Author Archives: Kristi

Rules for life

In my mind, I’m back in Kenya.  This time it is night.  We are no longer on mission.  It is the end of the trip, and we are on safari.  This place was like nothing I have ever seen.  Very eco-friendly.  Amazing!  The detached huts were spaced well apart, and the one, large dining hut was a decent walk away.  That was it.  No gates. No fences.  No trace of humanness.  Just wild, wide open space and a small, gravel path that connected the huts together.  Below us was a river that hippos splash in all day.  At any time, you can hear them grunt and moan and show off.

Everyday, we set of on safari with a guide.  Most were Maasai warriors – the real deal.  Friendly.  Strong.  Brave.  Confident.  We saw so many amazing animals up close and very personal – it took my breath away.  However, more surreal than that was nighttime.  There were clearly stated rules we had to follow.  This is what we were told, Under no circumstances, ever, do you come out of your hut at night alone.  There are predators that come to this camp, and you must not venture outside your hut.  If you need something, use this small light.  Shine it in the night, and a Masai watchman will come running to help you.  When leaving the dining lodge, you must have an escort because it will be dark.  You must NOT walk to your hut alone in the dark.  The reiterated their point several times.  Got it.

Were the hosts doing this to spoil our fun?  Absotluely not.  They were doing it to keep us safe.  After dinner one night, a small group of us huddled together to wait for a Maasai escort to go to our huts for the night.  It seemed out of nowhere, a tall, slender Maasai in a bright red kanga (a one-piece garment), holding a walking stick taller than him, appeared from the darkness.  My friend walked with him down the path, chatting as they went, when suddenly he stopped moving and shushed her.  He said, Wait.  Lion.  He cocked his ear toward the black of night and listened.  After a few seconds (which seemed like an eternity to my friend, frozen in fear) he softly spoke, Two-hundreds yards.  We’re okay.  My friend said she was about to crawl up under his kanga in fear as they continued trekking to her hut.

When it was my family’s turn, we wanted to all climb on the Maasai’s shoulders!  The danger was so real you could sense it, like smelling rain before it begins to fall. As we walked down the narrow gravel path to our hut, the Maasai shone his flashlight into the bushes inches from our feet.  I didn’t even want to know what he was looking out for.  I asked our Maasai, Do you ever get scared?  This huge warrior, donning a war-colored kanga and armed with only a spear, looked at me with his deep, dark eyes and stated firmly, No – as if I had just asked a stupid question.  Well, okay then, I thought to myself.  I didn’t bring it up again.  Later I found out that this Maasai has killed, not one, but six lions with his bare hands!  Oh…my…word! Another Maasai with our team once jumped into a hippo-infested, crocodile-plagued river to save five drowning tourists.  He jumped in and saved them all, all by himself.  Wow.  These men are modern-day superheroes!

As we slept that night in our hut, with the steel door locked and the canvas windows zipped up, the nighttime activity began.  Nighttime on the Mara is very active.  Hunting is huge at this time.  The day before we arrived, a jaguar had been seen walking through the camp.  Whoa.  They didn’t have to tell me twice to stay in our hut.  The beds lined the perimter of the hut, with our heads against the dried mud wall.  The steel door made me feel safe, but the entire backside of the hut was canvas (like a tent).  My husband jokingly said, It’s just a wrapper (as in a candy bar and we’re the treat).  Ha ha, Honey.  The lights were shut off (literally, they cut power to the rooms at 11pm).  We could not see the hand in front of our face.  But, that was kind of okay with me because that meant we couldn’t see the enormous bugs hanging on the mosquito nets that draped over our beds.

Then it began.  Thump.  Bump.  Snort.  Groan.  Moan.  Grunt.  Kick. Wham! up against the walls our heads were resting against.  The animals came.  In large number.  They were literally right outside, and only a mud wall stood between us and them.  My heart beat so hard I knew for sure every predator within miles could hear it. Hippos, zebra, wildebeests, Thompson gazelles, you name it, was there.  Oh, and at least one lion that the Maasai heard.  All night, the thumping and bumping up against our mud wall continued.  My family and I laid there, in the stark blackness, and whispered, Did you hear that?  Did you feel that?  The owners weren’t kidding when they said the danger is real.

Obviously, we survived.  In fact, we had the best time of our entire lives!!  Why? How?  Every moment we were there, we were in some kind of danger.  We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves because we obeyed the rules.  We stayed on the marked paths.  We didn’t go out after dark.  We enlisted the Maasai to help us when needed.  When near the wild animals, we didn’t call to them or disturb them.  We kept all limbs inside the open-air vehicles at all times.  We sat very, very quietly when animals passed by our Landrover.  In addition to medicine and protective clothing, we followed bug repellent guidelines so as to avoid contracting malaria.  These are examples of rules that are meant to keep us safe, not spoil our fun, while in the wild.

Living according to God’s Word is the same.  He has given us the Bible as a rulebook, of sorts, to follow.  Is this to spoil our quality of life?  No, in fact, it is to enhance it.  When we live with Christ in our heart, we desire to please God.  It’s a choice we make.  Jesus said Himself, The thief comes only to steal and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10).  In keeping God’s commandments in both the Old and New Testaments, we have freedom to really, truly, deeply live – not merely survive.

2 Timothy 3:16-17, All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Leviticus 25:18 (God speaking), Follow my decress and be careful to obey my laws, and you will live safely in the land.

Proverbs 3:5-6 promises, Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

Psalm 119:33-35, Teach me, O LORD, to follow your decrees; then I will keep them to the end.  Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart.  Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.

John 14:15 (Jesus speaking), If you love me, you will obey what I command.

