Tag Archives: faith

Psalm 23…Kenyan Style

Like visiting the home where we grew up, or seeing an old friend, sometimes reading classic Scripture hits the spot.  It’s familiar – like favorite coffee, summer rain or old slippers.  Through the memories of all of the times I’ve heard or read the 23rd Psalm, I am brought to a place of peace, tranquility and rejuvenation.  Today, I’ve put this Scripture to our Kenya photos so it can be enjoyed from a visual perspective.  Have a wonderful day!

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me,

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

A Little Gift for You and Me

Well, okay.  This morning began with 4 separate problems, one of which could turn out to be expensive seeing as the kids’ goo play stuff was accidentally put into a food storage container, which was accidentally ran through the dishwasher, and now said goo stuff is all over the dishes and hopefully won’t gum up our plumbing lines.  No Internet, no phone service.  Someone used the toaster oven and didn’t see special plastic ware temporarily placed on top of it, thus the plastic ware I needed melted.  I could go on, but why bore you with details!

I am grateful for the big stuff like my husband’s flight landed safely last night, and we are all in good health, but boy howdy the small stuff in life deflates me!

Once upon a time, I went to my doctor because I kept getting a tingling sensation in my hands.  Her solution was simple…breathe.  I guess when life gets its panties in a wad, I forget to breathe properly.  Later, this little gem was discovered in a small store and knew it was a perfect reminder!

Looking down this morning beside my computer, staring glassy-eyed at the “no Internet access” window, I saw this little reminder below.  I’m using it today and am gifting it’s message to you as well, in case you’ve got a gooey dishwasher, or a banged up bumper from being rear-ended, or a cracked windshield from a dump truck’s loose rocks, or a mysteriously defrosting refrigerator, or anything else we share in common.

Need it today?  Feel free to use it. 🙂

I’m making my order a combo and bundling this message to breathe with today’s devotion from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. (Spoken from Jesus’ perspective) “Approach each day with desire to find Me…There are hidden treasures strategically placed along the way…some treasures are trials…others are blessings that reveal My Presence…I have not abandoned this sin-wracked world; I am still richly present in it.  Search…and you will find Me along the way.”

Today doesn’t have to be a total loss just because of a rocky start.  Neither does my attitude.  March on,we will, with Philippians 4:13 as our battle cry – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Ready?  Let’s go!

Hands That Hold

Photo via case.edu

I saw a familiar sight as I walked out of the grocery store.  A dad and his daughter, no more than three years old, simply talking while walking to their car with groceries in hand. However, just as I glanced over, she began to pitch a monumental fit!  Arms flailing, crying, screaming-she threw herself on the ground.

My very first thought was, Boy am I glad my kids are past that stage!  Ha!

I was curious as to how the dad would respond.  With a bag of groceries in his left hand, he reached down with his right arm and picked his daughter up and carried her, barrel-style, all the way to the car.  I was memorized at how calm, cool and collected he was.  He didn’t lash out or yell or anything.  He also knew better than to try to reason with a three year-old in this state. He simply picked her up and walked on with her under his arm as she continued to fuss and flail.

My second thought was, Wow, that dad is amazing!  He didn’t even flinch.  

God spoke to me and said, Look familiar?

Yes, indeed, I snickered.  I remember those days with my kids like it was yesterday.

I’m not talking about your kids.  I’m talking about you, He whispered.

Oh my!  He was right.  There have been times in my life when God needed to intervene for my good even when I disagreed.  No discussion.  No reasoning.  Just action on His part in response to mine.  Whether I am overwhelmed with emotion, or so busy I can’t clearly think things through, God never gets flustered.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8).

Would it have been okay for that dad to have driven off in frustration and left his toddler in the parking lot?  Would it have been okay to let her have her way and stay lying on the ground in the middle of the road with cars coming and going?  Would he have really had been able to articulate all the reasons why she needed to get up and move to safety?  Not in that moment. This dad acted in her best interest even though she didn’t understand or agree with his response.

I am so thankful that God does the same for us.  He sees the bigger picture and understands situations far better than we do.  When circumstances arise that we fall apart over, God is still on His throne and is able to make decisions based on what’s best for us-even if we’re throwing a fit on the inside.  Even if it means He must proverbially pick us up and remove us from the situation whether we think we know what we want or not and regardless if we think we know what’s best for us at the moment.

His hands are strong.  His heart is loving.  His mind is omnipotent.  Even when we falter and lose our senses, He is still in control.  There is a time for everything.  A time to discipline.  A time to discuss.  And a time to simply act on our behalf.

Below are some photos I’ve taken that remind me of His hands, His wisdom and His love for us. May we be able to walk obediently with God today.  And if not, may He know when we need to be picked up and carried.

The LORD answered Job… and said, “Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’?  Job 38: 1, 8-11

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Matthew 6:26

…See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  Matthew 6:28-30

(Creation You have made) all looks to you to give them their food at the proper time.  When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things. Psalm 104:27-28

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Psalm 19:1

<<Check out the companion song to this post on my Tunes page!>>

Prettier Ribbons

Photo via Maxmedals.com

Yesterday, my kids and I walked past a store front that boasted contestants’ winning art from a statewide contest.  The handcrafted works were impressive.  So were the brightly colored, shiny ribbons that hung from them.

