once again, going to be a part of this holiday that I loved, and get to buy my mom a Mother’s Day card.

The bells chimed against the glass door as I entered, and the sales clerk asked if I needed any help.  No ma’am I didn’t.  I could hardly wait to get to the Mother’s Day card aisle.

It was a busy aisle with men, women and children perusing through the selection of mom cards.  It’s hard to describe, but I felt in that moment like a wrong had been righted.  Something that was taken from me ripped from me had been given back to me.  Something that I cherished every year had been stolen, and now it was recovered and returned to me.  It was the experience of buying my mom a Mother’s Day card.  It gave me a reason to stop life and simply think about all she had been to me, done for me, and how much she loved me-and I her.  It was moment to reflect on the good times, all she taught me about life, and the blessing she was to me.  It was a chance to say thank you, something I never got to do one last time.

Until that moment in the card store, I had no idea how much grief I carried with me every day of my life since she died.  The weight of sadness nearly buried me, and I didn’t realize it until that moment.

I picked out several good cards and sat down on the floor-right there among everyone else in the Mother’s Day card aisle.  I lost myself in experiencing pure joy getting be a part of an event I once thought as normal.  It was an extraordinary moment of healing for me.  I spread the cards out all over the floor, making people step over me and my mess.  I sat there for at least 30 mintues reading and re-reading them in search of the perfect card.

At long last, I found it.

I carefully put all of the other cards back in their places and proceeded to check out.  Typically, I put the card face down because (a) it makes scanning the bar code easier for the clerk, and (b) I don’t want anyone knowing what I am buy because it’s not their business (part of my weird card fetish, I know).  Standing at the counter, I handed her the card face up – on purpose – because I wanted the clerk to see that I was buying a Mother’s Day card for the first time in years.  I wanted the whole world to know!  The huge smile on my face probably gave it away.

The bells chimed against the glass door as I left the store.

Want to know something?  I never wrote in the card.  Nearly two decades later, the card sits untouched in a special place.  I have come to the conclusion that the joy of card shopping was enough to heal a deep wound in my heart. How does one write on a simple card a lifetime of gratitude; describing the benefit of every lesson she taught me; every thing she wound up being “right ” about; that every time I laugh at something I know she would also laugh at, I smile and think of her.  How does one write how much she is missed, loved, and appreciated?  Even if all of that could be written on a simple card, she is not here to receive it.

I am saving all of those words in my heart, like a child gathers wild flowers in her arms, and will share all of my “love notes” with her when I see her again in heaven.

That ordinary day, turned extraordinary, change my life.  God used this small act to heal a big part of my heart.  I, once again, got to be a part of something I desperately missed.

I still have the card.  However, God did something even more amazing.  My need to buy her a card  (a need I didn’t know I yearned for until He revealed it to me in the car) was fulfilled.  I’ve never bought her another one.  All is well.  But, God showed me that I can buy Mother’s Day cards for the special women in my life.  My mother-in-law, stepmother, sisters-in-law, and my special girlfriends.

Only God can be so creative as to give me this idea!  Now, every year, I get to go to the store and buy a ton of Mother’s Day cards.  I get to write and tell them how much they mean to me and what great mothers they are to their families.  It is one of the highlights of my year!   In fact, the sweet friend at church, our special widow friend, will receive flowers from us this year-along with my mother-in-law and stepmother.  I had a total blast ordering them for our special ladies.

Mother’s Day has once again become something I smile about.

Also, I hope it goes without saying, since I became a mother myself I relish in time with my husband and children on this day.  I love that they make it all about me and spoil me rotten with breakfast in bed, fresh-picked gardenias from the backyard, and a family walk (my very favorite thing to do on a holiday).  They surprise me with a corsage to where to church, just like I used to do for my grandmother and mom.  It’s a family tradition-one I am grateful to continue.  They shower me with love and affection, and my children now bring me homemade cards-oh the circle of life!  God abundantly blessed me with a loving family whose priority is to make me feel like a queen on this special day.

I have enjoyed many beautiful Mother’s Days since the special visit to the card store.  However, until that visit I wasn’t capable of finding joy in this day.  God healed something deep inside me.  He redeemed a devastated part of my heart.  He turned my circumstances around and gave me eyes to see the joy in every day that He has given me.  Only God can do that.

I still miss my mom terribly, but, I have a whole lot of love notes written on my heart that I look forward to sharing with her one day.  If you are mourning the loss of a loved one, ask God how He can help.  You might be surprised at His answer.

What’s the big deal about teaching children respect?

Exodus 20:12, Honor your father and your mother…

Scenario #1 – As I sat on the football field this weekend watching my youngest’s team play football, I noticed an interaction between another mother and son.  It was something I’ve seen happen many times.  Too many.

It’s halftime, and Mom notices her tween son might be thirsty, so she jumps up and begins walking toward her son with a bottle of Gatorade.  He meets her more than halfway and, in front of all of the other parents of both teams, he chastises her to stay off of the field.  She quickly submits to his request and retreats off of the field with subservient speed.

As she holds out the Gatorade and tells him she thought he might be thirsty, he snaps, Where’s my water.  I wanted water.

Oh, your dad is supposed to bring that but he isn’t here yet, she says smiling.

I wanted water, he demands.

Okay.  I’m sure he’ll be here soon.  Would you like some Gatorade for now? she asks, looking longingly at him.

Pfft, he said with obvious disapproval.  He snatched the bottle out of her hand and walked away.

Have fun! she called to him as she sheepishly smiled at the parents sitting nearby and took her seat.

I wanted to say to him, Go thank you mother.  You never said, please, or thanks for the Gatorade, or I appreciate it.  Nothing.  Zippo.  It was the same attitude of entitlement and disrespect that is so common no one bats an eye anymore.