Instead of resenting and testing the boundaries God has set for our lives as believers, let’s embrace them!  He has our best interest at heart and is working for our eternal good – all the time.  Dwell in God’s Word.  Absorb it.  Let it become who you are.  We will continue to sin, sinful people that we are.  But, we can minimize the difficulties we create for ourselves when living according to the standard God has set in the Bible.  In doing so, we are free to fully enjoy the life in Christ has to offer such as trust, joy, peace, and contentment.  Psalm 91:1-2 says it best, He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the LORD, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’

The Maasai have their knowledge, strength, courage, walking sticks, and handmade spears to keep them safe.  All are very impressive.  Christians have the Word of God which is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12) –  the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God (Ephesians 6:17).  In it, He’s given us everything we need to make wise choices.  Choose wisely today.

<<Check out some of my safari photos in the Photo Gallery page!>>

Hope blooms

Nature has risen from its slumber.  Flowers are in bloom, trees burst with pride over their new leaves.  The air is fresh.  Crisp.  That’s what I love about spring – everything is new.  Our family enjoys watching the seasonal birds come to and fro – especially my husband.  He takes very good care of his “woodland friends,” as he calls them, by keeping the bird feeders we have scattered across our yard well-stocked with unique mixtures of seed, thistle, corn, etc.  One feeder, however, has a design flaw.  It cannot keep squirrels away.  Squirrels are a huge part of our naturescape, and they’ve spread the word among the squirrel kingdom about this feeder.

Any time of day, I can look out my window and see them scampering all over this feeder like a superhighway, hoarding the treats inside.  The little thieves.  They run the birds off, fight with each other, and make a mess in the process dropping both shells and whole seeds on the ground in my flowerbed.  Ug.  My dog loves these bushy-tailed critters because they are fun to chase…and anything on our property is fair game to this canine.

One morning, I went outside to check on things.  I noticed a small, bright green bud poking up through the ground near the feeder.  It didn’t look like the perennials I’ve planted before.  It looked like a weed.  Call me lazy, I did nothing about it.  We watched this little bud grow bigger over time, but still couldn’t tell what it was.  I kept telling myself, just pull it up, but I was usually already doing something else and didn’t want to bother with it.

It was a hot afternoon, in the sweltering sun, when this mysterious plant made its debut.  It was indeed, not a weed, rather – a sunflower!  How in the world?  In my flowerbed are black-eyed susans, daisies, and assorted flowers and foliage I planted by hand.  I did not plant any sunflowers.  It’s not the right place for them.  They need lots of space and tons of sun.  This little guy was wedged in between plants and only received partial sun.  Nonetheless, there stood, in my flowerbed, a sunflower – perfect in every way.  I laughed to myself when I realized what happened.  At some point, a whole sunflower kernel had been knocked off the bird feeder (by a menacing squirrel, no doubt), and it germinated and produced a spectacular specimen.  Wow.

I was amazed because I did nothing to it.  I didn’t water it, nurture it, or help it in any way, because I figured whatever was growing was simply a weed.  How wrong I was.  What was presumed a worthless wonder was a wonderful treasure.  A plan had taken root within the small, black seed and unveiled a resplendent result.

Life can be like that at times.  Messy.  Upheavaled.  Unplanned.  What we see as weeds, God sees as hidden potential.  The old expression, bloom where you’re planted, is a fine message.  But, I don’t know if it’s only the bloom that should receive an applause.  Like the sunflower seed that fell off of our bird feeder, our lives have more fight in them than we may think when God’s hand is upon them.  We weather the storms, survive the droughts, and struggle to find our place in the world.  Why?  Hope.  This little word packs a big punch.  Hope is hidden potential.  Hidden potential is God’s plan for us.  When the odds are stacked against us, we’re tired and weary, and we just don’t see how anything is possible, hope tells us that the impossible is possible.  Hope is not logical, reasonable, or conceivably attainable.  But, God sees such a different perspective.  He says…

Watch Me make a way when you don’t see one (Isaiah 30:21). I have plans for your life (Philippians 1:6).  Have hope (Psalm 62:5).  Even if you give up, I’m not going to.  Never (Isaiah 40:28-31).  I created you, love you, and will never leave you (Psalm 17: 8; Psalm 139:13-14).  I will plant you, water you, make you strong, and cheer you as you grow (Isaiah 61:3b).  I will delight in your blooms and sing over you (Zephaniah 3:17).  What the world meant for harm, I will work for your good (Romans 8:28).  Everyone else may have given up and left you, but I have not and will not (Matthew 28:20; John 14:18).  Seasons of life are continually changing (Ecc. 3:1-8) – you need only to trust Me.  Continue growing in Me, and wait for the bloom (Psalm 130:5). You are beautiful now in the growing season; and will continue to be when My light is revealed through you and others see the work of My hand and praise Me (Matthew 5:16).  Don’t be afraid to ask big of Me (Ephesians 3:20-21).  I am the Good Father and you can trust Me (Matthew 7:7-11).

When we feel like we’ve been discarded by life – forgotten and useless – where we are may be right where we need to be for a new beginning.  Waiting is hard.  We want results now, but we know good things are worth the wait.  Sarah Young writes in Jesus Calling:

Waiting on Me means directing your attention to Me in hopeful anticipation of what I will do…I have promised many blessings to those who wait on Me: renewed strength, living above one’s circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of My continual presence.

We must give God time and space to work in our lives.  When we can’t see what He is doing, we know He is working twice as hard beneath the surface to fulfill His purpose for us (Ps 33:11).  Grow.  Keep growing.  Keep growing.  Wait for the bloom – what a beautiful sight, like the sunflower, you will be.