Ironically, this was the same contest my tween son entered via a different organization.  He won several ribbons of his own for his work. (Mom blushes) However, as we gazed at the artwork, he said with disappointment, Those are prettier ribbons than mine.  It made me double-take a glance at the ribbons, bewildered as to what he saw that was so special in them.

My young tween competed against kids from all over the state up to 12th grade.  It was a super great day for him because he worked so hard on his projects.  And, if I may add, they were done without an iota of parent help (except with the electric saw that he’s not allowed to use).

However, after admiring these ribbons, his bubble of excitement and enthusiasm over his own ribbons popped because of how he compared these to his own.  There wasn’t anything I could say.  His ribbons now seemed inferior.

His reaction really made me stop and think about how I respond to life’s ribbons.  You know, people’s accolades, winks of approval, and (for some) tangible awards like bonuses, trophies and certificates.  Oh, and pretty ribbons.

We can work ourselves to the bone, and feel really good about what we’ve accomplished, but all of our sense of self-worth tanks with a casual shrug, a word of mediocracy, a glance of semi-approval, or worse – no comment at all! – by an objective onlooker who gives great praise to another for their work.

It is one thing to be an active part of community, and therefore give our best effort to the task. It’s another thing to place our value, self-esteem, significance, and entire sense of accomplishment in comparison to others’ accolades.

The day my son received his awards, he was humbly overjoyed!  I took a photograph of him with the ribbons hung from his ears and fingers so we could get them all in the shot.  Now, his seem tarnished, less significant, to him.

It makes me wonder, whose approval do we seek?  Others’, ourselves’, or God’s?  God is pretty clear about how He feels on the subject of hard work.

And whatever you do,whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men…Colossians 3:23

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 (The Apostle Paul)

As someone who struggles with her self-esteem, I must fight against finding my validation in anyone but Christ.  He is my audience of One in my heart, but my head doesn’t always reflect this truth.  I compare myself to others.  Wow, she’s accomplished.  Look at her career!  Or, She always has it together, I wish I could be like her.  Or how about, If I only looked like this woman, was as articulate as this other woman, and was as smart as this other woman, I’d be the total package. Then there is the whisper in my mind, If only I could do my job like her, and be noticed by them, then I will have finally made it!

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Mark 8:36

Whose standard am I measuring myself against?  Is God looking down at me and constantly thinking these same inferior thoughts about me?  I think not!  He created all of us differently, for unique purposes on this earth.  If He says we are doing a good job, a great job!,  then that should be enough – no matter how shiny the other person’s ribbons may seem.  When we’ve done something we know He asked us to do – be it a good, honest day’s work or something extraordinary in our daily grind – it should be enough to hear His words, Well done, good and faithful servant.  It is… more than enough.

Today, I’m putting blinders over my heart when I see other people’s pretty ribbons.  I’ll congratulate them on a great job, but I will remind myself that was their job – not mine – good for them.  For me, I will seek only the smile on my Master’s face as my greatest reward. Anything else attained is all glory to Him. Ribbons or no ribbons, prettiest or not, I will sleep well at night knowing I did my best.  It’s all we’ve ever asked of our children, and it’s all God has asked of me, too.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21


Crossroads of trust

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You may buy prints or posters from zeitspuren.deviantart.com Kind regards Martin Liebermann license@martin-liebermann.de http://www.martin-liebermann.de

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

What do we do when something unexpected comes up in our lives?  We didn’t ask for it, nor are prepared for it.  It’s not necessarily a bad thing, and could even be a good thing, but because we didn’t write it on our agenda it shakes us up.  How do we make decisions about it?  How do we pray about it?

I am extremely purpose-driven.  I took a personality test many years ago that nailed me.  It said that if I believe in something, I will give it my 100%.  But, if I don’t believe in it, then I find it nearly impossible to do it.  Oh my!  This test was so right!  It explains all of the decisions I’ve made in my life.

As manager of our house (my husband is the leader, but I manage most of the daily affairs), I project, plan and prepare.  Those three p’s keep our home running smoothly most of the time. Then, the unexpected happens.  How do I handle it?  Where does it fit?  How does it fit?  Can I support it? Believe in it?  Do it?

The bigger question, is…do I believe He who is over all things in my life? If something is from God, whether I exepcted it or not, or wanted it or not, I must trust Romans 8:28,

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Ouch.  There it is.  His purposes – not mine.  I’ll be honest and say some things have come up that have altered my agenda.  Some I see as good. Some not so good.  And some – I don’t know how I feel about them yet.

I get all twisted up when trying to manage an agenda that has question marks written all over the plans.  I try to think of every possible scenario of how these unknowns fit into our family’s puzzle.  I can’t.  I don’t have all of the information.  That really bothers me!  I am a big-picture girl.  Let me see the end product, and then we can work out a plan to get there.

