September 25, 2012

Why I love the body of Christ – forgiving friendship

Yesterday, I wrote about a friend of mine who has an amazing testimony of redemption and transformation. Today, I’d like to tell you a story…

Once upon a time there were two friends. For years, they shared life together. One day, massive heartbreak occurred. The friendship dissolved. Time passed, but not without the lacing of an occasional, short hello or semi-genuine smile when we saw one another. It never grew less awkward.

Boundary lines were drawn and mutual friends were lost. My name was dishonored, and at times I felt extremely alone. Betrayed. Unloved. Forgotten.

During this time, I sought God as my refuge. He and I dealt with my heartache. He taught me how to be okay, even if life around me wasn’t fully okay. He became known to me as my God of sanity. Still, there was a sense of awkwardness stirring. Things were unsettled between my friend and me. I had done what I could to seek amicable relations, yet I felt powerless to do anything more as I no longer had a dog in the fight.

I let my friend go – partially because I will never force anyone be with me who doesn’t want to, and partially because I could not control any of this, including her feelings toward me.

Years passed.

Recently, to my surprise, I received a phone call from her. Just to hear her voice on my voicemail caught me off guard. I had no earthly idea why she called because our lives have not overlapped for a long time. Before I was able to return her call, I ran into her at church. I began with an immediate apology for not returning her call yet due to life barraging me with wave after wave of relentless issues to deal with all at once.

She simply took my hand, and with tearful eyes, began to apologize to me. I was taken back at her sincerity, genuineness and humility. She was visibly, transparently broken. She told me that God used a recent sermon to convict her so heavily regarding me that she could not carry this weight one more step. The words she used were extremely powerful to me…

Although I have always loved you, I have not loved you well. I am sorry.

When she said that, it was like cool water to a thirsty soul. Over time, I had worked things through with God to overcome my grief, anger and sheer shock of events, but I had no idea how much good it would do for my heart to hear her words.

Her husband stood with us as she offered her apology several times. I told her with amazement, Your countenance is different. You have a softness about you that I haven’t seen in years. She replied through tears, Thank you. I needed to hear that.

It was a beautiful moment between two people. God had surely done a huge work in her heart. It was visible in many ways.

Her apology is one I never thought would happen. You know how it goes – hurts happen, time passes, life goes on, the subject gets dropped, feelings get stuffed and we smile as if nothing ever happened while a sting pierces our heart – but we hide it well.

This is not how God intended it to be with people, particularly within the body of Christ. He has set forth rules for handling life’s sticky situations, and Christians are, therefore, held to a higher standard. I totally get that, but what I think the world doesn’t understand is that we are human, very human. Christ lives in us, but we have free will to choose our behavior. We want to please God, but we wrestle incessantly with our human nature that is selfish on all counts.

Paul wrote about this in Romans 7:14-25. It takes everything in us, but it is only with God’s help, we live the way He wants us to live. Our spirit knows the Truth, but our flesh craves a human response.

Delightfully, because God had worked with me to forgive her a long time ago, I was freely able to extend that forgiveness to her with no strings attached. That’s what felt so incredible! She and I came at this from two different vantage points, but because God was the common thread, He wove us together in His mercy and grace.

I can say with a sincere heart that all is well. It was a biblical moment that superseded our humanness.

Just last week, I read the headlines of a national magazine that so-and-so will never forgive so-and-so and that she has written her off forever. I thought to myself how sad that was. Forever is a long time. And, for Christ-followers, we will share forever together so we’d better learn how to get along now!

Are either of us, my friend or me, perfect people? No. Do we have perfect lives? No. Do we serve a perfect God, who took the time while ruling the universe, to reach down and mend a relationship among the 6+ billion people who walk this planet? Yes.

It was a miraculous moment. Honestly, I had given up hope that anything like that would ever occur. Her heartfelt actions and words refreshed my hope that the seemingly impossible is possible with God. Everything is possible with God (Mark 10:27).

Had we not been believers, trying to live according to God’s ways, our story would end with the same headline of being written off forever. Not so with God. Who would have thought?

Being a part of the body of Christ means we are intertwined in each others’ lives. We are – family. We have a Heavenly Father to whom we are accountable for our actions. The world says to be our own god and make our own rules and answer to no one. The only place that gets us is alone, because it’s all about us, right?