Oh, as a follow-up, it was absolutely amazing to me when, as the sunflower continued to remind me every day of hope, God’s plan, and true beauty that can come ever so unexpectedly, one day I saw another bud appear.  Another sunflower?  I thought.  Nope.  Something even more of an enigma.  It grew to be, in fact, a 4 foot tall corn stalk!  Yes!  Right there, nestled between typical flowerbed foliage and the single, sparkling sunflower, was an actual stalk of corn – born out of a corn kernel discarded by the squirrels.  Just when we think there is nothing good that can come from an experience, God does the remarkable with our leftovers and creates a work of art.  When we doubt and say There is no way, God says, Just watch me.  Never underestimate His power or plan for your life.  You just never know when a miracle will pop up.

<<Check out the two bonus companion songs to this blog on my Tunes page!>>

Selah!

Happy Selah Day!

The word selah, used repeatedly in the book of Psalms, is a Hebrew word and has a few different meanings.  Among them, it is a musical reference meaning to pause, think, stop & listen.

I like to think of Sunday, the Sabbath, as my selah day.  My peeps and I try to keep Sundays as a day of rest.  It’s hard to resist the urge to be productive as a homeowner, mother, etc.; and as someone who has a difficult time sitting still in the first place because there is always a million things to do.  But, it is one of the 10 Commandments, so we try, though not always successful, to pause and have a day of rest.  It is a time to listen to what God is saying to us without the noise of everyday work drowning out His voice.  A time for contemplation.

As a result, on Sundays, my blog will also take a day of rest.  Writing, to me, is like an itch that never feels fully scratched.  I love to write and communiate with the world.  But, for Sundays, I will rest and rejuvenate.

Today, join me in simply being.  Not doing.  Going to church helps set us in the frame of mind for resting in Him.  Take a nap, walk the dog, play with your kids, enjoy a hobby, get crazy and take two naps! – whatever is truly restful to you.  We all know that our work isn’t going anywhere, so mind as well make it wait, if at all possible, on us for a change. 🙂

I’ll be back on Monday and hope you will be, too!

Have a great selah day,

Kristi

So long, control freak

The warmer weather we’ve been blessed with this spring is good for both the body and soul.  Joggers, runners, walkers, dog-walkers, kids playing – everyone seems to be overjoyed at the temperate climate.  We, too, just have to get out and savor it!  One thing our family loves to do is bike ride.  Long rides.  Hours-long rides.  I make sure sunscreen has been applied; we check our tires for air; stock up on water and protein bars; dig out the sunglasses; make minor adjustments to our bicycle helmets; make sure everyone is wearing good socks; double-check that everyone has gone to the bathroom; grab my cell phone and a few band-aids and then set off for an adventure once Mom’s checklist is complete.  I take my job as mother very seriously.  While our chicks are in our nest, they are our responsibility.  It’s my job as a mother.  The job I’ve wanted since I was a very little girl.

One particular day, we chose to take a long ride on the less-traveled, country road versus the congested city path.  This back road is quiet and pretty.  There wasn’t another person or dog or vehicle anywhere.  My kids and I took our time cruising along the tree-lined street.  We were all well-spaced apart, because we could be on this lonely road – with no threat of danger.

I noticed my youngest son had lagged a bit behind, so I stopped my bike under a large shade tree to wait for him.  Birds sang, the breeze blew the tall, golden grass as if it were bowing down to the sun.  It was such a picturesque moment.  I was about 10 yards ahead of my little guy, patiently waiting, when all of a sudden a huge, black Suburban came barreling around the corner.  It came up behind my son like a shark locked on a target in the ocean.  My heart raced and palms began to sweat, as I stood wide-eyed and helpless – just out of reach to help my son.  I held my breath and said to myself, not wanting to startle him on his small bike, “Steady, steady, just don’t fall.”  Right as the Suburban passed him, my son hit a hole in the road and fell into the street.  I mean, exactly as the enormous vehicle whizzed by him, he fell directly into that space of road – narrowly escaping the large, heavy tires.

I gasped!  Then screamed!  Thankfully, he was okay.  The Suburban just missed him.  I ran to him, in shock of what had just happened.  We were on a desolate street.  Birds were singing, and we were enjoying such a wonderful bike ride, when in a split second everything changed.  I saw my son’s young life flash before my eyes.  Where did this vehicle come from?  Why did my son have to hit a hole in the road at the precise moment the vehicle passed by him?  Everything happened so fast. I was clearly shaken – more than him.

I asked him repeatedly if he was okay – both body and mind.  He was fine.  I was not.  He was young enough to shake it off.  I wasn’t ready to move an inch.  Not only did I witness something terrifying as a person, but this was my son and it is my job to keep him safe.  I felt like I had failed.  Miserably.  Physically, there was nothing I could do.  I was just far enough away that no matter how fast I can run, I couldn’t have intervened in the nano-second long moment.  For the rest of the long bike ride, I was haunted by the image of seeing him fall into the street, narrowly missing the large, ominous vehicle.  I replayed it over and over trying to think of anything I could’ve done to prevent the situation.  Nothing.  There was nothing I could’ve done.  That brought me back to feeling like a failure.

If you ask my husband, I can be a little over the top when it comes to keeping my kids safe.  Although this was a freak accident, I kept thinking that it must have been – in some way – my fault, because I couldn’t stop it.  Deep feelings of anxiety and angst welled up in my heart, and I nearly had to get off my bike to breathe.  That’s when God reminded me that He is the One who controls all – not me.  He is God of time and space – I am not.  He sees all, knows all, and is in all.  My job title as a mother is simply manager.  His job title as God…is God.  The two are not equal.  This was my lesson for the day.  Bad things do happen, and boy do we have stories of ER visits from school injuries, hardware store injuries, sports injuries, etc., because we live in a fallen, sinful world.  No one can escape that.  And I never thought I was God, that would be ridiculous and insane, but I had bought the lie that I could be the end-all, need-meeter for my kids.  Clearly, I cannot.  That was never written in my mommy contract.  I suppose my maternal hormones kicked in when I first became a mom and I hand-wrote an addendum to my mommy contract because Mamma Bear just can’t help it.  What that lie did was create an enormous amount of pressure on my myself to be the perfect mother.  Not to have perfect kids, but I believed that I could always be there, every time, for them.  This bike ride proved I cannot.