This thinking is seldom how God operates.  Why?  Because if we could see the bigger picture, #1 we may or may not like what we see and therefore we will either bulldoze the quickest path to the outcome or be purposefully disobedient to stave it off.  Either way, our hands are all over it – not God’s.  #2 – Seeing the bigger picture requires no trust on our part.  Trust draws us near to God.  He didn’t create us to be mindless robots. There are hundreds of decisions we make every day.  But, some stuff requires trust, because trust forces us to pry our hands off of the situation and surrender control.  Ug.  That is hard.

When praying for a friend today, I realized I needed the same prayer!  It went something like this:

Dear Lord, please give my friend eyes to see You, ears to hear You, a mind to understand what You are asking her to do, hands & feet to do it, and a heart to accept it.  Oh, and a big dose of courage would be great, too.

I forget that talking to God about my concerns isn’t necessarily doubting Him.  He is big enough to handle our questions.  He knows our hearts, and therefore He urges us to talk things over with Him.  It’s okay.  He also knows we are human.  Dust breathed to life.  If you’re like me, we shy away from God because approaching Him with feelings, questions, and concerns makes us feel guilty – like we don’t have enough faith.  But, it is times exactly like these that grow our faith.  If we avoid the journey of communicating with God, we miss the opportunity to stretch and strengthen our faith on the path He has chosen for us.

As I was exercising this morning, I talked to God much like I would my husband.  Plain English, nothing fancy, and just told Him my thoughts, concerns, opinions and feelings.  Because of this time with God, I am reminded He is in charge, He loves us, and is working for His glory and our best interest.  And, nothing I talked to Him about is mine to ultimately control and destine. What a weight off of my shoulders!

Believers walk in the path crafted by God.  We didn’t create the path.  We follow it.  May all of us have the courage, strength and audacious faith to take the first step.

The Unexpected Gift

Photo via Droid Wallpapers

I had the privilege of celebrating my son’s 16th birthday this weekend.  Little did we know, this day would change his life forever.

It was a very full day of several events, one of which was my daughter’s soccer game.  My husband and I drove separately with plans to meet at the field.  I had our boys with me.  As we drove to the game, my birthday boy talked on the cell phone to his nana as I approached a busy intersection.  Turning right at the light, we saw a homeless gentleman standing on the corner holding a sign and asking for food.

There was nothing I could do because of the traffic flow.  We were already 20 minutes late to the game, and I wasn’t quite sure where I was even going as this was the first time they’ve played at this field.  Add to that, the concrete medians and turn lanes and lights, and well, this was not something I could easily navigate on the fly.

However, we have gift bags in our van for just such an occasion as running into a person who is homeless.  We keep a laundry basket in the back of the van filled with brightly colored, glossy gift bags with lots of colorful curly ribbon tied to the handle and tissue paper bursting out from the bag.  In the bags, we put soup, water, granola bars, etc. along with encouraging Scripture and a prayer of salvation.  The reason we dress everything up in a gift bag is because we wonder just how long it may have been that someone in this desperate state has received a present.  It has been a joy to hand these out and connect with our community, as well as have deep conversations with our children about our responsibility as believers to help others by being the hands and feet of Christ.

Knowing these bags were in the back made me feel quite guilty that the spontaneity of the moment did not lend itself to give this gentleman one.  My birthday boy finished his phone call with Nana, then began to tell me how we needed to go back to the man.

I was torn between arriving even later at my daughter’s last game before tournament and delivering the gift bag.  I was tired from a very busy week and, well, I came to the end of myself.

I told my son, Tell you what, we’ll drive back the same way after the game and look for him.

My son replied, But we don’t know how long he’s been there.  Maybe a long time.  We should go back now.

Disheartened by my inability to be both places at once, I promised we’d go after the game.  We reached the field, but my son couldn’t let it go.  He is an extremely easy-to-please kind of guy who rarely has strong preferences.  He goes with the flow and has quite a relaxed personality.  But this time, he was insistent.

We really have to go back, Mom, he persisted.  I can’t let this go.

I was a bit baffled at his insistence because we’ve given out many bags and will continue to.  I didn’t understand what was different with my son this time.  We walked down the field, set up our chairs next to my husband’s, and I plopped myself down hoping to stave off a migraine, caused by an impending weather front, that I felt coming on.

Can we leave and come back? he asked.  It won’t take long.  I know I’m supposed to do this.

I’m happy to try look for him on our way home, Honey.  The game won’t be much longer, I replied nursing my headache.

A few moments passed as we watched the game, then he asked again.  Can we go at halftime?

This was really unlike him.  Typically, he is the first to let something go.  A peaceful life is more important to him than pushing his issue.

How about you ask your dad to take you at halftime? I proposed.  My migraine was at the crossroads of either going away or blowing up to epic proportions.

The halftime whistle blew, and my husband and son bolted to the van.  I have no earthly idea why I said this (referring to the gift bags), but before they left, out of my mouth spilled, Why not take two?  I didn’t know if he decided to or not as they drove away.

The second half of the game began, and eventually my husband and son reappeared.  I asked my son, Was he still there?  Did you give him the bag?

