Tag Archives: faith

What a letter, a camera and a ride in a car have in common

One warm afternoon, I stood in my front yard watering my flowers.  I noticed my neighbor, a few doors down, pacing on her driveway.  Her unusual demeanor caught my attention.  With arms folded and head down, she walked back and forth on the driveway, frequently straining her neck to look down the street. Eventually, the postal truck stopped at her house.  Her anticipation grew as it was obvious she was waiting for something to arrive in the mail.

Arrive it did!  The postal worker barely got to her mailbox when she asked for the letter to be given directly to her.  I expected her to race into the house, but she didn’t.  Instead, she made it about three steps, then tore open the envelope and eagerly read the contents.  Her eyes were fixed on the paper and her mind focused on the words.  Her stance – totally still.  Her hands firmly gripped the mysterious paper.  She couldn’t read it fast enough.  She was lost in the moment and never even never noticed me.

Recently, my favorite camera met its untimely demise on a family trip. It was accidentally knocked off of a table onto a cement floor.  The lens is trashed.  Ug. And, of course, the three-year warranttee expired last month.  Okie dokie.  So, I either get it fixed (not cheap) and be left with an unwarantteed camera for the next accident, or we buy a new one with a new waranttee.  We opted for the new one  because I use my camera all of the time.  With it came a lens, memory card, two instructional dvds and a big instruction book.  I must confess, although we weren’t in the market to camera shop, this new one is so cool!  It has many updated features compared to my old one.  This time, I told myself, I want to know all of the secrets this camera possesses.  I am going to watch both instructional dvds and read the instruction manual over and over until I know how to fully utilize this tool.  I won’t quit until I completely understand my new camera, unlike my last one that had features I never figured out and sat on automatic most of the time.  I am so excited to have this camera as a fully functioning tool in my life.

The other day, our dog was in an extra pouty mood.  She knew we were going to carpool and gave me the biggest doe eyes you’ve ever seen.  Tail down, ears down, she begged to go with us.  Okay, I finally caved, you can come.  Let’s go!  She instantly perked up, raced out the house and jumped into the van.  With her head proudly sticking out of the window, fur blowing in the wind, taking in every sight and smell, she was so excited to be with us.  Truth is, she just loves to go with us not matter where we’re going.  She’s been water rafting, hiking, camping, and beach-combing with my family.  She’s been on long car trips to visit family as well as short jaunts to the grocery store.  To her, it doesn’t matter where she’s going as long as she is with us.  If she sees her leash and food bowl get stacked on top of luggage – oh my – she can hardly contain herself! Actually, she’ll just go ahead and jump in the van before we’re ready, take her favorite seat and wait for us to load up.  She’s a mess.

So, what do these three stories have in common?  They were all used by God to show me what He wishes He had with His children – with me.  The day I watched my neighbor nearly trip over herself to get the mail, He nudged me that He wished I was as eager to hear from Him.  He wished I would hang on His every word, totally focused on Him.  He desires intimate communication with us every day. Who are we more like?  Are we like my neighbor who couldn’t even wait to reach her door to open the envelope and had to read the letter right then and there?  Or are we like who I was just today – casually sauntering to the mailbox, slowly walking back to my door while sorting through the stack, disappointed I didn’t see anything very interesting, therefore leaving the pile of mail on my counter until tomorrow? How precious are His words to us?  Do we wait for them?  Hang on them?  Hold them close to our chests and breathe in the joy of Him connecting with us?

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.  Psalm 130:5-6

With my camera, I was totally convicted that I got way more excited about reading the instruction manual and watching the dvds about how to use my new tool, compared to my sense of self-obligation to read the Bible every day.  Isn’t that terrible?  But, I’m being real.  It’s not every day I feel this way, but sometimes I find myself creating busy work because I don’t want to commit the time and energy to reading, absorbing, and putting into practice what the Bible says about daily living.  My carnal nature wants to stay in automatic mode.  I don’t always want to know the spiritual functions of living.  I want to stay within my habits and not begin a new normal.  If I could just catch the same excitement over reading the Bible like I do reading my camera manual, what would my life look like?  I LOVE the Bible.  I am fascinated, encouraged, and inspired by it.  But my pesky human nature fights me on it.  Just settle with what you know, I hear it say to me.  If I’m not willing to settle with automatic mode on my camera, I should not be okay settling for automatic mode in my life. The Bible has far greater purposes to teach us, and more than feeling privileged to even own a camera, I should feel grateful and thankful to own a Bible.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.  2 Timothy 3:16-17

That dog of mine.  How she makes me smile.  God used her furry self to show me how much I need to be like her when it comes to being on the move in service for Him.  Okay God, I’ll go here, but not there, I’ve said to Him.  Or, Um, God, I’m sorry, but I’m not willing to go anywhere that involves moving from my home, I told Him for years.  I’ll do this job, but don’t ask me to do that job, I’ve audaciously spoken. Why is being willing to go with God such a painful request?  I know why.  I like normal.  I don’t like change at all.  I like stable.  I like comfortable.  I don’t fully trust God that what He has planned for the future may actually be better than today.  I’m not a huge risk taker.  I like spontaneous…under controlled circumstances.  I’m a total contradiction.

I want a heart that begs and pouts to come with God – no matter where He is going.  I want an overwhelming sense of joy – as if hanging my head out the window smelling the smells and seeing the sights in sheer delight – in being a part of whatever He is doing.  Why do I have to know where we’re going before I’ll even consider obeying?  Why does He have to work on me to want this?  I want to desire, like my dog, the opportunity just to be with Him.  My, oh my.  I could learn a lot from my dog.  Her total devotion to me.  Her blind trust that where I am going is okay with her.  Her excited attitude that she gets to ride with Mom – no matter how close or far the trip.  I need to be more like that.  If I see God packing up my things, I shouldn’t have to ask where, when, or for how long. I want to get to a place in my journey with Him to just jump in the van, take a seat and wait for Him to drive.

Then (Jesus) said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.“    Luke 9:23

So, a letter, a camera, and a car ride.  Which are we? God wants a personal relationship with us.  He desires to be a part of our every day.  Actually, He wants to be the biggest part. He has hidden treasure for us to find in our adventure with Him – about Himself, about ourselves, and about this great big world in which we live.  Are we willing to go deeper, be vulnerable to Him, and trust Him?  How much of the passion that drives our energy is directed toward God?  Today is a new day.  I love mornings, because they remind me that God is a God of second chances.  Of new beginnings.  Of hidden potential.  Of our Creator’s crazy, radical love. Love for you and me.  Let the adventure begin.