Whose fault is it?  Parent or child?  My opinion is that it’s both – at least at this age.  What happened to a society where children honored their fathers and mothers?  Where bare-bones politeness was common courtesy.  Where parents received respect for the little and big things they did for their children.

Okay.  Pause.  I am not addressing abusive or neglectful parents. I am not talking about dysfunctional homes (though many are in some manner) or anything that needs professional help.  I’m talking about every day moments in life when who the person really is on the inside shows on the outside.

Scenario #2 – I was at the dentist office waiting for my child’s checkup to finish.  It’s a very kid-friendly place and has all kinds of things to do to keep little ones entertained while older siblings have their appointment.  A little girl, no older than four, quietly played with the office’s toys.  Mom and Dad watched nearby.  It was time to go back to see the older sibling, and so the dad asked his young daughter to pick up the toys she had taken out.  She just stood there and stared at him.  Then ignored him.  He repeated his request.  This time she said, No.  He asked her a third time, and she simply turned around and walked away with the mom and left Dad and the toys behind.

I was very curious how he would respond and held my breath as he stood there looking at the mess she had made.  I said (to him) to myself, Don’t do it.  Don’t do it.  Then…he did it.  With drooping shoulders, and donning not an ounce of dignity, he began picking up the toys for her.  He picked up every last toy, in front of a full room of women, and then disappeared into the hall to find his family.

My children learned something interesting in school.  In early America, children did not eat with their parents.  Not only that, they were not allowed to talk during dinner.  Not only that, they waited on their parents while the parents ate.  Not only that, the children stood and ate, they didn’t even get a seat when it was their turn.  This was our country once upon a time.

Now for me, that seems extreme.  On the contrary, my family loves our family dinners – something we make a priority in our home.  I’m not suggesting we take away our children’s seats and forbid them to speak, but how in the world did we get from there to here where kids sit at the proverbial head-of-the-table and parents ask their permission to speak?  This blog is far too short to answer that question.  Much research has gone into family roles & dynamics, American history and the changes it’s seen and how that affects the individual.  It’s a black hole of information, unfortunately, because although we clearly see patterns of a downward spiral in our society in regards to respect, manners, and courtesy, few seem to want to do anything about it!

Why do parents allow their children to captain the ship? Rule the roost? What good do they think will come from it?  Oh, I know.  They will gain their child’s respect and friendship.  Um.  Bad news…that philosophy won’t work.  And, shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Why do parents need their children’s approval on their job as a parent?

Who is the leader of the family?

Why are parents afraid to parent?

Why are they afraid of their children? (children who abuse their parents notwithstanding)

When did parents relinquish their power and surrender authority to their children?

How do they think this will ever help the child as an adult?  I have so many questions.

We are all born selfish.  It’s our human nature.  But, unless we are going to live in solitary confinement on a deserted island, we have to act as a society, and family is the cornerstone to any society.  It is the parent’s job to set boundaries and rules for their kids (and follow through on them).  But, kids who are at the age of accountability to accept the appropriate consequences of their behavior must answer for themselves.

When I look at families where the child has the parent wrapped around their little finger at age 7, 9, and 11, I think what fun that house will be when hormones rage in the teen years.  The battles parents and kids have now when they are young, battles where the parents ultimately give in to whatever the topic du jour is, will be more fierce, more intense and create more problems in the teen years than young parents can ever imagine.

Godly authority exercised by the parent, and godly respect given by the children, is how families were divinely designed.  The precious gift of mutual friendship comes later when the children are no longer children and are no longer under the authority of the parents.

Until then, it’s not an even playing field.  Children don’t have equal say, equal voice, in a matter.  It’s not their job because they aren’t qualified for the job as an adult at their ripe, young age.

Some reasons parents cave is because they are either: too tired, too frustrated, too weak, too afraid, have no parenting plan, don’t care, or have become stuck in an unhealthy pattern with their children like a fly stuck to flypaper.

One thing I remind myself of when we address respect in our home is this – how my child treats me now is how they will treat me when I am old.  In other words, how I allow my child to treat me now, is how they are naturally going to relationship with me when I am old and need their help.  It’s something to think about.

Kids who are allowed to say anything, do anything, to their parents will be adults who could care less about their aging parents’ needs.  After all, life is all about them, and that’s the way it’s always been for them…so why is the parent shocked decades later when the grown child shows no concern for them?

I have personally witnessed a boy hit his mother in the head when she said No to something he wanted.  She gave in.  What will happen when he is bigger and stronger than her and she says No again – and maybe means it this time?

The formula is simple: selfish child = selfish adult; demanding child = demanding adult; bossy, disrespectful child = bossy, disrespectful adult.  How will that fair for them in the workplace? In marriage?  In friendships when Mom no longer arranges the play dates?

What I see is parents want to skip the teaching, training, and tough love and jump right to the parent/adult child friendship.  This plan will fail.

Scenario #3 – My friend told me that once she, her kids and her adult sister were in a store in the checkout line.  My friend’s daughter (very young at the time) wanted something from the impulse aisle.  My friend said, No.  Her daughter proceeded to throw the biggest tantrum ever.  Resolving to not give in, my friend looked at her visiting sister and said, Can you handle it?  Her sister replied, Yep.  Well, okay, then, my friend said.  And they stood there ignoring the tantrum that had caught everyone’s attention. They were resolute, and guess what?  The daughter wasn’t permanently scarred!  Actually, she grew a little more as a person that day, and she is a very lovely young lady today.

Perhaps maintaining an image is why parents cave.  What will people think of me if my toddler screams their head off over me not buying this toy they want?  I can tell you what some are thinking, Been there.  Done that.  Stay strong.  I’d much rather see a little child throw an obnoxious fit over not getting a toy, then an obnoxious adult throwing a fit over anything!