What I can do is release my children into God’s care.  Try as I might to be their best mother, I will fail sometimes.  A lot.  And that’s okay.  Because more than being dependent on me for every need, I want them to be dependent on God.  He is the One that knew them before they were born, knew their names first, counts every hair on their head, understands their every thought, every dream, and watches their every move – both past, present and future.  He is their all-in-all.  He’s mine, too.  Much peace returns to my heart when I remember His omnipotent presence.  Below is an excerpt from the devotional, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.

“This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control…You can feel secure, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness of My continual Presence…The One who never leaves you is the same One who never changes…As you release more and more things into My care, remember that I never let go of your hand.”

Both Psalm 139: 1-17  and Psalm 121 roll around in my mind and speak Truth to my restless mother’s heart.  When I remember who God is, I am free to be who I was called to be – a mom, saved by grace, doing the best she can.  And, I have much peace knowing that God’s got my kids in His hands, even when they aren’t holding onto mine.

Who needs grace?

Spring has sprung and sports have begun!  Fields don this year’s shade of green, uniforms are fresh and clean, and we load up the back of our van with chairs and blankets and get ready for another season to cheer on our kids.  Before we get too far into the season, however, I am reminded of a conversation I had several years ago with a fellow team mom that changed my life.  Her words come back to me often, not just in the sports arena, but in many areas of life.

Our sons were on a young flag football team together – we didn’t know each other.  During the first practice or two of a new season, it is easy to see how the team will play out.  The more experienced players rise to the top; hardly ever missing a ball, running the fastest, etc.  Everyone else seems to fall into place under them.  This mom’s son was trying so hard, but he was a bit uncoordinated and slow.  The team picked up on his sports weakness.  No one said anything, but the apprehension of his contribution to the team could be felt among the coaches, players and parents.

After practice one day, I was gathering my things when this young boy’s mom said something to me, not directed at me, rather just speaking her thoughts out loud.  She said, “I know my son isn’t a very good football player.”  Her long pause caught my attention.  She continued, “His little sister has leukemia, and she isn’t doing very well.  Our time is spent helping her, but because of football, for one hour a week, life gets to be about him.”

My eyes caught hers, and I told her I was very sorry about her daughter.  It’s all I could say.  Honestly, I was completely unprepared for her words and began to cry as I walked back to my van.  I felt a sting in my mom’s heart for this mom.  A heaviness filled my soul for her ill daughter.  Compassion overwhelmed me for their son, the football player.  To think these children, young children, had to deal with this was simply too hard to wrap my head around.

I applaud these parents who, even though they must have been extremely tired and torn between two childhoods, made their son, and his needs, a priority amidst their suffering.  I’m not a huge sports fan, and really don’t care who wins as long as everyone has tried their best, but after learning about this little guy – he won my heart.

Her words taught me a huge life lesson.  That is, we really don’t know what’s going on in somone’s life at the moment, and grace should be our first response.

Just the other day, while driving through a parking lot, I waited as a very elderly woman ever-so-slowly backed out of her parking space.  Her creeping car blocked the oncoming lane.  The driver in that lane grew so impatient she laid on her horn – loud and long.  I was embarrassed for the older woman who moved as fast as she was able.  A few more seconds and she was on her way, but now she had to deal with being startled (we all were!), and knew someone was frustrated with her.  Was waiting a few more seconds really worth the impulsive horn?

I vividly remember being in the store once and standing in the self-checkout lane.  The other self-checkout lanes were 15 items or less, but not this one.  There was no sign whatsoever.  I had a huge cart full of items we had needed for a while.  Everything from toilet paper to paper towels, soap, cleaning agents, you name it, it was in there.  I stood, zombie-like, waiting my turn.  While waiting, the lady next to me in her self-checkout lane kept eyeing me.  I knew what she was doing.  She was heaping judgement after judgement upon me for being in this lane and not in a full-service lane.  I ignored her.  However, enough time passed waiting that she just couldn’t resist.  She couldn’t hold back rebuking me.  She began, “You know, these lanes are really for people who have only a few items.”  I looked at her and mustered up a half-smile.  Oh, no sir, she wasn’t finished, “It’s just that, um, I see so much in your cart!  People usually don’t use these lanes for that much stuff,” she smugly remarked, peering into my cart. I took a deep breath, turned to her with fire in my mouth and a thousand words locked and loaded, but chose to look away.