Christians may not always get it right. We live under a microscope of cynicism from the world who waits for us to get tripped up in our faith journey. Yep. It’s going to happen. We are sinners saved by grace. But, the difference is that with God, we get a chance to start again.

His forgiveness is the only kind that lasts. If we forgive on a human level, we are bound by conditional love – which is hyper-temperamental and unreliable. We forgive out of our finite capacity based on our personalities and life experience. However, God’s forgiveness is based on what has been given to us – divine forgiveness through Christ’s sacrifice for our sin. And that is an unconditional, endless supply to offer others.

Do we wrestle with emotions? You bet. In the course of my life, it has just about killed me to offer forgiveness in certain circumstances, and I will not write that I have perfected the area of offering divine forgiveness. But, through this experience with my friend, God has poured streams of living hope into my soul – an unexplainable optimism – that where we give up and come to the end of ourselves, God says, Finally! Now let me carry it the rest of the way.

I love being part of the body of Christ. Why? It works. God’s way works. Not according to world’s standard because good guys finish last, right? But, according to God’s standard, we can have unshakable peace, audacious faith, and irrational joy – and we get to share these hidden treasures with other believers who have also discovered them along their faith journey.

God’s way is hard. Really hard. But, it’s the right way. The world’s way of dealing with broken relationships is broken itself. Grudges drain energy. Unforgiveness poisons the soul. Ongoing anger turns bitter. Relationships end, but the hurt never stops. I’ll take the hard, but beneficial, way any day. Christians still have feelings to work through, we’re not robots, but laying them at the feet of the One who carried the cross of my shame, I am free to trust His system of perfect love. After all, at any moment, I may be the one asking for forgiveness.

Even though I am imperfect, I can love with God’s perfect love. Where what I have within myself ends, He begins and carries the baton of righteousness and godliness for me – holding my hand as we run the race. Helping. Cheering. Instructing. I am never alone. Neither is anyone who calls on His name. I have my friend back again and we have both been changed in the process – hopefully to more resemble the One who created us. God is our Redeemer, Restorer and Reconciler. We are thankful.

If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared. ~ Psalm 130:3-4

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Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ~ Ephesians 4:2-3

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Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. ~ Matthew 5:22-23

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Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. ~ Ephesians 4:32

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Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” ~ Matthew 18:21-22

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Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ~ Colossians 3:12-13

Posted in Community, Faith
Tagged Christian living, forgiveness, friendship, grudges, relationships
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September 24, 2012

Why I love the body of Christ – miraculous transformation!

Before I begin, I want to explain my recent silence. There are so many things going on in the world right now, serious issues, that I’ve felt like anything I write is trivial in comparison. Nothing parallels life and death, and thus I almost started believing that anything other than those issues were not as important.

Well, that is true – to a point. Many of us do not live in life or death situations every day of our lives. But, we do live with peaks and valleys, good times and suffering, gain and loss, sickness and health, and all of the array of emotions that accompany such times of life. There are seasons and purposes to everything under heaven (Ecclesiastes) and this blog’s purpose is to walk through these seasons, hopefully offering encouragement to others who paths may look different, but share some of the same feelings about our journeys. So with that, I have found a revived excitement about writing. One person cannot solve the world’s problems, but if this blog brings a smile, offers a perspective, or lightens the load of our fellow sojourners, then God will continue to work His message through this one, simple blog that has traversed 25+ countries across the world.

What better way to prove this than with my friend. Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed with a new found love for my church. I’m not talking about only where my membership resides, but Christ’s church that spans from the book of Acts to all over the world today. We will camp on this for a few days. Why? Because the church has taken many hits over time. It’s not perfect by any stretch, but God has ignited in my heart a renewing of the joy of being part of His church. With that, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.

I met this friend a while ago. For a long time, I didn’t know his story of how he became a Christian or found our church. I only knew I was glad this man’s life intersected ours. He makes good points in discussion. He is tender, humble and very funny. He has a huge, bright smile and likes to laugh. He is considerate, helpful and smart. He never misses a Sunday (unless work schedules conflict) and worships with his whole being. He loves God with all his heart; loves his church; and loves people. I recall a recent Sunday when he stood at the door, greeting people as they came in the building. He smiled and said kind words to me. He ushered the offering plate on our row with a servant’s heart. Sounds like a great guy, huh?

Did I also mention that he used to be (until he asked Christ into his heart) a drug dealer? He had every dealer’s name in the city on his speed dial, and used to use “physical intimidation” to get money due him. He wasn’t a nice guy.