Yes and no, he answered.  That made no sense to me.  The situation was either or, so I inquired.

This is what they told me…they drove back to the large intersection, but didn’t see the gentleman.  Disappointed, they crossed the intersection to make a u-turn and return to the game.  Just then, my husband saw the man at a city bus stop out of the corner of his eye.  My two guys devised a plan and as quickly as possible they made the u-turn in hopes of catching up to the man.  As they approached the bus, the man got onto the bus and it drove off.

Arg!  What were they going to do?  They weren’t sure, but they knew they couldn’t give up.  In a split-second decision, they followed the bus many blocks as it bypassed the next five stops.  At the sixth stop, the bus finally stopped.  Our son jumped out of our van and ran toward the bus. A businessman stepped off of the bus, saw my son, and told the bus driver someone was coming and to please wait for him.  She held the bus for my son, and he jumped aboard and asked the bus driver, Can you please wait a second?

He said she looked stunned and confused, but agreed.  Our son walked the aisle of the bus toward the back where the man was sitting.  He approached the man and held out his hand to him and introduced himself with a firm handshake and a big smile.

What did you say? I asked with eager anticipation on the field during the 3rd quarter.

Our son continued, I told him that we saw him earlier, but couldn’t turn around.  That Jesus loved him and wanted him to know that.  Then I gave him the gift bag.  

Okay, hold on a second, I interrupted.  You mean you guys followed the bus several blocks, and you jumped out of our van, ran to the bus, hopped onto the bus and asked the bus driver to hold her schedule and wait for you?  Really? I said with sheer astonishment.  Our son has never done anything this bold before.

What did the man say? What did he do? I asked.

Well, after shaking my hand, he sat there for several seconds – speechless.  He had a blank stare on his face as if in disbelief.  Then, I gave him the bag and his eyes grew huge!  He couldn’t believe it was for him.  He said, “Thanks so much.  I appreciate it.”  Mom, this man shared a seat with his fellow homeless friend.  And…I had two bags.  The other man looked at me kindly and said, “Thank you.” 

My son sat next to me at the game completely sure that this task was the prompting of the Holy Spirit.  We talked about what it felt like to be the hands and feet of Christ, literally.

We knew in our hearts that God had an agenda on this particular day.  He knew this man’s timeline and had a divine appointment with him.  If my husband and son had not ran to the van, or they caught a red light, or simply weren’t looking in the precise direction of the bus, they would have missed him for sure.  It was an almost near-miss, but it wasn’t.  This mission impossible was perfectly executed with a team of players from our little family, to my daughter’s soccer game that was at this time and in this first-ever location, to the clerk who checked out the gift items at the store, to the business man who called out to hold the bus, to the bus driver who let my son hop on momentarily, to the other cars who drove around my husband’s van as he waited on the road behind the bus.  Do you see how extraordinary this ordinary moment was?  The people. The timing.  The whole thing was beyond coincidence.  It was as though it had been rehearsed a million times – yet none of us knew it.  God did.

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost. Luke 19:10

This was no not about my guys, rather what God had on His mind that afternoon.  Even more than receiving the gift bag, this man needed to see God pursue him.  Think about how it would’ve felt for the man to be sitting on the corner holding a sign for food for who knows how long, then ride the bus for several blocks when a teenage stranger jumps on with a colorful, shiny bag and says that he saw him earlier and had this gift for him so they chased the bus down.  I would have been speechless, too!

There was a duel purpose in God’s will that day.  Things could have played out like the other times when we’ve sat at a red light and simply made the acquaintance of someone who needs food and we’ve given them the bag.  No.  Not this time.  God radically pursued this gentleman in a very personal way.

For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. Ezekiel 34:11

We don’t know if this man has ever accepted Christ as his personal Savior, but truly he was sought by God because God allowed everything to work out to the very second.  Whether his soul was lost, or perhaps he just felt lost in society-displaced by circumstance-or lonely. Perhaps he felt lost within himself or separated from family. We don’t know this man’s story, but God moved heaven and earth to be a part of it. 

We may be utterly lost in our lives, in ourselves, and feel completely alone, but we are not.  We are never out of arm’s reach of God who made us, breathed life into us, and sent His Son as the final blood sacrifice for us.  No other god has ever done that.  God’s love is relentless, radical, unconditional and unstoppable.  The choice is ours to accept it.

(The prodigal son said) ‘I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’  So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again;he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. Luke 15:20-24

The biggest part for my husband, who couldn’t get through the story without choking back tears was, as he said, Two bags.  Not three, not one, not four…two.  No one could have ever known this man would have a friend with him in the same dire straits.  But God did.  For our son, he summed it up best when he told us, “Being a small part of this incredible moment was the best birthday present I received.”

<<Check out the companion song to this post on my Tunes page!>>

The Cure for a Mid-Life Crisis

Photo via Pinterest

I dreaded turning 40 my entire life.  That number always seemed like a lifetime away! Well, it came knocking on my door, and I have to say I didn’t handle it very well.  Okay, I freaked out.  I tried to hide it on the outside, but on the inside things changed.  Wow, I never thought I’d be a cliché, but so much of what people say about turning 40 is true!