If parents are hoping that some shift in respectful maturity will magically happen between childhood and adulthood without intentional training, they will be sorely disappointed.  Maturity eventually happens, most of the time, but that doesn’t guarantee a respectful adult.  Just look at the statistics in our country from crime to divorce to prescription drug use to alcohol abuse and so on.  Look at the television shows that are “supposed” to have a pulse on the heartbeat of America.  I’ve never seen so many disrespectful people on the small screen – from mouthy children on kids shows to R-rated reality adult shows.  Really?  This is a portrait of us?

Parenting, especially parenting in the early years, is like the game Risk.  There must be a strategy.  There must be intentional moves on the parent’s part.  There must be a goal to work towards.  There must be diligent work on the parent’s part.

No one said parenting was easy, and we need to put our big girl panties on and accept it.

Laying a foundation of who’s in charge and how things will role will pay off later.  I remember once on a bad day of behavior in our home, I looked my children in the eye and said, I’ll do the hard thing, every time, because it’s the right thing.  Even if that means Mom needs a time out first.  In the moment, it is extremely easy to take the quick way out and give in to the demands of kids.  It’s so understandable that Mom or Dad has had a long day and they are tired.  I completely empathize with being physically, mentally and emotionally drained.  But, losing small battles leads up to losing the war.  No, we don’t want to be at war with our children, but our carnal natures sure are.  It’s how we are wired.  One will win.  One will lose.  Which will it be?

Even the Apostle Paul, a full-grown adult, couldn’t understand it.  His words are some of the most confusing in the Bible…

Romans 7: 14-21

14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.

Whew.  If even he struggled with how to behave and what to do, a former flawless Pharisee and completely committed ambassador for Christ, then how confused must children be, who have much less life experience, to understand about how to live?

I love my children with all my heart.  And because of this, I love them enough to do the hard thing (i.e., calling them out every single time disrespect rears its ugly head – which is rare, by the way, because my husband and I have set the foundation mention above) in order to keep peace in our home and to set them up for success now and as they grow.  Teachers won’t tolerate rude students.  Employers won’t tolerate disrespectful employees.  In this economy there are ten people lined up waiting for that job!  In a marriage – well – just look at the divorce rates.  They speak for themselves.

Allowing disrespect by way of physical or verbal communication stunts children’s emotional growth. Eventually, if parents want their children to be employable and marriable, children have to learn respect – and this begins at home.

Teaching them this truth now will save them much heartache later.  It may also save their marriage, their job and their friendships.  And, it may give parents what they hope for one day – a healthy friendship with their adult child.  In moments of conflict, think long-term goals.  Parenting is not a sprint.  It’s a marathon.  A strong finish is possible.  Don’t give in or give up.  Your children are counting on you to show them the way – even if they don’t act like it or say it.  Run strong. Lead the way.

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

So glad to cross the finish line of this week’s amazing race!  How about you?

Our family accomplished some tough goals this week and are stronger for it. Praise God!  Now we’re ready to simply enjoy the Sabbath – the day of rest blessed by God.

Here is Scripture to help all of us embrace the fullness of what we at RealDeepStuff like to call “Selah Day,”

Psalm 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God…

Can’t wait to meet back here tomorrow.  Now go rest! 🙂

~ Kristi

Torn in two

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. ~ Micah 6:8

I was picking up the house recently when something stopped me dead in my tracks.  Literally, I took one step forward and froze.  Looking down at our coffee table, I saw some mailers that have sat for over a week.  Each one was complimentary and was delivered to my home – ironically arriving within a day of each other.  When they arrived, I placed them on my coffee table like I do with current mailers and never gave it another thought.

This time, my heart skipped a beat as I gazed, with fresh eyes, at the dichotomy of these things. See for yourself…

Do you see what I see?  Contradiction.  Two worlds clashing.

Both of those reflect me, and I am frustrated!  On one hand, my heart is passionate for all people and want no one to suffer.  I want everyone to know the love of Jesus and have all of their needs met; for everyone to realize their goals and dreams; and for peace and provisions worldwide.

On the other hand, I get stuck in what I know as normal.  I like Restoration Hardware (though I can’t afford most of what they sell).  I like their style, ideas, and clean lines.  It’s not just Restoration Hardware, but this is the mailer that happened to be sent at the same time as PrayerPoint.  I’m not picking on it, but I am confused with where it all stands with me.

I think I’ve spent my life like most people in America.  I have not been blind to the world around me, but honestly, it didn’t directly affect my daily 24/7.  The needs and injustices of this world have always made me want to help, and we do what we can, but within the longitutde and latitude of my life in America, there is a whole different normal.

I’m not saying there is not hardship and suffering here. There is. But, comparatively, we do not live in a war-torn land; we have freedom of speech & religion; we have basic things like paved roads, clean water and electricity;  we have sanitation systems that keep infection and disease down; we have laws (albeit not perfect!) against child labor, for safe working conditions, to monitor sanitation levels in restaurants, hospitals, etc.; truancy laws to keep kids in school; laws against child abuse, parent abuse and spousal abuse; and we have legal rights in the justice system.  Take away the tangible things and America is still, by far, a very rich place in which to live.

Most people in the world have far fewer rights and protections and live on $1 or less per day.  26,000 people, including children, die every day from preventable diseases and illnesses.  The rate of human trafficking, starvation, drought and political conflict is mind-boggling.  Does it affect where my kids go to school?  Where I buy my groceries? Where I go to church? I must admit, for many years I kept the two dichotomies separated.  We help locally and globally, but my daily grind did not know the physical hardships of most people in the world.

In the last few years, however, God has awoken me from a hazy sleep.  He broadened my narrow vision in a whole new way.  With the organizations we volunteer for, God has given us more work and responsibilities.  With our church, God has given us more opportunities to serve.