Ya know what? I can’t see it. What I see when I look at him (as does everyone at our church who knows his story), is a transformed man. Extreme Makeover has nothing on this guy. This man is teachable, gentle and kind. I liken him to a teddy bear.

My husband and I talked fondly about him just yesterday, and we just sit in amazement over the new life this friend has in Christ. The bondage of old sin is broken, and he is new.

Is his life perfect? Nope. Is anyone’s?

Does his old lifestyle still have consequences? Sure. Anyone’s does.

If accepting Christ as Savior meant a free ride with a perfect life, being Christian would be a lot more popular! One thing it does mean is that we are free to live the abundant life Jesus spoke of in John 10:10.

There are many people in the Bible who underwent the same transformation on their own personal level. Take Paul. He was Saul, a perfect Pharisee. He relentlessly persecuted the church without discrimination against men, women, old and young. He was present, and approved, Stephen’s stoning – which was the first martyrdom for Christ (Acts 7:54-60; Acts 8:1).

But, then he encountered Christ. He was changed. Transformed. New. (Acts 9:319)

Were Christians wary of Paul? Oh yes! When he came to Damascus, they knew he was coming for them. After all, he made that message very clear (Acts 9:1-2). But along the way, the love of Christ broke through some very tough skin and a hardened heart. Paul went on to become the most impactful missionary in history for the cause of Christ. If God could reach Saul, now Paul, how capable is He of giving any of us a new start?

Regardless of our past, God offers a new future. He replaces shame with dignity; heals scars; replaces despair with hope; and sets our feet on a new path made exclusively for us. No one is beyond saving. Christ died for one and all. He is the only God who sacrificed Himself for people so we, who accept Him, don’t ever have to experience the eternal penalty for our sins.

My friend experienced God’s love in such an irresistible way that he forsook his entire lifestyle and livelihood to follow Christ. He asked for forgiveness and turned from his ways. He surrendered his finances to God and asked Him to give him a job he can be proud of. He seeks God. Becoming a Christian didn’t satisfy his appetite. He wants more. He wants to know more about God and draw closer to Him. That is change!

If I weren’t a part of the body of Christ, I never would have met this man that I look forward to seeing on Sundays. His story never would have challenged my heart to embrace miraculous change for anyone who earnestly wants it.

If I weren’t part of the body of Christ, I never would have realized how similar my friend and I are. I may not have his story as my own, but we both share a need for God’s love, forgiveness, and grace. We both rest in the peace that only Christ can bring. We both want to run our races strong for Christ – no matter the cost. We are both sinners who found a life of hope and joy in God who is trustworthy and faithful.

We are equally loved by God who created us. My friend’s story reaffirms a favorite quote by Dr. Bruce Frank, You can run from God, but you can’t outrun God.

Whether I see my friend at church, or look in the mirror, I am reminded of Lamentations 3:22-23, Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I am thankful to be a part of the body of Christ.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

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But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect…

1 Corinthians 15:10

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Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

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…To Him who loves us and has set us free from our sins by His blood, and made us a kingdom, priests to His God and Father—the glory and dominion are His forever and ever. Amen. Revelation 1:5

Posted in Community, Faith
Tagged Christian living, christianity, church, drugs
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September 19, 2012

Tangible God

Freely you have received; freely give. ~ Matthew 10:8

Okay, so I knew the new school year would be an adjustment, but seriously, I think I haven’t exhaled in weeks. Things are moviv’ and shakin’ but at times I’m having a hard time keeping pace.

Which leads me to today. I had a small pocket of time to take care of an annoying problem with my minivan. The problem is non-essential to driving, but I notice it every time I drive. So after a month, I finally bit the bullet and drove clear across town to the dealership to have them fix it. The dealership is extremely out of my way, but I seized the opportunity nonetheless.

The auto mechanics ushered me right away into the large bay and walked to my window. I told them about the problem, and one of the men added, “Do you know you have a taillight out? That’s a ticket you probably don’t want to get. It’s $5 to buy a bulb from us and we can fix it right now.”

Oh! Okay. I didn’t know I had a taillight out. Ironically, when I told the same man about the problem I came for, OF COURSE the problem had resolved itself. Doesn’t that figure! I immediately thought to myself, “You mean, I drove all the way out here just to find out the problem has somehow mysteriously vanished?’