I knew that if I had opened my mouth, what would’ve come out would’ve gone something like this, “Ma’am.  I understand you don’t think I should be in this lane.  You think I’m over quota and am wasting everyone else’s time by cheating the system.  Look!  There is no sign telling me there is a limit to items I can have in this lane.  If you must know, the reason I am in this lane is because I have had so many horrible things happen to me lately that I am on the verge of tears.  If a clerk so much as said hello, or asked how I was, I knew I would break down right here in the middle of Wal-Mart and would absolutley NOT be able to pull myself together again.  You are probably wondering what kinds of “horrible things,” so you can measure them against your life and deem if, in fact, they justify me standing in this lane.  Well, since this episode will, at the least, be a critical topic of conversation between you and whomever you choose to tell, and at most cause you to lose precious sleep, me standing in this lane with a cart full of things, I will tell you…just so you can be at rest – if indeed you agree life has been very difficult for me and thus justify me standing in this lane.  I just found out that I have mono.  No clue how I got it, but it’s reeked havoc on my life as a wife and mother.  I can’t even fix dinner.  Do you see the items in my cart?  We have none of these at home because this is my first trip out to get them.  Also, my grandmother died a few days ago – 2 miles up the road.  The woman who was a second mother to me; who gave her own life up to take care of my great-grandmother’s Alzheimer’s illness for 10 years until she died; who took care of my mother – her daughter – and her cancer until she died; who took care of my grandfather – her husband of 50+ years – and his cancer until he died; and who took me in at 16 and gave me a home instead of foster care for three years…yes, this amazing woman just died.  I was also in a car accident that totaled my van.  The hood of my van is currently lying in a ditch some 40 yards from the accident.  I was thrown against the window of my door, and after the dust from the air bag settled I, thankfully, still knew who I was.  This van was paid for, and now we have to spend who knows how much to replace it.  And we can’t replace it because it was older, but in great condition.  Now we will have a car payment which will come from who knows where.  And, I just had to put my cat to sleep.  She was 21 years old, and I’d had her since I was a teenager.  In fact, ma’am, she was my mother’s cat that I inherited when she died.  This cat has been with me through everything, and because of an irreparable health issue, she starved herself to the point of death.  With my small children screaming at me about what a mean mom I am for “killing the cat,” because they don’t understand, I had to drive my beloved cat to the vet, by myself, in the rain, and humanely end her suffering life – or what was left of it.  I could go on.  But, I won’t.  Why?  Because I am too tired, too sad, too sick, and too frustrated with you for making me talk!  I didn’t want to, couldn’t bring myself to, speak to anyone in public, which is why I am in the self-checkout, so I can check myself out!  Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to buy my toilet paper now and go home.”

That’s why I just looked away, biting my tongue and clenching my jaw.  This lady’s chastisement in front of many people left me humiliated.  What was her point?  She just couldn’t give me any grace that day.

Grace.  We all need to receive it and freely give it away.  We have no earthly idea what is happening in someone’s life, and the repercussions  from it may very well appear frustrating to others at times.  Whether on the sports field, on the road, in the store, or wherever, we need to remember to give each other the benefit of the doubt that not everyone has set out to purposefully ruin someone else’s day.  Most times people are simply trying their best to make it through another day.  The world would be an easier place to live in if we continue to remind ourselves that all of us are trying – fly or fail – and a little grace goes a long way.

<<Check out the companion song to this blog on my Tunes page!>>

I am here, my heart is there

I woke up in Africa today, if only in my heart.  We traveled to Kenya as a family last summer on a short-term mission trip, and I am convinced part of me stayed there.  If I close my eyes and draw a deep breath, I can still smell the smoke from the Masai warriors’ burned wood.  If I sink my ears into my pillow, I can hear the laughter of the hundreds of children we had the pleasure to meet.  If I dismiss the daily to-do’s waiting for me, I am able to replay the memories we made as a team and as individuals.

What I still can’t forget are the smiles.  Hundreds and hundreds of smiles shining at us.  I can’t forget the extremely special people we met.  We felt like we had known them for a lifetime.  I miss them.

And the tomatoes!  I’ve never in all my life had a tomato so sweet and delicious – you could eat them like an apple.  The smell of the night air.  Unpolluted.  Dewey. Sweet.  The fun we had!  Singing, sharing, working.  Standing on a mountain top, looking at people who have never seen white folk.  I’d never seen Kenyan tribal folk.  The language barrier – and how it really didn’t matter.  Love truly knows no language.  Smiles, playing, and just being together provided so much love we needn’t say a word.  I was captivated watching the children’s faces as they saw themselves for the first time – through my camera’s lens.  Never had some seen what they look like.  Never had they seen themselves in motion as on Bruce’s iPad.  The squeals of delight and fascination were contagious.

The poverty.  Heart-breaking poverty.  It was everywhere my eye wandered.  I couldn’t get away from it.  Even in our bunk rooms, children stood outside the door begging.  Give me sweets?  Give me Bible?  Give me sweets?  Give me Bible? they repeated over and over.  There is so much need.  They need clean water, dental hygiene, shoes, clothes that do not have gaping holes in them and that actually fit.  They need allergy medicine, education, medical care, and to hear they are loved.  My heart broke for them – with good reason.  They have many, many important needs.

However, when we asked them if they want what we have in America, they said no.  Hmm.  Why?  Because, they said, we see what it costs you to have it. Wow.  I was speechless.  They nailed it.  They are impoverished people, but they are hard-working, loving, accepting people.  They pay no attention to status, material possessions or anything that labels a person.  They are thrilled just to spend time together.  They have true community.  Something we lack.

We worked primarily with children.  It still amazes me that the entire time we were there, I heard not one single complaint from them!  Not one I’m bored, I’m tired, I don’t want to, but why, why not, I’m cold, I’m hungry, or a single negative comment.  Not one.  Children who have no parents, no shoes, no possessions to call their own.  Not even electricity or running water.

But boy were they happy!  They laughed and sang and took us by the hand and showed us their orphanages, schools, and church.  They played soccer with us, danced with us, braided my daughter’s hair, and showed us how to harvest corn in the fields.  They wanted nothing from us, but were so thankful for what we brought.  I met a boy who has the mind of an engineer, and I got to introduce a Rubik’s Cube to him.  I met a teenage girl that hopped on our bus to ride up the mountain that she climbs every day…just because she wanted to feel what it was like to ride in a vehicle.  She wants to be a teacher or doctor.