<<Check out the companion song to this post on my Tunes page!>>

The Call

Psalm 34:6 – This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

This month marks the two year anniversary of one of the most shocking experiences in my life.  It is the month we almost lost our son in a freak accident during school.

I’ll never forget it.  I was on my way home with my other two children when my cell phone rang.  Isn’t it odd how our instincts know when the call is bad?  Wary, I answered.  It was our son’s teacher.  He told me that there had been an accident during P.E. and our son needed stitches.

Okay, I’ll be right there, I replied.

I changed the direction of the van and immediately drove to school.  Upon arrival, I was startled to see his head wrapped in gauze because  I didn’t understand what had happened at that point – only that I needed to take him to the hospital.  I called my husband and got his voice mail.  We have a system of calling to identitfy an emergency, but up to that point we never had to use it.  This was not a false alarm.

He called me back and said, You used our emergency system, is everything okay?

No, I answered.  There’s been an accident.  Meet us at the hospital.

He abruptly ended his conference call, left work and met us at the hospital.  The doctor removed the school’s bandages, and we all got a first look at the injury.  My knees grew weak.

There was a very large, gaping hole in my son’s face.  We could see all the way up and deep into his tissue.  What in the world?

My son suffered an impalement, and it nearly cost him his life.  Any other trajectory of the object, and it could have easily resulted in a permanent  impairment or fatality.  He could have easily loss his sight, his hearing, his nose or his teeth.  Worse, it could have killed him.  Oh, when I think back to it my stomach turns.

Miraculously, after weeks of pain, the only visible reminder left is a large scar.  He was literally millimeters from death, and God spared his life.  He made a full recovery – all praise and glory to our Lord!

Times like these remind us of how precious life is, and how easy it is to lose it. We are also reminded that God has a plan, and even though we live in a fallen, sinful, hurting world, God is above all and He can make something good come from something bad.  For our son, he was very grateful for the show of care and concern by classmates he thought didn’t care at all about him.  He was humbled by the love shown by family and friends.  Our son saw firsthand the power of God and intervention in his life.  He has used his story many times to give witness to the saving power of God.  He allowed God to work in his life, and this incident made him stronger in his faith and in his daily life.

When bad things rock our world, we become stronger or weaker.  Bitter or forgiving.  Soft-spirited or hard-hearted.  It’s our choice.  For our family, we know and rest in the assurance that God sees all, knows all, and nothing can happen that has not passed through the hands of our Father. God doesn’t create bad.  He is the Author of good.  So many times in this world, God gets dubbed the bad guy. God is good.  God is holy.  God is loving.  He cannot be both bad and good at the same time.  However, He does allow bad things to happen – but not without a redemptive plan.  The Garden of Eden was the only perfect paradise on earth, and we simply don’t live in that world anymore.  However, God can radically work in our lives – for our good – if we let Him.

Do we understand why bad things happen?  No.  I don’t have answers, explanations, or justifications.  I only know that God can bring good out of bad and can spare us hard hearts if we allow ourselves to be pliable in His hands.

I don’t take this persepctive because we had a happy ending.  If you’ve read my other blogs, you’ve seen that there have been many times in my life that did not result in a happy ending this side of Heaven. This doesn’t mean I can’t find joy in my every day.  Sometimes what happens in life isn’t our choice.  But, how we respond is our choice.  I encourage you to seek God and ask Him to work in your life and show you the glory of His redemptive power.

If you are also thankful today for a near miss, a sparing of life, for a loved one or yourself, celebrate with me with the verses below.

Daniel 3:13 – Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king…16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace. 24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?” They replied, “Certainly, O king.” 25 He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.” 26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!” So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them. 28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.

 Exodus 14:10-14, 26-29 – As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD. 11 They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? 12 Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!” 13 Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” 26 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Stretch out your hand over the sea so that the waters may flow back over the Egyptians and their chariots and horsemen.” 27 Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and at daybreak the sea went back to its place. The Egyptians were fleeing toward it, and the LORD swept them into the sea. 28 The water flowed back and covered the chariots and horsemen—the entire army of Pharaoh that had followed the Israelites into the sea. Not one of them survived.  29 But the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left.

Acts 16: 22-23, 26-30 – The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten. 23 After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully.26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody’s chains came loose. 27 The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. 28But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!” 29 The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

 Acts 28:1-5 (After the northeaster storm and shipwreck) – Once safely on shore, we found out that the island was called Malta. 2 The islanders showed us unusual kindness. They built a fire and welcomed us all because it was raining and cold. 3 Paul gathered a pile of brushwood and, as he put it on the fire, a viper, driven out by the heat, fastened itself on his hand. 4 When the islanders saw the snake hanging from his hand, they said to each other, “This man must be a murderer; for though he escaped from the sea, Justice has not allowed him to live.” 5 But Paul shook the snake off into the fire and suffered no ill effects.
Zephaniah 3:17 – The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save…
With a grateful heart,

Kristi

What Earth Day and the Sabbath have in common…

Through (God) all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of men. John 1:3-4

For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.
Exodus 20:11

Today is Earth Day, a day meant to appreciate nature and its contribution to the world.  Moreover, it is the Sabbath, our day of rest.  There are so many amazing things God has made.  Animals show off His magnificent, creative genius; foliage boasts His resplendent, omnipotent knowledge; the sea & land spout His brilliant imagination; and people – they reflect His loving, tender heart.  God made all and is in all.  While we appreciate Earth Day, let’s give the glory to the one who made the earth and everything in it. Let’s go back to the source of both the earth and resting.  For that, we turn to Genesis…

Genesis 1

The Beginning

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

6 And God said, “Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water.” 7 So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so. 8 God called the expanse “sky.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.

9 And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. 10 God called the dry ground “land,” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” And God saw that it was good.
11 Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. 12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.

14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so. 16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.

20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky.” 21 So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.” 23 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.

24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. 25 God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.
31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Genesis 2: 1-3

 1 Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.

2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. 3 And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Happy Selah Day,

Kristi

Props

Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. ~ Psalm 71:17

We’ve spent several days talking about the life of a teen – the good, the bad and the ugly. I’ve offered up some personal examples in hope that, in some small way, someone else can relate.  Before ending this series, I would be remiss if I didn’t give God a shout-out for the amazing things He did in the midst of tragedy.  Today, I simply want to say thank you to Him by telling of His good works.