It’s a whole different story to know orphans that I call by name and pray for every day.  Whose faces are on the walls of my daughter’s bedroom and who are smiling at me every time I close my eyes wondering how they are doing in Kenya.  Children we’ve met, played with and held.  Teens who have dreams and hopes and goals, but little to no help to achieve them.

No one is less important than anyone else, but “here” and “there” have felt light years apart for years.

I’ve always been a huge advocate for water conservation because I grew up in an area where there was a constant threat of drought.  I try to do my part by taking very short showers; turning off the water when brushing my teeth; dumping boiled vegetable water on my outdoor potted plants; watering indoor plants with leftover cups of water; using large shade trees to cool the grass instead of a sprinkler system; and using water-saving car washes (only when truly needed) versus the hose water running down the gutter.  Very little water goes to waste in our house.  Even still, I feel so guilty for using any of it because I saw the miles people walk, barefoot and carrying plastic jugs, to fetch their daily water supply.  The water I wash my dishes with is far cleaner than the only water many people have to drink.

And, we have a house.  It’s not the biggest, it’s not the smallest.  We do, however, use every square inch of it – none of it wasted space.  One could look at the daily messes in it to know that it is true!  But, how many people in the world have a house?  Not many.   Every night when we say prayers with the kids, we thank God for a bed to sleep in and a roof over our heads.  But, we also pray for those who don’t have such luxuries.

That’s my point.  Why do some people call them luxuries and some call it a normal standard of living?  It’s all what we’re used to.

My life has been used to one way of living.  My heart has always known better.  As I experience more of this planet, the gap between the two dichotomies is only growing wider and it’s tearing me in two.

How do I enjoy things like flipping through a Restoration Hardware catalog and dreaming of the what-ifs, while I know children are dying because they don’t have simple vaccines or enough food to survive?

How do I serve those who need help, but still be thankful for what God has blessed me with like a full belly, shoes on my feet, and a home with doors to lock and a van to drive?

I can’t figure this out.  Part of me wants to sell everything and move to a faraway land.  Part of me feels called to stay put and continue the ministries that we do stateside that help people all over the world because of the resources we have here.

The summer before God called our family to short-term mission, we put a pool in the backyard of our home that we’ve lived in for 15 years.  It’s not a huge pool, but it fits the size of our motley crew.  We saved for a very, very long time and made sacrifices in other areas to make it happen.  It has been a great tool to strengthen our family time, and we love to have extended family and friends over to enjoy it with us.   But, the next summer we surprisingly found ourselves in Africa, and this summer we are preparing for another mission to a different part of the world, and my husband and I wonder if we did the right thing with the pool.  We are deeply thankful God allowed us to save the money to do it, but I also now know a lot better now how far that money could go to help people simply survive.  If we had the same choice to make all over again, would we build it?  And is this a contradiction to my water conservation awareness?

Ug.

I may never find a balance within my heart with these two parts of me.  The world itself is not balanced.  It does bother me, however, to not even notice the two vastly different mailers sitting right next to each other on my coffee table as if they were equal reading.  They are not.

One thing I can do is this:

  • Continue to teach my children the difference between need and want (Matthew 6: 25-33)
  • Teach them the value of serving others (Matthew 20:26-28)
  • Teach them to consider others more highly than they consider themselves (Philippians 2:3)
  • Teach them not to be afraid of hard work (2 Thessalonians 3:7-12)
  • Teach them to be grateful for what they have, not to have too much of it, and be willing to share it (Philippians 3:12-13; Acts 2:44-45)
  • Teach them the value of money and its proper place in our lives (1 Timothy 6:6-10)
  • Teach them to tithe (Leviticus 27:30; Matthew 22:21)
  • Teach them to work as unto the Lord and not for the glory of people or ourselves (Ephesians 6:7-8; Colossians 3:23-24)
  • Talk with them about ways they can use their gifts and talents to make a difference in this world (Ephesians 2:10)
  • Talk with them about what lasts in this world – and what doesn’t (Matthew 6:19-21)
  • Talk with them about love and who deserves our whole heart (Deuteronomy 6:5)
  • Encourage them to always look for good to do…and do it (1 Timothy 6:18)
  • Example all of this in my own life first.

Children truly imitate their parents – for better or worse.  If we want to play a role in helping this world survive for generations to come, change needs to begin with us.

Decades ago, my mom clipped a poem by Charles Kingsley and pinned it to our kitchen corkboard.  This little piece of paper is one of the only (and most beloved) treasures I have left from losing everything in catastrophic loss when I was a teen.  Below is a scan of the original.

Every time I try to wrap my head around the dichotomy of my world and the world, I end up with more questions than answers.  Returning from Africa, I feel like I have no home.  Like I told a friend, I’m not comfortable living in this society because we have so much, but I’m not sure I could handle living there with its unrelenting hardships.

I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere.

I think that’s exactly where God wants our hearts.  As Christians, we are citizens of another world.  A world our eyes cannot see, but one our hearts are drawn to.  This isn’t where we belong.  It shouldn’t be comfortable.  Pardon the double negative, but it shouldn’t be a place that we wouldn’t want to leave if the Lord called us home.

John 18:36 – Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place.” 

Philippians 3:20-21 –  But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

1 Peter 2:11 – Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.

I can relate as someone who finds herself a nomad at heart, a stranger passing through this life.

God wants us to enjoy His gift of life, to enjoy the tangible and intangible blessings of life, and be thankful for what He has given us (not which was attained by selfish desire).  But, He never meant for us to keep it all to ourselves.  I’m not only referring to money and physical resources, He also wants us to share our time, talents and energy; our love, friendship and humor; everything that makes us unique that He inspired in us for His purposes.  Most of all, He wants us to share the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ, the free gift of eternal life that the world cannot take away.