I bought the bulb. They installed it. $6.67 and about 8 minutes later I’m driving away. The radio was on as a woman recounted how the person in front of her at a fast food drive-thru paid for her meal. This act of God-led kindness really impacted her and her tight budget. She said, “It’s like God was saying, ‘Don’t worry Little One, I’ve got you covered.'”

As soon as she said that, a huge lump swelled in my throat and tears welled. The part of her story that touched me was that God showed up in an unexpected, tangible way and blessed her heart.

“I wish something like that would happen for me today,” I thought to myself.

“It just did,” God replied.

Just then, I realized that God didn’t nudge me to go to the dealership to fix a silly problem that didn’t need fixing. He sent me there to get my light fixed – a problem I didn’t even know I had. And yes, a ticket for that would be most unwelcome in my life at this moment.

He sent me there and gave me awesome customer service with the nicest two men – no waiting and the cost was under $7. Talk about the royal treatment!

And, we are royalty. We are children of the King. He was taking care of His Little One today. Had He not connected the dots for me, my gratitude would have stayed silent.

When I reached my next destination, a large store with difficult parking, I was very excited to find a parking spot right at the door. As I waited for the man to pull out of it, I noticed an elderly man in the car behind me waiting to turn down the same aisle. I was almost giddy that my great spot meant I’d be in and out even quicker…until God gave me His perspective.

“Remember what I just did for you?” He asked. Yes, it had happened just moments prior and I was thankful for His mercy and grace that He made my life easier without me even realizing it.

“Pass it on,” He said.

“So, You want me to give this awesome parking spot to the elderly man behind me, right?”

“Yes.”

“But, God, You know how much I am in a hurry.”

“Yes.”

“And, God. You understand how rare it is to get this close of a spot, right?”

“Yes.”

“But, You still want me to do this…”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” I replied. And, once I got my eyes off of myself for a just a second, I was thrilled for the opportunity to bless this elderly man. As I drove down the aisle, looking for another rare parking spot, I glanced in my rear-view mirror to see his reaction.

This frustrated, tired old man, waiting behind me as he blocked traffic to turn down the aisle after me, watched me as I drove right by the empty spot. He looked at me – looked at the spot – and looked at me again. He was totally bewildered, and pulled into the best spot in the parking lot slowly – as if he wasn’t sure he should.

I pulled into my new spot with a big grin on my face. God was tangible to the woman in the drive-thru through someone else listening to His nudge; so she took the time to call the radio station and tell her story; which helped me hear from God that He saved me a ticket from an unknown problem; and because of all of this I was convicted to pass on the blessing. I wonder if that man did the same?

God is so good. He is generous and kind. He knows what we need – even if we don’t. I love Him.

How have you been a part of His great love story for the world today? How has He shown His endless love for you? If you don’t know, ask Him. He’s got a million ways to tell you.

Posted in Faith
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September 1, 2012

When I grow up…

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life… ~ Philippians 2:14-15

As our family, along with thousands of other families, adapts to the newness of the start of another school year, my mind drifts back to Kenya – to a special young lady who lives there.

Travel with me today, up a rocky mountain on a small bus with no air conditioning. All but a few seats are taken by our teammates who are going to hold a soccer clinic with hundreds of Kenyan children who live on this mountain. Many of them have never seen a Caucasian person before and almost all do not speak English. This is surely a first for my family and we are excited!

The scenery is breathtaking. Such beauty envelops us on every side. After quite a long, slow drive up, we stop. There, some local children are waiting. Clustered together, they giggle as they look at us. We smile real big and wave. That makes them giggle more. They are shy. Meek. Kind.

We are just about to continue our journey to the top of the mountain, when a young lady, probably 13 or 14, spontaneously steps onto the bus and sits down next to me. I am delighted to have her company, but am perplexed as to why she got on.

I asked her if she spoke English. She replied, A little. I was thrilled! That was more than I spoke of her native tongue.

She sat quietly, holding onto the seat in front of her as our bus rocked side-to-side up the stony incline.

Curious, I asked her why she hopped on the bus. She replied, I want to know what it feels like to ride one.

I was completely taken back by her words. She’s never ridden a bus before – or any transportation. The 2,400 families that live on this mountain never leave it. They farthest they go is a very long hike down to reach extremely contaminated streams at the bottom to fetch water. A trek they make every single day up and down the entire mountain. That is one reason we are there – in addition to presenting the Gospel and running soccer clinics – to help dedicate two rainwater catchers past teams of ours helped build with the locals at the very top of the mountain so no one ever has to die from water-borne illnesses again.