All of the events in my teen life (which only some have been shared on this blog for the sake of time) were shocking to me.  Most of them I never saw coming.  I was emotionally startled at every turn.  God knew how hyper-sensitive I had become to the instability in my life, and He stepped in one day in a most unique way.  I had a dream.  I was in a room with pale blue walls and dark brown furniture.  It had a big window.  It was quiet.  I didn’t know where I was, but it was calming and unsettling at the same time.  In my dream, I walked around the room looking at everything in detail.  I turned to close the door, and behind the door there was a cross with Christ hanging on it.  I thought to myself in the dream, Jesus is here – He is in this room.

Shortly after the dream, my mom had surgery.  I’ll never forget the moment we were told they couldn’t get all of the cancer, and her long-term prognosis was grim.  She was placed in a hospital room post-op.  I walked down the sterile maze of halls to find her room and entered it.  I had not just entered a hospital room, but a new phase with my mom.  Everything rode on her surgery.  We were waiting for the good news that she was on the other side of this.  That we were on the other side of cancer.  Such was not the case.  This phase was dark and terrifying.  Oddly, however, the room felt familiar to me.  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it felt like I had been there before.  As she lay in bed, unaware of our presence, I scanned the room with quizzical curiosity.  Then it dawned on me.  Perhaps I had been here before – in my dream? I walked to the door and slowly began to look behind it thinking there was no way.  Yes way.  There it was…the same exact cross with Christ hanging on it. I knew then the gift God had given me.  He absorbed the shock value for me by letting me walk the new room, the new phase of life,  in my dream first.  Most importantly, through the same cross, Jesus reminded me that I was not alone – He was there with us.

Months later, on what would be my mom’s last Valentine’s Day, a guy I was dating at the time, (he was a bit older than me and was in the service) and I talked about how she was going to be all alone.  My sister had gone out for the evening, and I felt terribly guilty for leaving Mom to go out with him.  He surprised both my mom and me with a change in plans.  He came to our door with not one, but two huge bouquets of flowers – one for her and one for me.  He surprised us and told us that he’d be taking both of us to dinner and a movie!  And he did.  Even in the movie, he sat in the middle of us with an arm around each of us.  She had not felt that in a long time.  Afterwards, he took down the top of his JEEP and took my mom on the ride of her life.  He had her laughing and screaming and hanging on tight.  She had so much fun, and I enjoyed every second of watching her smile more than she had in many months.  He is a Christian, and truly the love of Christ shone through him.  It is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for our family.  God really was my mom’s Valentine that year.

A few years later, I was in college and wasn’t sure what major would be best for me.  Therefore, I took a variety of different courses.  As an undergraduate, I was given special permission to take some graduate-level courses.  Besides the full load of social work courses I took that semester, I also took a graduate class in the sociology of emotion.  It was one of the most interesting classes I’ve ever taken.  I was able to learn how emotions affect the human body.  It was fascinating and helped me understand myself better.  Moreover, I was granted the opportunity to take a graduate class in rehabilitative counseling.

At that point in my life, I had not received any personal counseling for what I had endured.  This class, for me, was like school and therapy all rolled into one.  It was there I learned the 5 stages of grief in depth, as well as other issues common to trauma and suffering.  I could not get enough of this class.  So much of what I was feeling about everything that had happened to me made much more sense.  God made a way for me to take both of these classes not normally available to undergrads.  This class changed my life.  And, it led me to the next blessing.

While taking rehab counseling, I suffered from strong chest pains, rapid heart rate, sweating, panic, shortness of breath, etc.  Every time it happened, I thought I was having a heart attack.  My newlywed husband drove me to the ER each time.  The last time it happened, my doctor was on call in the ER at the time.  He had already performed an EKG and other tests on me in his office and concluded I was fine.  But, here I was in the ER again with the same scary symptoms.  He came out to the waiting room (to my surprise) and squatted down in front of me.  I thought I was special to receive such personal treatment.  With hands clasped together, he looked at me through his glasses and firmly said – loud enough for the entire room to hear – Kristi, you are not sick.  There is nothing wrong with you.  If you want to see sick people, come in the back with me and I’ll show them to you.  I refuse to treat you.  What you need is counseling.  Now go home!  What?  How could he?  How DARE he!  I was mortified as I sat there wide-eyed in the hard, plastic chair.  I watched his white coat disappear behind the double doors and that was that.  Everyone in the waiting room stared at me as I got up and left.

I was spitting mad!  He did not have the right to chastise me in front of everyone.  He refused treatment for me.  He yelled at me!  His words…were right.  After days of replaying the embarrassing scene over in my mind, his words about counseling kept coming back.  I swallowed a large dose of pride and called my church to see what was available.  Sure enough, a social worker was assigned to our church.  The first time I met with her, I gave her the rundown of the many things that had happened in my life.  She very calmly responded, I think we have something to work with here.  However, I told her I could only afford $5/session.  (I was a newlywed at 19 and my young husband and I were working our way through college.)  She said that was okay.  I met with her every other day for an entire year.  I don’t remember the sessions, but I know that they played a HUGE part in getting me through grieving and helping me heal.  Kind of like running.  A runner can train for a year, and not remember every step, path or trail.  However, she still trains for the finish line.  The sessions are a blur, but each one of them got me one step closer to healing.

Sometimes we think nothing good can come of something bad.  The way my doctor treated me was humiliating, unfair and disrespectful.  But, it took that difficult moment for me to realize it wasn’t my physical heart that needed treating.  Indeed, God brought something very good out of a bad moment.

There are so many blessings God gave me through those difficult years.  How I wish I could keep writing and writing to share them with you.  Sometimes they were obvious, and other times I had to really search to find them.  But, He promised to never leave me and He never has.  For teens, parents, caregivers and friends, remember this…God is good all the time – even when life isn’t.  He’s working for the best interest of His children, for His glory, and His covenant promises to never abandon us even if we abandon Him.  Don’t give up…you have a life story, too.  What will you write?

Psalm 71:14-18

But as for me, I will always have hope;
   I will praise you more and more.
15 My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
   of your salvation all day long,
   though I know not its measure.
16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD;
   I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
17 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
   and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray,
   do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
   your might to all who are to come.  