As the world economy and our American economy both feel the tremble of emerging fault lines beneath our feet, serious thought and prayer need to play a major part in how we spend every dollar and donate every hour of our time & resources.  Time is short.  Life is precious.  God help us.

Is change really possible?

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. ~ Isaiah 55:8-9

Today, I write with a full heart. A heart of overwhelming gratefulness for what God has done. I had an opportunity recently to be vividly reminded of a particular situation several years ago. As my memory was refreshed, the pain, sorrow, frustration and anxiety all came rushing back like a powerful tsunami sweeping over me. My physical heart felt physical pain over this issue by the mere mention of its memories.

Before I could drown in those horrible feelings, God swooped in and reminded me of all He has done through the situation to bring entirely different result.

If there was to be a positive result of any kind, His ways demanded open minds, strong hearts and radical change. How does one find the energy to participate in something so far off our normal path? Aren’t we already exhausted from daily life plus dealing with the issue at hand?

We could have simply sat down on the path and admitted defeat; or we could have turned and gone in our own direction out of anger; or we could have become frozen in a state of indecisiveness. This particular journey could have easily had any of those outcomes. In fact, I had moments of all of those on the path God was leading. Thankfully, He carefully drew me back each time, setting my feet on sure ground when they began to slip.

My question today is, do we really believe something that is uncertain & scary can be tamed to be something beautiful and beneficial in our lives? Do we believe change is really possible? After all, change is the most stubborn thing I know.

The answer to a problem isn’t that we pretend the problem never existed. But, wouldn’t that be great? Like a fairy godmother, a magic wand is waved and-poof!-the issue never happened. However, we don’t live in a land far, far away with stone castles and dense, towering forests. Nope. That ain’t reality – though most days I wish it were.

Daily, we are confronted with the problems, and the after math of them, that a broken world suffers under with every sunrise and sunset. Is there a possible happily-ever-after in this troubled world? In this lifetime, all we have to work with is the here-and-now. But, this doesn’t have to mean a life of defeat and frustration.

We can experience immense joy smack dab in the middle of what life throws at us. Our hope is in Christ.  Everything here is temporary. Our hope is fixed on Christ who is eternal. He came to give us abundant life both now and in our happily-ever-after in the next life. This isn’t prosperity gospel, because frankly, Jesus promised us we would have problems. Like Sarah Young said in her devotional, Jesus Calling, “When things seem all wrong, trust God anyway. God is much less interested in right circumstances than in right responses to whatever comes our way.”

God doesn’t take sadistic pleasure in our suffering. However, He knows that there is growth in conflict.  Romans 5:3-5 tells us, “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” With that, God has given us Scripture to encourage us along the journey.

Here are a few:

* Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!  ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17
* (Jesus said) “…Everything is possible for him who believes.” ~ Mark 9:23
* But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  ~ 2 Corinthians 4:7-9

* And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. ~ Hebrew 11:32-34

* (Jesus) must become greater; I must become less. ~ John 3:30

* But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

* (God speaking) My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them.  ~ Jeremiah 24:6

* …They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. ~ Isaiah 61:3

* This is what the LORD says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls… ~ Jeremiah 6:16

* “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~ Matthew 11:28-30

* …The LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him. ~ Psalm 34:22

*Matthew 5:3-12

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

We cannot lose heart. When I stand back and look at the amazing work God has done to redeem this situation, I can only stand in awe and know it was He who did it. Yes, it has taken a lot of hard work, courage I didn’t know I had, and a relentless pursuing of the impossible on my part. All of it. All of it was worth it.

This is what I am learning: give God room to work. He can make something from nothing. He’s strong enough, brave enough and smart enough to use whatever our life holds for His glory and our good. Isaiah 55:10-11, “As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

I stand amazed at how much progress has been made in this particular area. Truly, a beautiful planting for the display of His resplendent magnificence. I am so grateful that God never gives up on us. I take refuge that His ways are higher than ours. There is peace in knowing He knows it all. Sometimes, it’s good to look back and see just how far our journey has traveled. I can see the mountaintop-highs, valley-lows and never-ending plateaus of the in between that have brought us this far. His hand guiding every step. His hand diligently crafting something beautiful and beneficial for His glory and our redemption. Change is possible. God is good.

So thankful for Selah Day!

My peeps and I are taking the Sabbath to rest and rejeuvenate from a wonderfully busy and blessed weekend. One of our family’s mantras is…

We do nothing really well!

Join us in enjoying doing nothing.  Monday will thank you. :)Tomorrow we will continue our Favorite Fifteen.  See you then!

Kristi

I could…

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  ~ Hebrews 4:14-16

Good Thursday morning,

Today, I could tell you that I woke up with my stomach in knots.  But, I didn’t.  I could tell you that I am worried sick over today’s events, but I’m not.  I could tell you that I’m freaking out inside over walking a familiar road – one I never wanted to walk again.  But, I won’t.

Today, a beloved family member is having surgery.  Surgery that makes my skin crawl and tempts me to throw hope out the window and only listen to statistics. Surgery that possesses the power to completely alter the future of our family.  I have a personal, deep-seeded hatred for the disease that necessitates this surgery.

How do we respond when life brings an unwanted package to our door?  We didn’t ask for it, order it or want it.  It sits at our door nonetheless, and no one is able to take it away.  It must be accepted.  It must be opened.  What do we do?

Well, we could deny its existence, but that doesn’t lessen the reality of it.  We could sit and stare at it, but that gets us nowhere.  We could try to discard it, but it’s too heavy to lift.  Dear Lord, what do we do?