My kids fell head over heels in love with all of the children.  My daughter is still trying to convince us to adopt the special friend she made.  If only life were that easy.  My oldest teen made instant friends with another teen there who wants to be a pastor.  They were soul brothers just like that.  My youngest helped buy and cut wood with his dad, and played soccer every single day with boys his age.  They helped with VBS, led worship at church, and dug ditches to help build a kitchen onto one orphanage.  Our children were changed forever.  All of the children on the team were.  We all were.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so embedded is a video I made from the photos I took.  Watch with me.  I need to see their faces again.  Smell the dewy air.  Feel the rich soil beneath your feet.  Hear nothing but kids laughing and playing.  See the precious, beautiful Kenyan people.  They have many needs, but after being with them, I think they are some of the richest people in the world.

Someone lost a bet

On a cool, spring morning, I stood in the alcove of my church.  Palms sweating. Heart pounding.  Hands shaking.  I was about to walk down the aisle and get married.  Struggling for a deep breath, I was very sure about who and why I was getting married, but it was the what I was crumbling under.  What does our future look like?  How many kids will we have?  Will he always love me? I wish Mom were here.

Bruce and I first saw each other when I was 15 years old.  He was 19. We didn’t meet that night, but I knew, from the bottom of my soul, I was going to marry him. Two years passed without him darkening the door of our church again.  One day, he just showed up!  It was exactly one month after my mom died.  I was 16, almost 17.  He was 20 and in the Air Force.  My, oh my, how handsome he looked in uniform.  We became instant friends.  He tutored me in math (my worst subject ever!) and I graduated high school.  On my 18th birthday, he took me to a wonderful dinner and a show, then he drove us to our favorite spot on the beach. In a stokin’ hot blazer and dress pants, sweating profusely in the summer humidity, he knelt on one knee in the sand and proposed.

He and I were just beginning to find our paths in life.  I was a mess from my childhood unraveling like an old sweater – tragedy after crisis after  tragedy – and he was completing his military service.  We both knew our goal was to be college-bound, but that’s all we knew.  No money.  No help.  Just the two of us and God.

I was 19 on my wedding day.  He was 23. I mustered the courage, said a prayer under my breath, and walked the aisle to my awaiting groom.  People at the wedding took bets on how long they thought it would last.  I knew then what I still know now about the statistics for young marriages.  Statistics for a shipwreck like myself.  Statistics for not finishing college once married.  Yes, I knew all that.  But, God had this crazy plan that bucked the system.  He told me I was no longer a statistic.

Twenty-two years later, we celebrated our anniversary with our kids’ soccer and football games, a delicious Italian meal and a show.  Our three amazing kids also surprised us with breakfast in bed that morning with a pathetic, begging dog standing by – just waiting in hope for the “accidental drop” of scraps.  Over the last few days, I’ve reflected on the past 2+ decades and have come to a few conclusions:

First, someone lost a bet.  Our marriage is still rockin’ on.  With God, all things are possible.  I didn’t have to remain a victim, anymore than our marriage was destined to become one.  A fresh start with God means a fresh start.

Also, after being married this long, I feel I can have some opinions on married life.  I’m not 19 anymore, and Bruce and I have a whole lot of water under the bridge.  Sometimes the water has been calm and clear.  We could see straight through it to the treasures lying beneath the surface as we floated past.  Other times, the water has moved more swiftly with life’s current.  We’ve learned the value and benefit of remaining adaptable to the changing flow that can rock the boat.  Still other times, our boat has capsized in the ominous, raging river.  Life’s storms have been unpredictable, overwhelming and difficult enough to make us want to attempt to swim to shore.  I’m so glad we hung onto the overturned boat and rode it out.

That’s the focus of my recent thoughts.  I’ve been married to Bruce longer than my entire life before him.  We joke that we finished growing up together.  I love what someone once said, and if I could remember who it was I would quote them – you marry not one person, but many.  Meaning, Bruce and I have changed a lot over the years.  With those changes, we’ve had to adapt to a new normal…many times.  But it’s been well worth it.  Through frightening illness with the kids, car accidents, moving, injuries, surgeries, job loss, family deaths, and a myriad of things we’ve gone through together, we continue to reap the benefits of staying married – trust, comfort, and joy to name a few.

I look at Bruce today and know exactly what he’s thinking.  He can say the same about me.  I know so much about him, but because he is constantly changing, as I am as well, life is never boring.  He told me just the other day that he no longer prefers his beloved hazelnut coffee creamer (shocker!).  He also told me his entire vision of what He believes God has for our family is shifting.  Whoa.  Okay.  I am so glad that we haven’t give up on God – who promises to help us – nor on each other, because I like who Bruce is today and I like our marriage.  Whether things are smooth sailing or we are working hard to patch a leak in the boat, we’ve got each other to travel this crazy river of life.

There is no promise for a problem-free life, but God offers immeasurable joy when He is the captain of the boat.  Keep rowing.  Keep investing in each other.  If the boat tips over, hang on and ride out the storm.  Then climb back into the boat.

Paul said it best in Philippians 4:12-13, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.”

This sounds familiar.  Oh yes, Bruce and I took an oath under God when we got married – for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish ’till death due us part.  I am content, not because Bruce or I know how to beat the odds on our own, but because we have discovered that the power of Christ in our marriage can weather the storms and show us that marriage, indeed, is a beautiful journey when we stay in the boat and enjoy the ride together.

<<See the companion song to this blog on my Tunes page!>>

Easter Ideas – part 3 of 3

A few more ideas…I’d love to hear yours, too!  Let me know what makes your family’s Easter special.

13. Corsage – This tradition began with my great-grandmother.  Every Easter (and Mother’s Day) the mothers in our family are presented with a beautiful corsage to wear for the day.  Maybe it’s an old Southern thing, I don’t know, but it is a tender way to show appreciation and respect for the matriarchs of the family.  I will never forget after the birth of our first child, I was given a corsage to wear the next Easter.  It felt almost like a rite of passage into motherhood, and every year since I wear them proudly.  Corsages are available seasonally in the floral section of the grocery store, but the florist can also make one using almost any type of flower.