I began to look back on my life – the good, bad and the ugly.  I spent quiet time alone reflecting on the way things were and they way things are now.  I noticed physical changes (oh joy!) as well as a shift in my attitude – for the good, I think.  I became less concerned with what people think of me.  I’m not motivated by people’s approval nearly as much as I used to be.  I began standing up for myself.  I realized that I cannot be everything to everyone all the time…and that’s okay.  I’m a lot more relaxed because I see things from a different perspective – hopefully a little wiser than before.

After pondering the past, I turned my focus to the future and joke that I’ve got one foot in the grave.  Well, based on statistics I do!  This weird sense of, I have to do all the things I’ve ever wanted to because, tick tock, time’s a wastin’!, crept into my thinking.  I felt a surge of self-imposed pressure to fulfill dreams and finally write and complete my bucket list right now.

At the same time, my husband is a few years older than me, and he has been swept in the undertow of being the primary provider for our family for so long he just doesn’t know any different.  He likes his position in life, though he stays continually tired.

He was a bit numb to a mid-life crisis because that takes extra time and energy he doesn’t have. On the contrary, some strange alarm went off inside me and I felt like a racehorse just waiting for the life’s gate to spring open.

What was I do to with myself?  I had a bad case of mid-life crisis!  What in the world is the remedy?  We’re not “stuffy” people so buying stuff isn’t going to fix it.  I’m not going to do anything foolish as the cliché goes.  But where would I be able to put all of this electrified energy and sense of urgency to do something completely out of my norm?

Enter…a mission trip to Africa.

I never saw that coming!  Who knew God had been working behind the scenes for many months to prepare our family’s hearts to go on mission.  We were as surprised as the friends and family we told.  But, we could not deny that this was exactly what God was sitting on us to do.  So we did.

Let me just say that when I look back on who I was pre-Africa, and in full-blown mid-life crisis mode, was utterly resolved in 2 weeks.  Just by reading the above of what I was feeling, it was all so self-centered!  A mid-life crisis usually is.  After all, it’s all about us.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a change in one’s life.  No one can blame someone for wanting shake up the norm a bit or fulfill a life dream.  But, the entire difference rode on the fact that a mission trip is designed for us to serve – not be served.

If we are to live like Christ, we must think like Him.  Matthew 20:28, “…the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

I was standing at a crossroads in life and was tempted to make the second half of my life all about me and my time and what I wanted to do.  My human nature was screaming its demands!  But, then we stepped onto the plane bound for Kenya.  I left my home, family and friends behind.  I also left part of myself.  I stepped off the plane in Kenya and, from that moment on, everything changed.  Not just for me, but for my husband, too.

For two weeks I watched my man of 22 years be on the verge of laughing or crying 24/7.  A part of him awakened – the part that craves life.  He rediscovered a passion for being part of something larger than himself.  A passion for helping others, sharing Jesus’ love, and living life to the fullest.  He also emerged an entirely new husband and father.  We all liked the former one, but this one has zeal for godly leadership in all ways of daily living.  Even his physical countenance changed.  I could not stop staring at him the entire trip, because I watched him morph from tired to totally alive.

I shook off my mid-life pity party over everything I haven’t been able to do, and saw, without blinders, this great big world God holds in His hands and the possibilities it possesses.  I fell in love with the Kenyan people and created bonds with our American team that will last a lifetime. Where my previous focus began to shift on myself, God used this mission trip to gently turn my face back toward His Kingdom work and toward the life that is waiting for me after this one passes.  I have always loved people and diversity, but serving on mission exploded in me a passion for others.  I LOVED serving, helping and assisting the Kenyan folk and our team.  Although I had no idea what I was doing, I was willing to do whatever was needed and we made memories that will carry me the rest of my life.  On the flip side, my heart utterly broke over the poverty Kenyans endure every single day.

Serving on mission was not something we sought out so much as it was what God called us to. God calls all believers to serve in some capacity, and we should all be seeking opportunities.  This was a huge lesson I learned.  It is the most humbling work I’ve ever done.  We serve locally as well, and that is also needed, but there is something very different about  leaving all of our creature comforts, language, culture, everything we understand as our normal, and go somewhere we don’t fit in, yet are so warmly welcomed by those waiting to greet us to work together for a common good – God’s will.  It is a truly unique experience that simply cannot be replicated at home.

A vacation trip of a lifetime is an incredible experience, and there is nothing wrong with that. We’d all love to take one!  But, I saw how vastly different vacations are from mission trips.  I’ve never been so tired, so drained, so energized, so alive – all at the same time – in all my life.  Our trip had purpose and meaning.  The work we began will long outlast the memory of us being there.  I like to watch the Travel Channel with Samantha Brown, Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern.  I’ve learned a lot as an armchair traveler about the difference between simply being a tourist and immersing oneself in a different culture and experiencing it from the inside out.  I’ll take immersion any day.