Untangle the web of lies – guys & labels

We continue with the discussion of teen labels today.  Many teenagers see themselves this way – Tell me who I am.   Internally, teens are growing and changing physically, mentally, and emotionally at warp speed.  Externally, there are parental, school, social and community standards who all say, Follow me.  I know best.  Oftentimes, however, those voices contradict one another.  Their rules are different, they argue opposing expectations, and no one will back down from their position of being right.  Who in the world do teens listen to?  To confuse matters more, some of the “should-be” positive voices that impress their standard on teens are actually harmful (i.e., abusive homes, dangerous friends or fallen mentors) and it convolutes teens’ thinking even more.  It’s no wonder why being a teenager can be so frustrating!

So it’s no surprise when, taking all of the above into consideration, at the end of the day the teen relinquishes his or her own identity in defeat and says, Just tell me who you want me to be.

One of the stickiest labels attached to teens is how the opposite gender sees them.  I can’t think of many other factors that affect a teen more.  For teenagers reading this blog, yes, how we present ourselves to the world, and our desire to be accepted by it, is important.  It’s how civilization continues.  But, that’s when the labels are positive.  What happens when the labels hurt?

When I was in 9th grade, before the reality show “The Bachelor” ever aired, I found myself in the middle of my very own rose ceremony.  Forget the fancy dresses, mansions, and Barbies falling all over their Ken.  My rose ceremony happened on a baseball field on a Friday night.  A large group of guys and girls hung around after the game.  In that group was a guy that I had a huge crush on – for years.  And, he knew it (ug).  I thought he was the hottest guy ever, and oh how his dimples just made me melt.  He lived down the street from me, and I found every reason to pass by his house just to catch a glimpse of him and perhaps, maybe, get a Hi from him.  I walked the dog, rode my bike, ran for exercise, anything that kept me moving past because I never would have dared to actually stop at his house.  I was smitten.

After the baseball game, rumor had it he was going to choose between another girl (I didn’t know her) and me.  Oh the thought!  I was going to finally find out where I stood with him and if the strong feelings I had for him were mutual.  The group formed a circle, and the three of us were in the middle of it.  When I look back on this moment, I can totally feel the awkwardness of it all over again and cringe in discomfort at the whole affair.

He looked at both of us with those dimples.  Without a word, he walked over to the other girl, took her hand, and they walked out of the circle together and disappeared into the night.

I was…crushed, humiliated, devastated, mortified, angry, hurt, shocked and embarrassed.  I felt ugly, hideous, worthless, rejected, stupid, and a host of other feelings.  I compared myself to nothing more than the mound of red baseball dirt beneath my feet.

Have you ever said something out loud that you meant to only think in your head?  Yikes, I have.  This was one of those times.  I (accidentally) said under my breath, trying to hold my composure together, Why not me?  What’s wrong with me?  I never expected a response.  A girl standing next to me looked at me as if I really was as stupid as I felt and replied matter-of-factly, Because he knows you won’t sleep with him and turned and walked away.

Whoa.  Okay, let me just die and then ask you to repeat that to make sure I heard you right, I thought with my jaw agape.

The roseless ceremony was over, and the group of amused teens dispersed.  I was left standing completely alone, in the dark, behind the dugout, stunned and speechless.

I had just found out, very publicly I might add, that my label as a virgin was not a good thing.  I found out that it made me lose the guy I really liked and that none of my peers supported me.  As I walked away alone, I tried to figure out how he knew.  I am a Christian, but the topic of virginity never came up to me by him or anyone.  At fourteen, I didn’t understand the powerful impact that personal convictions can have on others – when not one word about it had been spoken.

My knee-jerk reaction, of course, was to move, change schools, change my name, dye my hair, and never ever mention this moment again.  But, something surprising happened instead.  God showed up – in the dark on the baseball field on a Friday night.  How do I know He did?  Because He gave me eyes to see a perspective I was completely unable to see on my own.

All of a sudden, my heart saw that the guy that made me weak in the knees had shown his true colors.  He wasn’t looking for someone to have a meaningful relationship with, to care about, have fun with and get to know better.  He was looking for sex.  And with that, he was looking at me as someone who potentially could give that to him.  He didn’t care about who I was, my thoughts and opinions, or what makes me laugh or cry – I was seen as a tool for his selfishness.  Oh, that changed everything.  This great-looking guy suddenly didn’t look so good to me.  In that moment, I realized my firm position in that I was not going to ever allow myself to be seen as a tool.  He had separated body from mind and spirit when choosing a girlfriend, and now I wanted no part of it.

God reminded me that I am all three (mind, spirit, and body), as much as anyone else.  I am valuable.  Priceless.  Important.  Significant.  I am worth the wait.

I saw that the amount of value I had put on this guy was not returned, but God loved me before I ever called Him my God.  God, indeed, is the polar opposite – loving me unconditionally, not for what I can do, but for who I am to Him.  His child.  His daughter.  Princess in His royal line.  Forgiven.  Beautiful.  The passion of His heart.  I saw the experience with this guy for the shallow, superficial event that it was, and I chose to walk in the Truth that I am worth dying for.  So are you.

All labels have a cause and effect.  I can’t think of one label that is 100% risk-free.  Teens who choose to be abstinent walk a difficult (but not impossible!) road.  However, it’s a sacred road that spares them from unnecessary physical, mental and emotional drama that is tied to promiscuity.

Do I regret that night?  Nope.  The Teen Creed offers an excellent piece of advice, Stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.  I had fallen for a guy for sure, but after his quick exit from my life, it was God who was there to pick me up, brush off my knees and put my dignity back together like Humpty Dumpty.

I wasn’t ashamed of the label that was pinned on me that night instead of a rose.  Actually, I was secretly glad that not only did this guy know where I stood in my convictions, but others did as well – without me ever having said it.  This experience spurred in me a stubbornness to be resolute in my convictions until my wedding day.  I was never going to set myself up to feel like a faceless, nameless tool again. And, perhaps it helped encourage other girls standing around that they too could make the precious choice of abstinence and save themselves the grief.

Regardless of your yesterday, you have the freedom to choose your actions today.  Although this guy never gave me another chance (nor did I want one), God is the God of second, tenth, and a thousand chances.  More than giving me a rose, God gave His Son for me – and for you.  Now that is true love.

<<Check out the companion song to this blog on my Tunes page!>>

Count your blessings

I took a chance yesterday and posted the funk I’ve been in lately.  For the rest of the day, an old truth mulled around in my mind.  When we’re down about something, the way to dig ourselves out of the pit is to help someone else and/or count our blessings.