What we won’t do is cave.  We won’t crumble under helplessness.  We won’t give in to worry.  We won’t admit defeat before the battle has barely begun.  We won’t hysterically throw our hands up in the air and lose our senses.  We won’t shake an angry fist at God saying, It’s all Your fault!

We pray.  Oh, I am not talking about the cliche Christian answer to life’s problems.  I’m talking about tapping into the Holy Spirit inside us to intercede on our loved one’s behalf (Romans 8:26).  We call on the authority in the name of Jesus Christ, to proclaim God’s sovereignty over our loved one (2 Corinthians 12:9).  We exercise our faith muscle knowing God sees all and is in all.  We call on Christ as our High Priest to intercede for her.  We, with boldness because of salvation and grace, approach the throne room of God and ask for the sparing our loved one’s life.

Our family’s strength and sanity is wrapped in the goodness of God despite the circumstances.  We know He is passionate about our loved one.  We know He never takes His eyes off of her.  More than coming up with feelgood statements, or reaching for some false hope that the world tries to wrap as truth, we stand on God’s Truth.  Real, solid, biblical Truth.

We’re praying Scripture over our loved one today.  If you’ve never done this before, it’s basically personalizing Scripture in the form of prayer.  It is not changing the context of the Scripture itself, rather it helps give us words when we can find none of our own.  Let’s go…

* Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with (Salli) wherever (she goes).”  Joshua 1:9

* Even to (Salli’s) old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain (her). I have made (her) and I will carry (her); I will sustain (her) and I will rescue (her). Isaiah 46:4

* May your unfailing love rest upon (Salli), O LORD, even as (she puts her) hope in you.  Psalm 33:22

* ‘“The LORD bless (Salli) and keep (her);  the LORD make his face shine upon (her) and be gracious to (her); the LORD turn his face toward (her) and give (her) peace.” Numbers 6:24-27

* …And I pray that (Salli), being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that (she) may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Ephesians 3:17-19
* (Salli ) lives by faith, not by sight.  2 Corinthians 5:7

* God speaking – “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget (Salli)!  See, I have engraved (her) on the palms of my hands; (her) walls are ever before me.  Isaiah 49:15-16

* Keep (Salli) as the apple of your eye; hide (her) in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 17:8
* God speaking – “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9
***********************************
The following is Scripture that Salli is claiming for her life.  She shared it with us, and I am sharing it with you.  
Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair. So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”  When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”  John 11: 1-4
Only God knows the future.  We know He is good all the time and nothing happens that hasn’t passed through His hands first.  He doesn’t create bad and evil events, but He does provide a redemptive plan for them.  Please listen to me.  God promises His children absolute healing.  This healing will either be in our lifetime or in the one to come.  We have prayed for Salli and released her into God’s hands.  She WILL see healing.  We ask that it be now, in this body, selfishly for our benefit because we love her, but also so she can continue to share her story of what God has already done for His glory through this illness.  As believers in Christ, our lives are not our own.  We relinquished all control when we accepted Christ as Savior.  We know He is always working for our good.  I think we get tripped up when our definition of good does not match God’s definition. After all, our definitions of “good” can differ person to person throughout the world.  There is only one God, and He is good in the most holy, pure, omnipotent, faithful, loving, tender and righteous way.  We rest in who He is and in knowing He loves Salli even more than we do.  As the old hymn sings, it is well with my soul.
<<Check out two companion songs to this post on my Tunes page!>>
My personal prayer for Salli.  Psalm 139: 1-18

 1 O LORD, you have searched (Salli)
and you know (her).
2 You know when (she) sits and when (she) rises;
you perceive (her) thoughts from afar.
3 You discern (her) going out and (her) lying down;
you are familiar with all (her) ways.
4 Before a word is on (her) tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem (Salli) in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon (her).
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can (Salli) go from your Spirit?
Where can (she) flee from your presence?
8 If (she) goes up to the heavens, you are there;
if (she) makes (her) bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If (she) rises on the wings of the dawn,
if (she) settles on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide (her),
your right hand will hold (her) fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide (her)
and the light become night around (her),”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created (Salli’s) inmost being;
you knit (her) together in (her) mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because (she) is fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 (Her) frame was not hidden from you
when (she) was made in the secret place.
When (she) was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw (her) unformed body.
All the days ordained for (her)
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to (us) are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were (we) to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When (Salli) awakes,  (she) is still with you.

What a letter, a camera and a ride in a car have in common

One warm afternoon, I stood in my front yard watering my flowers.  I noticed my neighbor, a few doors down, pacing on her driveway.  Her unusual demeanor caught my attention.  With arms folded and head down, she walked back and forth on the driveway, frequently straining her neck to look down the street. Eventually, the postal truck stopped at her house.  Her anticipation grew as it was obvious she was waiting for something to arrive in the mail.

Arrive it did!  The postal worker barely got to her mailbox when she asked for the letter to be given directly to her.  I expected her to race into the house, but she didn’t.  Instead, she made it about three steps, then tore open the envelope and eagerly read the contents.  Her eyes were fixed on the paper and her mind focused on the words.  Her stance – totally still.  Her hands firmly gripped the mysterious paper.  She couldn’t read it fast enough.  She was lost in the moment and never even never noticed me.

Recently, my favorite camera met its untimely demise on a family trip. It was accidentally knocked off of a table onto a cement floor.  The lens is trashed.  Ug. And, of course, the three-year warranttee expired last month.  Okie dokie.  So, I either get it fixed (not cheap) and be left with an unwarantteed camera for the next accident, or we buy a new one with a new waranttee.  We opted for the new one  because I use my camera all of the time.  With it came a lens, memory card, two instructional dvds and a big instruction book.  I must confess, although we weren’t in the market to camera shop, this new one is so cool!  It has many updated features compared to my old one.  This time, I told myself, I want to know all of the secrets this camera possesses.  I am going to watch both instructional dvds and read the instruction manual over and over until I know how to fully utilize this tool.  I won’t quit until I completely understand my new camera, unlike my last one that had features I never figured out and sat on automatic most of the time.  I am so excited to have this camera as a fully functioning tool in my life.