14. Egg Hunt & Bunny Store – Okay, so who doesn’t love an Easter egg hunt?  From little ones who squeal in delight over finding the colorful egg hiding beneath the bushes to the teen who says, “Hey!  It’s free candy!” most kids won’t pass up the opportunity to partake in an egg hunt (provided said older kids are in the respective comfort zone of their family or friends – not at lunchtime at school!).  And for the older ones, a bonus of being a parent is to drive them crazy putting them in places so hard they almost think the free candy isn’t worth it.  Ha!

Between church and Easter dinner, there’s always this lag time when there isn’t a lot of structure.  Some people take naps, some scurry in the kitchen, and some have egg hunts.  It’s just fun.  No, there isn’t really any deep meaning to it, but it’s family quality time and that’s okay!

Here’s how we roll:

Stuff a tons of plastic eggs (that we reuse every year) with something small – like a single piece of candy.  Add to that Bunny Money.  Years ago, my sister and I came up with this idea and it stuck ever since.  We created paper Bunny Money (about the size of Monopoly money), fold it and stuff it in the eggs.

Bunny Money

What does one buy with the money? Glad you asked!  Coupons (we made simple ones on the pc like the money above).  The kids buy coupons for things like: free pass on a chore, you pick dinner, stay up late one hour, iTunes song of your choice, you pick dessert, etc.  Things that make kids smile!  They “buy” these coupons at the Bunny Store set up outside.  It may also have a couple of trinkets (typically something useful for summer like splash balls, diving sticks, etc.  When they were younger it included bubbles, sidewalk chalk, etc.).  These are items that we would probably need to restock anyway, and they see it as a gift – win win!  And, this helps reduce the amount of candy consumed.

15. Easter Garden – This is new to use this year, and we cannot wait to make it!  In fact, we’ve already gathered the elements simply from walking around the house and yard.  What a great idea!  It’s beautiful, meaningful and we will use ours as the centerpiece on the table for Easter dinner.  Thanks to everyone online for sharing this super idea!  There are several versions.  Here are some we found: Easter Garden by Ann Voskamp, Easter Garden 2, Easter Garden 3 and many more on the web or create your very own!

16. Resurrection Cookies – For those who have patiently read to the end, we have an extra sweet idea to celebrate Easter.  One of our all-time favorite Easter tradition is to bake Easter cookies (or Resurrection Cookies).  But wait…they are definitely NOT your typical cookie!  Every ingredient, every step has a special meaning and Scripture to back it.  Don’t be fooled by the ingredients.  These cookies are delicious!  We first received this recipe through our preschool.  The best I know is that the recipe was originally created by Wanda Long and appeared in Home Life magazine.  Bon a petit! Click for recipes: Resurrection Cookies and Resurrection Rolls (different version, very cool and tasty – creator, unknown).

So there is my dissertation of Easter ideas.  Hope they’ve helped get the creative juices flowing for your Easter this year.  If you try any of these, I’d love to see photos!  Also to mention, although we do most of these traditions every year, we definitely do not cram them all in a few days.  We spread them out over a couple of weeks.  Easter shouldn’t be exhausting or merely a list of to-do’s.  I encourage you to take the time to ponder Jesus’ cruxifiction and resurrection, have fun with your family, and spend time with the One who died to give you eternal life.

Easter Ideas – part 2 of 3

More Easter ideas… 🙂

7. Passion of the Christ – Within the holy week, preferably the night before Easter, our family (only including kids 12+) watches this movie every year.  We do not allow any of our children (including teens) to watch R rated movies, but this is the exception.  Once they are old enough to understand that it was for each of our sins that Christ was tortured and nailed to the cross, this movie is an excellent resource to attempt to capture the pain He endured, as well as Jesus’ endless love for us in that it was His choice to suffer physical, spiritual, emotional and mental agony so that we could be reconciled to God (John 10:17-18).

8. Egg Hunt Service Project – The whole family can help bring Easter to those in need.  Find an organization (church, non-profit, etc.) that is hosting  an Easter egg hunt for those less fortunate and help provide candy, stuff eggs, transport & set out eggs, or participate with others in the event.

9. Soup Kitchen – Choose this time of year to help provide a meal for those in need.  Join forces with a church, non-profit, or food bank and spend part of Easter weekend (or any weekend!) helping cook, serve or clean-up.  Or, volunteer with Meals On Wheels or another such organization and help deliver a meal to the elderly or shut-ins.  It’s a beautiful way to get to know your community and demonstrate the hands and feet of Christ to your children.

10. Invite Someone To Easter Dinner – In addition to people regularly included in this day with you, invite a widow, neighbors, or someone without family in town or with whom to spend Easter day.  This is a wonderful opportunity to build bridges, make new friends, and is exactly the kind of thing Jesus was drawn to.

11. Dying Easter eggs – The smell of vinegar any time of year always brings me back to dying Easter eggs.  While many people love this tradition, what helped our family enjoy it more was to move the whole thing outdoors.  Food dye can be tricky to get out of counters and clothes, so we set up an old cardboard table, throw some old t-shirts over our clothes and have a ball.  No need to worry about spills, drips or eggs splashing down into the dye-filled cups.  This is a great activity to get toddlers to grandparents involved in and just play!  (I love watching the egg themes change over the years as our kids get older.)  It also lets us get outside to enjoy the springtime beauty, and makes for a really nice photo op for all of us scrapbookers out there.