While looking for an opportunity to help someone, the neatest surprise came my way.  I was in a store visiting a friend who worked there.  I had my kids and dog with me, when the door chimed that a new customer had entered.  I turned to see a young mom, her mom, and her special needs son in a stroller.  My dog caught his eye.

I saw him reaching out for her, so I knelt down beside the stroller, with his mom smiling and looking on, and held my dog near him so they could meet.  She was pleased to make his acquaintance (she’s so good with kids!), and it made him happy to pet her.  A simple pleasure – it totally brightened my day! 🙂

A while later, noticing a napkin lying on my car seat, I fetched a pen from the bottom of my purse, and began writing down the blessings I have received in the last 24 hours.  At red lights, in check out lines, waiting to pick up the kids, I wrote everything that came to mind and heart throughout the day.  In doing so, the heavy load I am carrying seemed a lot lighter.  Even dare I say, doable!

Between the precious friend my dog and I met and my blessings list, my perspective on the day did a 180.  You know, God could’ve been the parent we children want to avoid by lecturing me for how good my life is, how easy I have it, or how thankful I should be.  That approach seems to quickly be tuned out by kids of all ages.  Instead, He gently, tenderly reminded me of all the ways He is working in my life, for my good, while I run my race, by bringing the blessings of the day to the forefront of my attention.

24 hours of blessings:

* I was involved in a near miss between two vehicles – if one had hit the other, the large SUV would’ve slammed right into me.  Thankfully, no harm no foul (other than a near panic attack for me as I was driving our car that is on its last leg and this would’ve done it in!).

* After a trip to the pediatrician yesterday, my daughter, in fact, does NOT have a burst ear drum from screaming too loud on a roller coaster on our trip!

* As of 1:30am this morning, our taxes are done!!

* I have a husband willing to stay up, after a long workday, to do our taxes – yeah!!  Thank you!

* Received news that our beloved, extended family’s flight landed safe & sound.

* A hearty laugh with an old friend.

* When getting the van inspected yesterday, we were surprised that they also washed and detailed it – inside and out – for no extra charge.  Nice!

* Enjoyed a beautiful family walk under sunny, blue skies and a brisk breeze.

* I have the health to take a walk.

* The kindness of two strangers who stopped traffic to let me pull into the school parking lot this morning at the last minute so my son wouldn’t be late.

* Heard my teenage daughter’s favorite worship song on the radio, “How He loves me” by David Crowder Band and thought about how this song sings of God’s loves for us – and that my baby girl knows, believes, and accepts His radical love for her.  Oh, how that warms my heart.

* My youngest son surprised me with a rare, guilty pleasure – strawberry milk.  And, he served it in my favorite blue glass…with a smile…just because he wanted to.

* How glad my dog is to see me after our trip.  She is my shadow and literally smiles at me when I walk into the room.

* My oldest teenage son still comes to me for hugs every day. 🙂

* A good night’s sleep!!

* Read a new letter from our Compassion daughter in Asia and heard how well she is doing.  I love the picture she drew of her family!

* The joy of watching my daughter and our dog play hide-and-seek.  Yes, my daughter really taught her how to play this game and they love it.  Too cute!

* Took a moment to enjoy watching the first chipmunk of the season scurry off with a nut.  Aww.

* Had the privilege to attend mid-week church services without the threat of political or religious persecution or harassment.

* Thanking God for those in the military who, past and present, have given their time, energy and lives for our religious freedom.

* Met with an AMAZING group of women last night.  I am inspired and encouraged by their stories, their hearts, and the beauty of God in them.

* All chicks are back in my nest.

Blessed indeed.  It’s good to stop and give God due recognition for the blessings He gives us every day.  Like my mom always said, If you have the choice to laugh or cry…laugh.  Mom, you were right.

Old House, New Heart

Ephesians 3:20-21 – Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.

What a week!  Our family has really enjoyed getting away and seeing dear family and friends.  There were many joys experienced and memories made, but one in particular stands out for me.

We had just gotten into town, and I wanted to show the kids my childhood home.  We slowly drove down the familiar street, looking at all of the houses to see which ones were original, remodeled, or torn down and replaced.  My house was at the end of the street.  I was nervous to look.  After my mom died, I had no dad to care for me, so legally I had to move out of my home because I was a minor.  From there, the house fell into disrepair by renters; then it was sold and was completely let go.  It has been years since I had seen it, but the last time I did it was downright painful to look at it.  Shudders hanging on by one nail, paint chipped off, the yard a disaster of weeds and dirt.  There was nothing at all maintained, much less nice, about my old home.  I could only imagine what the inside looked like.

My mom’s words from over two decades ago haunted me, This is the only house I will ever own.  I plan to live here until I die.  Her terminal illness cut that vision short, but I knew what she meant.  Now, her azaleas were gone; her one beloved rose bush was gone; the quaint white ranch house with black shudders was a wreck.  It would’ve broken her heart.  I thought about the “weed parties” she made us do as kids pulling up weeds for hours; roller skating on the driveway; garage sales under the carport; Sunday afternoons on the back porch reading the paper in her church dress and house slippers; first-day-of-school pictures at the back door; birthday parties; watching the royal wedding live on her 13” color television in her bedroom; my great-grandmother’s vintage furniture in our living room; Christmases; Saturday morning cartoons;  trick-or-treating; Friday night pizza; good times with friends and family – our house was truly a home.

The last time I saw it, it was in shambles.  Although it is just a structure, its poor estate gripped my heart because it was quite symbolic of my life in the aftermath of the extreme continuum of overwhelming tragedies that befell our small family.  Parked outside several years ago, I simply stared at a house that reflected so much of how I felt for years – unloved, forgotten, left behind, rejected, uncared for – a mess on the outside and vacant on the inside. Indeed, the world had moved on, but I was stuck with a heart and life in disrepair…just like my old home.

Through the years, however, God redeemed my life.  He gave me a faithful, loving husband, amazing children, and friends that are nothing short of hand-picked by Him for me.  I put in a lot of homework to grieve and move to the next season God had prepared for me.  It was hard work.  Really hard.  God put just the right people in my path to help me through a maze of mourning, and little-by-little the healing began.  Today, and for many years now, I am healed, whole and am fully embracing the abundant life Jesus spoke of in John 10:10.  I’m in a better place than I’ve ever been in my life, and I have often thought of my old home and wondered if it, too, survived.