The other day, our dog was in an extra pouty mood.  She knew we were going to carpool and gave me the biggest doe eyes you’ve ever seen.  Tail down, ears down, she begged to go with us.  Okay, I finally caved, you can come.  Let’s go!  She instantly perked up, raced out the house and jumped into the van.  With her head proudly sticking out of the window, fur blowing in the wind, taking in every sight and smell, she was so excited to be with us.  Truth is, she just loves to go with us not matter where we’re going.  She’s been water rafting, hiking, camping, and beach-combing with my family.  She’s been on long car trips to visit family as well as short jaunts to the grocery store.  To her, it doesn’t matter where she’s going as long as she is with us.  If she sees her leash and food bowl get stacked on top of luggage – oh my – she can hardly contain herself! Actually, she’ll just go ahead and jump in the van before we’re ready, take her favorite seat and wait for us to load up.  She’s a mess.

So, what do these three stories have in common?  They were all used by God to show me what He wishes He had with His children – with me.  The day I watched my neighbor nearly trip over herself to get the mail, He nudged me that He wished I was as eager to hear from Him.  He wished I would hang on His every word, totally focused on Him.  He desires intimate communication with us every day. Who are we more like?  Are we like my neighbor who couldn’t even wait to reach her door to open the envelope and had to read the letter right then and there?  Or are we like who I was just today – casually sauntering to the mailbox, slowly walking back to my door while sorting through the stack, disappointed I didn’t see anything very interesting, therefore leaving the pile of mail on my counter until tomorrow? How precious are His words to us?  Do we wait for them?  Hang on them?  Hold them close to our chests and breathe in the joy of Him connecting with us?

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.  Psalm 130:5-6

With my camera, I was totally convicted that I got way more excited about reading the instruction manual and watching the dvds about how to use my new tool, compared to my sense of self-obligation to read the Bible every day.  Isn’t that terrible?  But, I’m being real.  It’s not every day I feel this way, but sometimes I find myself creating busy work because I don’t want to commit the time and energy to reading, absorbing, and putting into practice what the Bible says about daily living.  My carnal nature wants to stay in automatic mode.  I don’t always want to know the spiritual functions of living.  I want to stay within my habits and not begin a new normal.  If I could just catch the same excitement over reading the Bible like I do reading my camera manual, what would my life look like?  I LOVE the Bible.  I am fascinated, encouraged, and inspired by it.  But my pesky human nature fights me on it.  Just settle with what you know, I hear it say to me.  If I’m not willing to settle with automatic mode on my camera, I should not be okay settling for automatic mode in my life. The Bible has far greater purposes to teach us, and more than feeling privileged to even own a camera, I should feel grateful and thankful to own a Bible.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.  2 Timothy 3:16-17

That dog of mine.  How she makes me smile.  God used her furry self to show me how much I need to be like her when it comes to being on the move in service for Him.  Okay God, I’ll go here, but not there, I’ve said to Him.  Or, Um, God, I’m sorry, but I’m not willing to go anywhere that involves moving from my home, I told Him for years.  I’ll do this job, but don’t ask me to do that job, I’ve audaciously spoken. Why is being willing to go with God such a painful request?  I know why.  I like normal.  I don’t like change at all.  I like stable.  I like comfortable.  I don’t fully trust God that what He has planned for the future may actually be better than today.  I’m not a huge risk taker.  I like spontaneous…under controlled circumstances.  I’m a total contradiction.

I want a heart that begs and pouts to come with God – no matter where He is going.  I want an overwhelming sense of joy – as if hanging my head out the window smelling the smells and seeing the sights in sheer delight – in being a part of whatever He is doing.  Why do I have to know where we’re going before I’ll even consider obeying?  Why does He have to work on me to want this?  I want to desire, like my dog, the opportunity just to be with Him.  My, oh my.  I could learn a lot from my dog.  Her total devotion to me.  Her blind trust that where I am going is okay with her.  Her excited attitude that she gets to ride with Mom – no matter how close or far the trip.  I need to be more like that.  If I see God packing up my things, I shouldn’t have to ask where, when, or for how long. I want to get to a place in my journey with Him to just jump in the van, take a seat and wait for Him to drive.

Then (Jesus) said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.“    Luke 9:23

So, a letter, a camera, and a car ride.  Which are we? God wants a personal relationship with us.  He desires to be a part of our every day.  Actually, He wants to be the biggest part. He has hidden treasure for us to find in our adventure with Him – about Himself, about ourselves, and about this great big world in which we live.  Are we willing to go deeper, be vulnerable to Him, and trust Him?  How much of the passion that drives our energy is directed toward God?  Today is a new day.  I love mornings, because they remind me that God is a God of second chances.  Of new beginnings.  Of hidden potential.  Of our Creator’s crazy, radical love. Love for you and me.  Let the adventure begin.

<<Check out the companion song to this post on my Tunes page!>>

The Call

Psalm 34:6 – This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

This month marks the two year anniversary of one of the most shocking experiences in my life.  It is the month we almost lost our son in a freak accident during school.

I’ll never forget it.  I was on my way home with my other two children when my cell phone rang.  Isn’t it odd how our instincts know when the call is bad?  Wary, I answered.  It was our son’s teacher.  He told me that there had been an accident during P.E. and our son needed stitches.

Okay, I’ll be right there, I replied.