We are gearing up for our next mission trip this summer, and I can hardly wait to get started.  I left a piece of my heart in Kenya and will again on this trip I am sure.  When we look at the world through God’s eyes, and see His unconditional, relentless love for it, we must simply be a part of what He is doing no matter where or when.  There are so many bad things happening in the world right now.  But, traveling with God on mission allowed me to see there is a whole lot of good being done as well.

I may have left part of my heart on mission, but I brought back hope, empathy and an intense desire to serve those who need a helping hand. It’s how Christ lived.  He commands believers to do the same.

(Jesus) said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.” 

~ Mark 16:15

My only regret is that we waited so long to go.  If I could rewind time…but I can’t.  However, serving on mission is something I really look forward to doing as long as I am physically able, and that gets me really excited about the next half of my life.

<<Check out a great book recommendation on my Books page!>>

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

So glad to cross the finish line of this week’s amazing race!  How about you?

Our family accomplished some tough goals this week and are stronger for it. Praise God!  Now we’re ready to simply enjoy the Sabbath – the day of rest blessed by God.

Here is Scripture to help all of us embrace the fullness of what we at RealDeepStuff like to call “Selah Day,”

Psalm 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God…

Can’t wait to meet back here tomorrow.  Now go rest! 🙂

~ Kristi

Torn in two

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. ~ Micah 6:8

I was picking up the house recently when something stopped me dead in my tracks.  Literally, I took one step forward and froze.  Looking down at our coffee table, I saw some mailers that have sat for over a week.  Each one was complimentary and was delivered to my home – ironically arriving within a day of each other.  When they arrived, I placed them on my coffee table like I do with current mailers and never gave it another thought.

This time, my heart skipped a beat as I gazed, with fresh eyes, at the dichotomy of these things. See for yourself…

Do you see what I see?  Contradiction.  Two worlds clashing.

Both of those reflect me, and I am frustrated!  On one hand, my heart is passionate for all people and want no one to suffer.  I want everyone to know the love of Jesus and have all of their needs met; for everyone to realize their goals and dreams; and for peace and provisions worldwide.

On the other hand, I get stuck in what I know as normal.  I like Restoration Hardware (though I can’t afford most of what they sell).  I like their style, ideas, and clean lines.  It’s not just Restoration Hardware, but this is the mailer that happened to be sent at the same time as PrayerPoint.  I’m not picking on it, but I am confused with where it all stands with me.

I think I’ve spent my life like most people in America.  I have not been blind to the world around me, but honestly, it didn’t directly affect my daily 24/7.  The needs and injustices of this world have always made me want to help, and we do what we can, but within the longitutde and latitude of my life in America, there is a whole different normal.

I’m not saying there is not hardship and suffering here. There is. But, comparatively, we do not live in a war-torn land; we have freedom of speech & religion; we have basic things like paved roads, clean water and electricity;  we have sanitation systems that keep infection and disease down; we have laws (albeit not perfect!) against child labor, for safe working conditions, to monitor sanitation levels in restaurants, hospitals, etc.; truancy laws to keep kids in school; laws against child abuse, parent abuse and spousal abuse; and we have legal rights in the justice system.  Take away the tangible things and America is still, by far, a very rich place in which to live.

Most people in the world have far fewer rights and protections and live on $1 or less per day.  26,000 people, including children, die every day from preventable diseases and illnesses.  The rate of human trafficking, starvation, drought and political conflict is mind-boggling.  Does it affect where my kids go to school?  Where I buy my groceries? Where I go to church? I must admit, for many years I kept the two dichotomies separated.  We help locally and globally, but my daily grind did not know the physical hardships of most people in the world.

In the last few years, however, God has awoken me from a hazy sleep.  He broadened my narrow vision in a whole new way.  With the organizations we volunteer for, God has given us more work and responsibilities.  With our church, God has given us more opportunities to serve.

It’s a whole different story to know orphans that I call by name and pray for every day.  Whose faces are on the walls of my daughter’s bedroom and who are smiling at me every time I close my eyes wondering how they are doing in Kenya.  Children we’ve met, played with and held.  Teens who have dreams and hopes and goals, but little to no help to achieve them.

No one is less important than anyone else, but “here” and “there” have felt light years apart for years.

I’ve always been a huge advocate for water conservation because I grew up in an area where there was a constant threat of drought.  I try to do my part by taking very short showers; turning off the water when brushing my teeth; dumping boiled vegetable water on my outdoor potted plants; watering indoor plants with leftover cups of water; using large shade trees to cool the grass instead of a sprinkler system; and using water-saving car washes (only when truly needed) versus the hose water running down the gutter.  Very little water goes to waste in our house.  Even still, I feel so guilty for using any of it because I saw the miles people walk, barefoot and carrying plastic jugs, to fetch their daily water supply.  The water I wash my dishes with is far cleaner than the only water many people have to drink.

And, we have a house.  It’s not the biggest, it’s not the smallest.  We do, however, use every square inch of it – none of it wasted space.  One could look at the daily messes in it to know that it is true!  But, how many people in the world have a house?  Not many.   Every night when we say prayers with the kids, we thank God for a bed to sleep in and a roof over our heads.  But, we also pray for those who don’t have such luxuries.