Last week, my family warily drove toward my house.  My heart pounded and palms sweated.  Could I handle what I was about to see?  I had no idea.  We pulled up to find a delightful surprise!  It looked great!  It had a fresh coat of paint, shudders hung proudly, new roof, new fence, new driveway, and cut grass.  The old pines were gone and landscape beds were healthy and blooming.  I got out of the van to take a closer look.  My husband took my picture in the front yard.  I smiled as I told the kids about Mom’s rose bush and azaleas, where I roller skated, and named the trees in the backyard that we could see peeking over the fence (I gave our trees names when I was a child).

I took a deep breath and stared at the door.  It was the same red door with fresh, glossy paint.  I turned to my husband and said, I have to.  He knew what I was talking about because he knows me that well.  I have to knock on the door, I said.  Go for it, he encouraged.  I walked up the steps to the door.  The kids and he followed behind.  Ding dong the doorbell rang.

A young mom cracked open the door, looking wary at five strangers on her front stoop.  A young girl hid behind her leg, quizzically peeking at us.  Hi, I began with a big smile.  You don’t know me, but I used to live here. I grew up in this house, I explained.  Oh, she said, a little taken aback.  I just wanted to tell you how beautiful your house is.  The last time I saw it, it was in disrepair.  It’s so great to see it cared for and loved.  The little girl stepped forward and invited us in.  I politely pretended not to hear and just smiled.

We heard a man in the background mumble something, and the young mom surprisingly said, My husband said you all are welcome to come in.  I nearly jumped for joy!  But, I held my composure, Are you sure?  I know it’s dinnertime I said as we smelled food wafting from the open door.  Yes, we’re sure, she replied with a smile.  Thank you so much!  I said eagerly.

She opened the door and we stepped inside.  It was the first time in what felt like forever since I had walked into my home.  It was very different.  Walls were changed, an addition on the back, new kitchen, but it felt quite familiar nonetheless.  They let us walk through every room, and I was able to tell my kids which rooms were which – including my old bedroom.  Although it had changed inside my heart’s eyes saw it just the way it used to be.  This is where the Christmas tree went.  This used to be a back porch.  There was a door here.  I had so much fun reliving the memories.

I was aware of their dinner waiting on the table, so we didn’t stay long.  But, we had great conversation with the new owners about the history of the house.  I filled in historical gaps, and so did they.  Together, we painted a complete picture.

Complete.  That’s exactly the way I feel.  Not only did I get to see the outside of my house beautiful again, the inside was as well.  In fact, it looked even better than before.  The mom apologized for seeming standoffish at the door.  I reassured her that our spontaneous visit was unusual.  We made new friends that day.  Ironically, she said, It’s funny.  I never ever answer the door.  I don’t know why I did this time.  I know why.  God planned this divine appointment.

I got the closure I have looked for all these years.  The house is a home again.  A young family is filling its walls with new memories and lots of love.

A second chance.  That’s what my house got – and I did, too.  My old house was once a vibrant, fun place to be.  It suffered a huge loss and spiraled downward for many years.  Then, someone came along and decided it was worth something and should not be torn down for a bigger, newer model.  Sure enough, a young family agreed and is taking tender care of it.   That’s pretty much my story… and that someone was God.  He told me I was worth redeeming, not letting life utterly demolish me.  He gave me a second chance with a precious family of my own.

I feel like my home finally got the happily-ever-after that I was granted.

When we began our trip, we had no idea this was going to happen.  Oh, but God did.  Don’t you know He counted the minutes until our van pulled up to the front yard.  I can see it now…God shushed the angels as I approached the front door.  With His hands grasping the arms of His throne, elbows high in the air, and eyes looking downward upon the earth, He leaned forward and said under His breath,  Wait for it.  Wait for it – as the doorbell rang.  Yes?  the mom said from the beginning…God, quite pleased with Himself, sat back with His hands folded on His lap and grinned as He watched everything play out.

Had He not nudged me to ring the doorbell, I still would’ve had the blessing of seeing the exterior of my yard and home being well-cared for, but I would’ve missed the enormous blessing of being able to walk through it and seeing for myself that all has turned out beautifully.  If we take a step of faith (literally!) and ask Him for what we normally wouldn’t dare, who knows – our request may just be granted!

What big thing would you like to ask God for today?  Do you believe He is able answer it?  Are you willing to step out and ask?  God knows best, and He loves giving good gifts to His children.  Step out today and ask.  You just never know what door may open.

Holy Week, Sunday

Wow.  We’ve waited all week for this day!  Hallelujah, Christ has risen!  I’m glad you are back.  Yesterday’s blog was a rough read, but we made it through some tough questions and the gruesome reality of Christ’s death.  Today, we get to celebrate our Risen Savior!  Read the Good News with me below…

Matthew 28: 1-6

1After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. 2 There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4 The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men. 5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 
1 Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. 2So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!” 3 So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. 4 Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5 He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, 7 as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus’ head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. 8 Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. 9 (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) 10 Then the disciples went back to their homes, 11 but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. 13 They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”  “They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” 14 At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. 15 “Woman,” he said, “why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”  Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”  16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.”  She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher). 17 Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” 18 Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.

Jesus fulfilled every prophecy about Himself in the Old Testament.  He came.  He saw.  He conquered!  We now have the privilege of eternal life with Jesus -the Rock who totally rocks!!

Enjoy this day!  If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, rest in the blessed assurance, the promise, of all of the good things to come in heaven where thieves cannot steal and rust and moths cannot destroy.  Both now and forever we will never again experience separation from God.  Our sins have been pardoned, and the debt we owed has been paid.  We are free to enjoy an abundant life!  More than what I could write today, I want to offer Jesus’ own prayer for you.  A prayer He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane right before He was arrested.  Sit back.  Breathe deeply.  Breathe in the words of our living, risen Christ.  His prayer for you and for me…

John 17: 20-26 – Jesus prayers for all believers

20 “My prayer is not for (the disciples) alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.   24 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.   25 “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26 I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

Jesus – our King, Savior, Brother, Friend.  He is awesome, mighty and loving.  Commune with Him today.  Thank Him for His sacrifice.  Praise Him for His works.  Worship Him for who He is.  Remember your roots today.  As a believer, our lives are not our own.  We have been bought with a price; ransomed from death; saved from our sins.  As Paul wrote in Galatians…

Galatians 2:20 – I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 

As we move about our day today and for all of our days to come, we need to think, speak and behave as those who really are citizens of another Kingdom; not of this world.  We should be different from the world, so others look at us and wonder what it is that we have – indeed it is Christ’s salvation that we should share.  I recall something Priscilla Shirer once said in a Bible study.  She quoted her father’s words, which are so fitting for today.  Remember who you are – and Whose you are.  