I changed the direction of the van and immediately drove to school.  Upon arrival, I was startled to see his head wrapped in gauze because  I didn’t understand what had happened at that point – only that I needed to take him to the hospital.  I called my husband and got his voice mail.  We have a system of calling to identitfy an emergency, but up to that point we never had to use it.  This was not a false alarm.

He called me back and said, You used our emergency system, is everything okay?

No, I answered.  There’s been an accident.  Meet us at the hospital.

He abruptly ended his conference call, left work and met us at the hospital.  The doctor removed the school’s bandages, and we all got a first look at the injury.  My knees grew weak.

There was a very large, gaping hole in my son’s face.  We could see all the way up and deep into his tissue.  What in the world?

My son suffered an impalement, and it nearly cost him his life.  Any other trajectory of the object, and it could have easily resulted in a permanent  impairment or fatality.  He could have easily loss his sight, his hearing, his nose or his teeth.  Worse, it could have killed him.  Oh, when I think back to it my stomach turns.

Miraculously, after weeks of pain, the only visible reminder left is a large scar.  He was literally millimeters from death, and God spared his life.  He made a full recovery – all praise and glory to our Lord!

Times like these remind us of how precious life is, and how easy it is to lose it. We are also reminded that God has a plan, and even though we live in a fallen, sinful, hurting world, God is above all and He can make something good come from something bad.  For our son, he was very grateful for the show of care and concern by classmates he thought didn’t care at all about him.  He was humbled by the love shown by family and friends.  Our son saw firsthand the power of God and intervention in his life.  He has used his story many times to give witness to the saving power of God.  He allowed God to work in his life, and this incident made him stronger in his faith and in his daily life.

When bad things rock our world, we become stronger or weaker.  Bitter or forgiving.  Soft-spirited or hard-hearted.  It’s our choice.  For our family, we know and rest in the assurance that God sees all, knows all, and nothing can happen that has not passed through the hands of our Father. God doesn’t create bad.  He is the Author of good.  So many times in this world, God gets dubbed the bad guy. God is good.  God is holy.  God is loving.  He cannot be both bad and good at the same time.  However, He does allow bad things to happen – but not without a redemptive plan.  The Garden of Eden was the only perfect paradise on earth, and we simply don’t live in that world anymore.  However, God can radically work in our lives – for our good – if we let Him.

Do we understand why bad things happen?  No.  I don’t have answers, explanations, or justifications.  I only know that God can bring good out of bad and can spare us hard hearts if we allow ourselves to be pliable in His hands.

I don’t take this persepctive because we had a happy ending.  If you’ve read my other blogs, you’ve seen that there have been many times in my life that did not result in a happy ending this side of Heaven. This doesn’t mean I can’t find joy in my every day.  Sometimes what happens in life isn’t our choice.  But, how we respond is our choice.  I encourage you to seek God and ask Him to work in your life and show you the glory of His redemptive power.

If you are also thankful today for a near miss, a sparing of life, for a loved one or yourself, celebrate with me with the verses below.

Daniel 3:13 – Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king…16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace. 24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?” They replied, “Certainly, O king.” 25 He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.” 26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!” So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them. 28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.

 Exodus 14:10-14, 26-29 – As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD. 11 They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? 12 Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!” 13 Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” 26 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand over the sea so that the waters may flow back over the Egyptians and their chariots and horsemen.” 27 Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and at daybreak the sea went back to its place. The Egyptians were fleeing toward it, and the LORD swept them into the sea. 28 The water flowed back and covered the chariots and horsemen—the entire army of Pharaoh that had followed the Israelites into the sea. Not one of them survived.  29 But the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left.

Acts 16: 22-23, 26-30 – The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten. 23 After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully.26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody’s chains came loose. 27 The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. 28But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!” 29 The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

 Acts 28:1-5 (After the northeaster storm and shipwreck) – Once safely on shore, we found out that the island was called Malta. 2 The islanders showed us unusual kindness. They built a fire and welcomed us all because it was raining and cold. 3 Paul gathered a pile of brushwood and, as he put it on the fire, a viper, driven out by the heat, fastened itself on his hand. 4 When the islanders saw the snake hanging from his hand, they said to each other, “This man must be a murderer; for though he escaped from the sea, Justice has not allowed him to live.” 5 But Paul shook the snake off into the fire and suffered no ill effects.
Zephaniah 3:17 – The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save…
With a grateful heart,

Kristi

Two weeks

But encourage one another daily, as long as it called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

It’s Monday.  Although I am thankful for each and every day, I can’t remember when I’ve been more thankful for a Monday.  Our family is coming off of one of the busiest weeks we’ve have in a long, long time.  Honestly, I don’t know where we left off in life before last week.  One thing I do know is that I’ve missed my husband.  Our lives went in opposite directions, literally and metaphorically.  One week felt more like a month.

Yesterday, I had a powerful conversation with a friend.  He talked about the last two weeks with his wife before she passed away.  It’s been a few years since she died, but it was obvious his heart was still so tender toward her.  I listened to his spoken words and body language as he choked back tears and shared his story.

He told me that the last two weeks they had together were the most impactful to him.  They talked about everything, leaving no stone unturned.  My takeaway?

He said, What would marriages, this world, be like if husbands and wives knew they only had two more weeks together?

All of a sudden, the little, annoying things in life really just don’t matter.  One would find the courage to confront the big things, the elephants in the room, and take them on.

Two weeks.  What would our lives look like?

I already missed my husband, but this conversation made me miss him more.  I told him just this morning that I am looking forward to today – a Monday.  Because life will, hopefully, settle back down to whatever our normal looks like.

I’ll hold him a little tighter, smile a little more, make eye contact when we speak and listen to him a little longer.  And, I will be thankful for what we have and live like we have two more weeks – knowing we are not even promised tomorrow.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Colossians 3:12-14 – Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.