That’s my point.  Why do some people call them luxuries and some call it a normal standard of living?  It’s all what we’re used to.

My life has been used to one way of living.  My heart has always known better.  As I experience more of this planet, the gap between the two dichotomies is only growing wider and it’s tearing me in two.

How do I enjoy things like flipping through a Restoration Hardware catalog and dreaming of the what-ifs, while I know children are dying because they don’t have simple vaccines or enough food to survive?

How do I serve those who need help, but still be thankful for what God has blessed me with like a full belly, shoes on my feet, and a home with doors to lock and a van to drive?

I can’t figure this out.  Part of me wants to sell everything and move to a faraway land.  Part of me feels called to stay put and continue the ministries that we do stateside that help people all over the world because of the resources we have here.

The summer before God called our family to short-term mission, we put a pool in the backyard of our home that we’ve lived in for 15 years.  It’s not a huge pool, but it fits the size of our motley crew.  We saved for a very, very long time and made sacrifices in other areas to make it happen.  It has been a great tool to strengthen our family time, and we love to have extended family and friends over to enjoy it with us.   But, the next summer we surprisingly found ourselves in Africa, and this summer we are preparing for another mission to a different part of the world, and my husband and I wonder if we did the right thing with the pool.  We are deeply thankful God allowed us to save the money to do it, but I also now know a lot better now how far that money could go to help people simply survive.  If we had the same choice to make all over again, would we build it?  And is this a contradiction to my water conservation awareness?

Ug.

I may never find a balance within my heart with these two parts of me.  The world itself is not balanced.  It does bother me, however, to not even notice the two vastly different mailers sitting right next to each other on my coffee table as if they were equal reading.  They are not.

One thing I can do is this:

  • Continue to teach my children the difference between need and want (Matthew 6: 25-33)
  • Teach them the value of serving others (Matthew 20:26-28)
  • Teach them to consider others more highly than they consider themselves (Philippians 2:3)
  • Teach them not to be afraid of hard work (2 Thessalonians 3:7-12)
  • Teach them to be grateful for what they have, not to have too much of it, and be willing to share it (Philippians 3:12-13; Acts 2:44-45)
  • Teach them the value of money and its proper place in our lives (1 Timothy 6:6-10)
  • Teach them to tithe (Leviticus 27:30; Matthew 22:21)
  • Teach them to work as unto the Lord and not for the glory of people or ourselves (Ephesians 6:7-8; Colossians 3:23-24)
  • Talk with them about ways they can use their gifts and talents to make a difference in this world (Ephesians 2:10)
  • Talk with them about what lasts in this world – and what doesn’t (Matthew 6:19-21)
  • Talk with them about love and who deserves our whole heart (Deuteronomy 6:5)
  • Encourage them to always look for good to do…and do it (1 Timothy 6:18)
  • Example all of this in my own life first.

Children truly imitate their parents – for better or worse.  If we want to play a role in helping this world survive for generations to come, change needs to begin with us.

Decades ago, my mom clipped a poem by Charles Kingsley and pinned it to our kitchen corkboard.  This little piece of paper is one of the only (and most beloved) treasures I have left from losing everything in catastrophic loss when I was a teen.  Below is a scan of the original.

Every time I try to wrap my head around the dichotomy of my world and the world, I end up with more questions than answers.  Returning from Africa, I feel like I have no home.  Like I told a friend, I’m not comfortable living in this society because we have so much, but I’m not sure I could handle living there with its unrelenting hardships.

I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere.

I think that’s exactly where God wants our hearts.  As Christians, we are citizens of another world.  A world our eyes cannot see, but one our hearts are drawn to.  This isn’t where we belong.  It shouldn’t be comfortable.  Pardon the double negative, but it shouldn’t be a place that we wouldn’t want to leave if the Lord called us home.

John 18:36 – Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place.” 

Philippians 3:20-21 –  But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

1 Peter 2:11 – Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.

I can relate as someone who finds herself a nomad at heart, a stranger passing through this life.

God wants us to enjoy His gift of life, to enjoy the tangible and intangible blessings of life, and be thankful for what He has given us (not which was attained by selfish desire).  But, He never meant for us to keep it all to ourselves.  I’m not only referring to money and physical resources, He also wants us to share our time, talents and energy; our love, friendship and humor; everything that makes us unique that He inspired in us for His purposes.  Most of all, He wants us to share the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ, the free gift of eternal life that the world cannot take away.

As the world economy and our American economy both feel the tremble of emerging fault lines beneath our feet, serious thought and prayer need to play a major part in how we spend every dollar and donate every hour of our time & resources.  Time is short.  Life is precious.  God help us.

I could…

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  ~ Hebrews 4:14-16

Good Thursday morning,

Today, I could tell you that I woke up with my stomach in knots.  But, I didn’t.  I could tell you that I am worried sick over today’s events, but I’m not.  I could tell you that I’m freaking out inside over walking a familiar road – one I never wanted to walk again.  But, I won’t.