We carry the cross in our hearts and it should remain on our minds.  We have also been given the freedom to radically enjoy this life that God has planned for us.  Let’s thank our Lord Jesus for all He suffered through and for keeping His promise and rising from the dead.  He is the real deal.  He is King of kings and Lord of lords.  Praise Him!  Happy Easter! 🙂

<<Check out the companion songs to this blog on my Tunes page!>>

Holy Week, Saturday

Yesterday we reflected on the brutal murder of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Despite what the people thought they were accomplishing, let’s not forget Jesus offered Himself as a sacrifice.

John 10: 17-18, The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.

Today, Holy Week Saturday, there is a strange air stirring around us.  Like watching for a tornado or hurricane, the sense of impending doom is thick.  Eerie.  Deafeningly silent.  Because this time two thousand years ago, Christ was dead.

Before the clock ticks forward, I have to back up for a second.  People like to talk about who they would like to meet in Heaven.  I have a few people for sure.  One of them is lesser known than the other high-profile Bible names.  Enter Joseph of Arimathea.  He was rich.  He was a Jew and a member of the Sanhedrin; and he had become a disciple of Christ – a scandalous thing for a Jewish priest to do.

After Jesus died, Joseph approached Pilate and asked for Jesus’ body to give Him a proper burial on Friday night so as to avoid having His lifeless body hang there on the Sabbath.  Pilate granted his request.

Matthew 27: 59-60 – Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away.

When I get to Heaven, I would really like to talk to Joseph.  Think about it, he had accepted Christ as His Savior.  The same Savior whom He was about to bury.  How must it have felt to bury one’s Savior?  The cross was a gruesome scene.  Joseph himself took Jesus down off of it.  That must have been a horrific task.  After the 39 lashes, chunks of skin and meat must have fallen off of Jesus as Joseph navigated His body down from the cross.  How did Joseph release Jesus’ hands and feet from the nails driven through them that sealed them to the cross?  Did he drive the nails back through Jesus’ flesh?  Joseph surely was a bloody mess from handling Jesus’ body.  Did he wash his clothes and wear them again, or did He never wash or wear them again out of respect and as a reminder of what Jesus endured?  Hmm.

When Joseph wrapped Jesus’ body in the linen, his hands surely dug into the insides of Jesus that were exposed from the flogging.  Recall that Jesus was unrecognizable – His face deformed from the swelling of His beard being plucked out, flesh missing, His body covered in dirt and blood.  What was it like for Joseph to remove the crown of thorns that had been gouged into Jesus’ head?  There must have been some small sense of satisfaction to undo the ridicule that the people had done to Jesus.  A feeling of justice for a dead man.  Did some of the thorns stick in His head and need to be hand-plucked like a mother removes a splinter from her child – careful, tenderly, in love?  Are you  still reading?  Can we stomach it?  I don’t think I can find words to understand what Joseph was feeling.  Every drop of blood shed, every point of agony Jesus suffered was for Joseph – and for you and me.  Joseph must have felt like an accomplice to the crime, since it was his sin, like everyone else’s, that cost Jesus His innocent life.  I know I do.

Jesus was wrapped and placed in Joseph’s personal tomb.  A boulder was rolled in front of it, symbolizing the finality of it all.  Joseph went away.  Did he go home?  Did he go pray in the temple?  Did he take a long, sobering walk lamenting over the day’s events?  So many, many questions.

I’m not the only one with questions.  Think about the disciples.  Could they be more confused?  Bewildered?  They thought Jesus was going to rebuild Jerusalem and they would be right there as His biggest campaign supporters.  Jesus was gone and so was their hope, dreams, and both their religious and political vision.  The disciples were gone, too.  All of them dispersed in utter confusion and fear.  Were they next?  Would they be hunted down and killed for following Jesus?  Not now.  Not yet.

One person stands out among the fleeing disciples.  Peter.  Always full of words and a dose of emotion, Peter was zealous, impulsive and at times he didn’t know when to stop talking.  Such was not the case at this point.  In fact, he tried hard to blend in and not say a word.  This, the same man who cut off a solider’s ear in haste in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Now, Peter wasn’t doing the talking – unless it was to deny Christ, his Savior – just as Christ had told him he would do.

Luke 22:54-62

54 Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. 55 But when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. 56A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.” 57 But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said. 58 A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.”   “Man, I am not!” Peter replied. 59 About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.” 60 Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. 61 The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times. 62 And he went outside and wept bitterly. 
Peter catches a lot of flack for his impulsive actions and chatty tongue.  However, are we much different?  How quick are we to disown Jesus when pushed into a corner?  Peer pressure at work, school, and in the neighborhood can tempt us to blend in like Peter tried to do.  Tough moral choices seep into the private parts of our hearts and whisper to us to follow the road more widely traveled.  Sometimes our faith is called out in front of many people when we are the only person against whatever everyone else is doing that we know is wrong.  Sometimes we are all alone, thinking no one knows but us what we are  contemplating.  Oh, but we are not alone.  God is watching.  He is not sitting on His throne with bulging bloodshot eyes, lightening bolt in hand – ready to strike us down.  He is cheering for us to make the right decision.  He sent His Holy Spirit to guide and direct us down the right path.  Jesus, our High Priest, always intercedes on our behalf.  We have all of Heaven watching and waiting and supporting us in the right thing!  So why do we feel so alone?  Like Peter.

The disciples didn’t understand Jesus’ teaching on raising the temple in three days.  They were looking with their physical eyes at physical structures.  No.  The temple was standing right in front of them – talking to them.  They knew not, and their hopes were dashed.

Have you ever felt that way?  Your world just fell apart, yet you are stuck living in it like be being trapped in a house of mirrors.  I have.  What do we do?  When things are at their very worst, do we accept or deny Christ?  If we look deeper at Peter, later, when Jesus had risen and was reinstating Peter back into the fellowship, Peter said he loved Jesus.  I believed he loved Him all along.  In the moment when Peter was warming himself by the fire, he was scared half to death.  He was in shock, confused, angry, frustrated, and probably sick to his stomach after watching his beloved Savior be snatched in the night like a common criminal.  Still, Peter denied Christ.