12. Easter baskets – This is one of our favorite Easter traditions, and no, our children have not outgrown them. 🙂  Rather than filling baskets with endless jelly beans and dollar-store toys that break in a day, we take this opportunity to intentionally bring the baskets back to the focus of the real reason for Easter:

* An Easter basket is a great time to give children of any age a yearly devotional.  Our children’s devotionals are pretty worn out by the end of a year, so every year I spend time picking out a devotional that is right for their age and season of life.  (They begin the new one on Easter, so for us, that day is our “new year.”)  I would recommend some, but there is an abundance of devotionals out there, and it really depends on what fits your child the best.  Simply go to Amazon.com and type in keywords: devotions for kids, devotions for teens, devotions for girls, devotions for boys, etc.  A plethora will come up for ages from very young to graduates.  To offset the stimulate overload, you may want to go to a Christian bookstore (some mainstream stores also have devotionals, but their selection is quite limited) and there you can thumb through the devotionals and find just the right one – local stores also have good coupons this time of year.  Set aside a good hour for this, but it’s totally worth it.  Here’s a couple to start your search: Random Thoughts, God’s Little Devotional for Boys, God’s Little Devotional for Girls and Josh McDowell’s Youth Devotions.

* To that, we add a couple of extra divinely inspired books (i.e., Stormie Omartian’ s prayer books for kids & teens, When Teens Pray, Hot Chocolate with God, God Girl & God Girl devotional, and the Chicken Soup Christian series for children, preteens & teens).   Books are an investment for the soul and a great basket filler!  This is something I see us continuing for their entire lives – giving our one-day grown children Bible studies, Christian fiction, biographies, etc. at Easter.

* A special bookmark or small piece of jewelry (cross necklace or earrings, etc.) are also nice touches and functional, too.

* With warmer weather approaching, we also include in their baskets a cool Christian t-shirt.  Something fun and funky and fits their personalities.  There are some really great ones out there and can be found online and in local Christian bookstores.

* We include one special item in the basket for each child.  The gift changes year-to-year, but we keep it on a budget.  As parents, we do not give our children toys, video games, etc. throughout the year (only on birthdays and certain holidays), so we take great delight in treating them with a total surprise in their basket.

* Minimizing candy, we pick out only our children’s very favorite treats and put a few of those in the basket.  It’s easy to pass up the abundance of sugar when focusing only on their favorites…and not overbuying keeps the budget down, too.

More ideas to come in part 3…

Easter Ideas – part 1 of 3

Easter is a time of year for reflection, introspection and celebration!  It’s a time in life when Christians ponder the highs and lows of our Savior’s last days on earth.  We walk through Jesus’ timeline, pausing to consider each word or act He said and did both in the public eye as well as within the intimacy of a chosen few.  It’s also an incredibly beautiful time of year.  Who can’t help but smile at the new woodland creatures discovering their world, or feel rejuvenated by the scent of flowers in bloom?  Grass finds its yearly shade of green, and we begin to pull out recipes for salads, grilling, and smoothies.  However, like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day and other holidays, it can become convoluted with diluted distractions that turn our eye from the cross and onto things that actually have nothing to do with the real meaning of Easter – the ressurrection of Christ.

My family is all about rediscovering the unfathomable sacrifice Jesus gave us at Easter.  We also enjoy exploring creation that so resplendently shows off God’s handiwork at springtime.  How do we enjoy both, without losing focus on Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection?  Some friends have asked me to post some traditions our family enjoys during the Easter season.  I hope you like the ideas and use them if they work for you.   We’d love to know what your family does, so feel free to post your ideas, too.  Have fun!

1. Corn husk crosses.  Every year, my mother-in-law sends each of us a handmade corn husk cross.  It’s simple to make and costs nothing.  They last year after year, so we collect them and use them with our Easter decorations, like sticking them in the basket of colored faux eggs on the kitchen table, to quietly reaffirm the true meaning of Easter.  This is a great craft for kids to make and give away to friends, neighbors, or as a service project for teens to give away. (Side note: One year, our mail was stolen from our mailbox just before Easter…yep, the crosses were in there.  We knew that whoever took our mail would find the crosses, and then hopefully find Jesus!)

Corn Husk Crosses

2. Resurrection Eggs – Beginning twelve days before Easter, we gather as a family each night and work our way through the eggs .  After several years of using them the kids know what is in each one, yet still it amazes me (even at their older ages now) how much they look forward to them.  It’s a great way to reiterate Scripture so they know it is history and not just a story.  Resurrection Eggs are sold online, and I’ve also seen them at Wal-Mart and local Christian booksellers.  The accompanying picture book, Benjamin’s Box, is lovely, however the eggs come with Scripture sufficient for enjoying the eggs.

3. Easter plate – Opinions vary about the Easter Bunny.  This is a family matter, but I will suggest what we’ve done.  For the younger years, we put out a plate for the EB with carrots on it.  However, the plate makes the difference in the message we send to the kids.  We bought ours from Abbey Press.  Check it out below!  We really liked that it helped bridge the two.  I couldn’t find this one currently for sale on the internet, but you could paint one yourself, which nowadays is pretty easy.  Ceramic painting kits are available in the kid craft section of Target, Wal-Mart, Michael’s, Hobby Lobby, etc.  Or, if you feel extra creative, you could spend a little time at a do-it-yourself pottery store and design one.

Easter plate

4. Books – When little children aren’t so little anymore, Easter Bunny, Are You For Real? by Harold Myra is a great book that helps explain the tradition of the EB. (Shh – there’s one about Santa, too.)

5. More books – Speaking of reading, some favorite books we pulled out for many Easters are Only God Would’ve Planned It That Way by Todd Barsness and Easter ABC’s by Isabel Anders.

6. Tenebrae service – Attend a Tenebrae service at church.  This is a solemn service offered within the last three days of the holy week.  It symbolizes the seriousness of the suffering Christ endured for our sin.  This inspiring opportunity is great for families with children who can sit quietly for 30min-1hour.  All ages are touched by the dramatic silence, soft music, candles, communion and prayer.

More ideas to come in part 2…