Today, a beloved family member is having surgery.  Surgery that makes my skin crawl and tempts me to throw hope out the window and only listen to statistics. Surgery that possesses the power to completely alter the future of our family.  I have a personal, deep-seeded hatred for the disease that necessitates this surgery.

How do we respond when life brings an unwanted package to our door?  We didn’t ask for it, order it or want it.  It sits at our door nonetheless, and no one is able to take it away.  It must be accepted.  It must be opened.  What do we do?

Well, we could deny its existence, but that doesn’t lessen the reality of it.  We could sit and stare at it, but that gets us nowhere.  We could try to discard it, but it’s too heavy to lift.  Dear Lord, what do we do?

What we won’t do is cave.  We won’t crumble under helplessness.  We won’t give in to worry.  We won’t admit defeat before the battle has barely begun.  We won’t hysterically throw our hands up in the air and lose our senses.  We won’t shake an angry fist at God saying, It’s all Your fault!

We pray.  Oh, I am not talking about the cliche Christian answer to life’s problems.  I’m talking about tapping into the Holy Spirit inside us to intercede on our loved one’s behalf (Romans 8:26).  We call on the authority in the name of Jesus Christ, to proclaim God’s sovereignty over our loved one (2 Corinthians 12:9).  We exercise our faith muscle knowing God sees all and is in all.  We call on Christ as our High Priest to intercede for her.  We, with boldness because of salvation and grace, approach the throne room of God and ask for the sparing our loved one’s life.

Our family’s strength and sanity is wrapped in the goodness of God despite the circumstances.  We know He is passionate about our loved one.  We know He never takes His eyes off of her.  More than coming up with feelgood statements, or reaching for some false hope that the world tries to wrap as truth, we stand on God’s Truth.  Real, solid, biblical Truth.

We’re praying Scripture over our loved one today.  If you’ve never done this before, it’s basically personalizing Scripture in the form of prayer.  It is not changing the context of the Scripture itself, rather it helps give us words when we can find none of our own.  Let’s go…

* Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with (Salli) wherever (she goes).”  Joshua 1:9

* Even to (Salli’s) old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain (her). I have made (her) and I will carry (her); I will sustain (her) and I will rescue (her). Isaiah 46:4

* May your unfailing love rest upon (Salli), O LORD, even as (she puts her) hope in you.  Psalm 33:22

* ‘“The LORD bless (Salli) and keep (her);  the LORD make his face shine upon (her) and be gracious to (her); the LORD turn his face toward (her) and give (her) peace.” Numbers 6:24-27

* …And I pray that (Salli), being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that (she) may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Ephesians 3:17-19
* (Salli ) lives by faith, not by sight.  2 Corinthians 5:7

* God speaking – “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget (Salli)!  See, I have engraved (her) on the palms of my hands; (her) walls are ever before me.  Isaiah 49:15-16

* Keep (Salli) as the apple of your eye; hide (her) in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 17:8
* God speaking – “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9
***********************************
The following is Scripture that Salli is claiming for her life.  She shared it with us, and I am sharing it with you.  
Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair. So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”  When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”  John 11: 1-4
Only God knows the future.  We know He is good all the time and nothing happens that hasn’t passed through His hands first.  He doesn’t create bad and evil events, but He does provide a redemptive plan for them.  Please listen to me.  God promises His children absolute healing.  This healing will either be in our lifetime or in the one to come.  We have prayed for Salli and released her into God’s hands.  She WILL see healing.  We ask that it be now, in this body, selfishly for our benefit because we love her, but also so she can continue to share her story of what God has already done for His glory through this illness.  As believers in Christ, our lives are not our own.  We relinquished all control when we accepted Christ as Savior.  We know He is always working for our good.  I think we get tripped up when our definition of good does not match God’s definition. After all, our definitions of “good” can differ person to person throughout the world.  There is only one God, and He is good in the most holy, pure, omnipotent, faithful, loving, tender and righteous way.  We rest in who He is and in knowing He loves Salli even more than we do.  As the old hymn sings, it is well with my soul.
<<Check out two companion songs to this post on my Tunes page!>>
My personal prayer for Salli.  Psalm 139: 1-18

 1 O LORD, you have searched (Salli)
and you know (her).
2 You know when (she) sits and when (she) rises;
you perceive (her) thoughts from afar.
3 You discern (her) going out and (her) lying down;
you are familiar with all (her) ways.
4 Before a word is on (her) tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem (Salli) in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon (her).
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can (Salli) go from your Spirit?
Where can (she) flee from your presence?
8 If (she) goes up to the heavens, you are there;
if (she) makes (her) bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If (she) rises on the wings of the dawn,
if (she) settles on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide (her),
your right hand will hold (her) fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide (her)
and the light become night around (her),”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created (Salli’s) inmost being;
you knit (her) together in (her) mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because (she) is fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 (Her) frame was not hidden from you
when (she) was made in the secret place.
When (she) was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw (her) unformed body.
All the days ordained for (her)
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to (us) are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were (we) to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When (Salli) awakes,  (she) is still with you.