Today, let us inventory our hearts and expose the areas that we have denied Christ.  For some, you have never accepted Him.  Will you today?  In the figurative hour of Christ’s death – His body lying in the tomb, do you believe?  After all, we know the ending of the book – Christ indeed rises from the dead.  And we will celebrate that tomorrow with thankful, joyful hearts!  But, if you have never accepted Him as your personal Savior, you will not be at the party.  Easter dinner may be enjoyed, perhaps the Easter Bunny will have hopped to your house, and there may be family to share the day with, but this is your time to make it personal – to make Jesus Christ personal to you and become your Savior.

Jesus says in Revelation 3:20, Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

How?  Romans 10:9-13, That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Perhaps you need to be reinstated?  Once saved, we never lose our salvation.  Nothing and no one can take it away from us, but perhaps you have made decisions that have denied Christ and led your life away from Him.  Christ wants you back.  He misses you.  God and Jesus have never ever stopped loving you.  There is nothing we have done that is beyond their reach.  Today, right now, listen to the One who calls you by name.  Are you wondering if the choices you’ve made have been even too much for God to love you, want you?  Read below the words of Jesus Himself…

Luke 15: 17-24  (Read the entire parable in Luke 15: 11-32)

17 “When (the lost son) came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.

   “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

   21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[a]’

   22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

Did you know that in their day, a rich father would have never ran like that?  It was undignified!  When we understand the context of the parable, we are even more amazed at God’s love for us.  God and Jesus are not concerned with human standards – they love you and want you to come back to the family.  Will you?  As a believer, you’ve never stopped being part of the family…but you’ve been terribly missed.  How can you be brought back?

1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Today, we wait in eager anticipation for tomorrow’s celebration.  It’s not too late to join the party.  I pray you will.

Let’s put ourselves in the disciples’ shoes throughout today, feeling the despair they felt.  But, let’s also set our hearts up for a massive celebration that tomorrow will bring – and in fact, already brought two thousand years ago.  I’m smiling already.  But for now, as we lay out church clothes and look over the Easter menu’s shopping list, let’s not overlook what this day was for the disciples and those who believed.  It is bittersweet indeed.

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Holy Week, Friday

Today is Good Friday. It’s hard to believe we are already at this point in 2012. This day signifies the darkest hour in Christ’s ministry on earth. Can we truly comprehend what He went through for us? I don’t think so.

Throughout the ages, Christ’s crucifixion has been painted, sketched, and sculpted. It has been expressed in a variety of artistic expressions such as Broadway plays, reenactments, movies, etc. Even in the most graphic of depictions, we still cannot grasp the true measure of horror He sustained out of love for us.

His beard was plucked out. He received 39 lashes (40 was considered a legal death) with tortuous whips and the like. He was humiliated, called names and spat upon. He was lied about, falsely testified against, denied by His people and abandoned by His friends. His hands and feet were nailed to wood. A crown of thorns was gouged into his head. He was stripped naked. He was laughed at, beaten, and beaten some more. He was plotted against, sold for 30 pieces of silver and traded for a murderous madman who won Christ’s innocent freedom. He was given an unfair trial, used as a political pawn, and His holy Kingship was made a public spectacle. He was offered bitter gall instead of water. He was forced to carry His own death contraption. He was denied food, sleep and fair representation. His clothes were gambled for, and He was sarcastically dared to save Himself. He was speared in His side. He was disrespected, despised, and dishonored. He neither fought back nor said a word in His own defense. He was mission-minded, solely focused on this purpose…obeying His Father and ransoming us with His blood.

These are only some of the agonies and sufferings Christ endured for us – you and me. How bad was it? So horrible that Jesus even asked God to allow Him to not to have to endure it. How loving and perfect is Jesus? He finished His request by submitting to God’s will despite knowing all that was about to take place.

Imagine what it must have looked like in the unseen realm. Picture the heavenly angels’ jaws agape as they watched helplessly on the sideline – just waiting for Jesus to give them the call to action. Picture the accuser and his minions cheering and jeering and mocking and taunting. Oh how silent Heaven must have been. How God must have agonized over watching His one and only perfect Son be the final blood sacrifice. He who didn’t deserve it in the least. Finally, God turns away – from Jesus. They have been in communion together since before time began, and now Jesus hangs alone on the cross – and He knows it. He was utterly, entirely, completely alone. Left to die. Yes, a few stood at a distance, but no one was beside Him holding His hand, stroking His cheek, kissing His brow. He hung alone. He, who is innocent, died a criminal’s death.

As He hung in the open air, carnivorous, scavenging birds circling His above His head, the world went about its business, feeling quite satisfied at the conclusion of His life. I think one thing that kept Him there, instead of calling the whole thing off in an instant (which He could’ve easily done!), was the thought of each of us. Did our faces pass through His mind? As He felt the weight of all of humankind’s sins press upon his shoulders, physically pushing down on the skin of His hands and feet, He knew every sin of every person throughout existence would commit. Did it all flash before His blood and sweat-stained eyes? Oh, the shame of it all.

But, did our faces also flash before Him? Did He feel a tug in His heart for us? I think so. He did not die quickly. He hung for hours. In those hours, did He remember our names? The Bible speaks of God remembering His children, having our names written on the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:16), and keeping us as the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8). Jesus, who is 100% God and 100% man, perhaps whispered our names under His breath This is for you, ________. Oh, the love of it all.

Scripture tells us that He didn’t even look human by the time it was finished. He was, indeed, unrecognizable. It hurts my head to try to comprehend it.

Today, wherever you are and whatever you are doing – hold Christ close to your heart knowing He went through everything so you wouldn’t have to. Yes, He loves you and me that much. Focus on what He did and why He did it. There is no skirting this dark day. As uncomfortable as it may be to go there in our minds, may our hearts receive the Truth that He would have done it all – even if each of us were the only person ever created.

Walk through Good Friday remembering Christ’s walk to the cross.

Scripture to meditate on…

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Matthew 26 – 28

Mark 14 – 16

Luke 22 – 24

John 17 – 21

Isaiah 53:1-9 …

Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression[a] and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken.[b]
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

<;<;Check out the companion songs to this blog on my Tunes page!>;>;