Wanting to let her enjoy the ride, I didn’t speak much, though I had a thousand questions about her, their way of life, their thoughts on things. I am always full of questions, and sometimes it drives my family crazy! 🙂

However, I had a question burning the tip of my tongue. If I didn’t ask it, I thought my tongue would catch on fire or I would burst. So I asked it.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

She did not hesitate with her answer. A doctor or a teacher.

You can be anything you want to be. Go for your dreams, I replied with a smile.

She sheepishly smiled back.

As we continued up the mountain together, I couldn’t help but stare at her out the corner of my eye. She is beautiful. She has dreams. Aspirations. And, they begin with wanting to know what it feels like to ride man-made transportation.

Her inquisitiveness is colorful. Her courage to get on the bus with a bunch of foreigners is inspiring. She’s already unafraid to chase her dreams and go for it.

A doctor or a teacher. Why? On this mountain, it really is all about daily survival in the most primitive of estates. They have one school and there are many cultural superstitions involved in treating their medical ailments that oppress the one government-ran clinic staffed by two nurses that service this clinic twice a week.

I believe it is because she sees firsthand, the difference one person can make. She is surrounded by her village of family and neighbors. Not too many doctors and teachers. But, oh what an impression a nurse here, or a teacher there, has already made on her.

Someone has made such an impact on this young lady’s life that she believes her life is bigger than the mountain she lives on. For instance, I met one woman who is incredibly talented. She is a Kenyan college graduate who has devoted her life to giving these kids an education. She is jaw-dropping impressive, because despite her tireless efforts and huge impact on the community, she one of the most humble, soft-spoken and unassuming people I’ve ever met.

My young friend has already realized that her purpose is more than daily survival. She owns nothing of value to this world, yet she possesses a spirit rich in hope and determination.

All because someone, a doctor or teacher or both, has touched her life in a unique way, sparking a love for life that God placed inside her when He breathed life into her.

As a new school year begins in places all over the world, my first thought is of this young lady. If she can have such amazing aspirations, so can other children who live in a longitude and latitude with ample resources available. It literally pains me to see kids nowadays sluff off school and whine and complain about it like they were being asked to donate a kidney just by showing up. It is a cliche to complain about waking up early, school bus rides, school rules, cafeteria food and homework. What privileges these are! And, this is not being said by a middle-aged adult who has forgotten how much homework can consume an evening, or the obnoxious pitch of the alarm clock screaming in my ear way before I’m ready to here it.

No. I say this because there are countless children all over the world who would give anything to have the resources other kids have – like my bus-buddy. They would give anything for someone to take a chance on them and let them learn. To give them the resources they need to chase their dreams.

How many poverty-stricken children in this world are being born, living and dying without one day of their life being given a chance to make a contribution to this world? How many of them have already died (26,000 children die every single day from preventable diseases), or are living now in a life shackled to grim, unforgiving circumstances, have the ability to learn and grow and accomplish miracles like curing cancer, finding new energy solutions, becoming agricultural geniuses, outstanding political leaders, pastors, ambassadors, surgeons, pediatricians for the 26,000 children dying in mothers’ arms every 24 hours, and teachers who train up another group of kids to chase their dreams and show them they are priceless, they count, they matter? It is well worth investing time and energy into these kids so they can understand the world around them and have a better quality of life right there in their own communities and beyond.

It saddens me to see slothful, whining kids portrayed in movies, in books, on tv and in person take such an incredible gift of education for granted. Would they want to trade places with the young lady I met on the bus? Not for one day could they handle her life. She is a survivor. Strong. Driven.

Will she have the opportunities needed to fulfill her dream? Only God knows. How I hope so. And how I hope other kids will mature to a point where they see their education as a gift and are thankful for it.

May this new school year be a turning point for children every to embrace their potential. And, may teachers be refreshed in knowing that they do make a difference. It’s not about numbers. It’s about lives. And making a lifelong difference in one child has the potential to change our world. Run your race strong. These children are the future of our world, our countries, our states, our communities, our neighborhoods, and our families. You, in fact, hold the future in your hands. What impact will you determine to have this year?

Here are some of my photographs from the mountain. May the images be etched in our hearts to never forget this young lady, or the many other children in this world she represents, who dare to look beyond their circumstances and chase their dreams.