Tag Archives: faith

Holy Week, Thursday

Today is Thursday of Holy Week.  Have you felt God stirring in your heart?  I have.  I am filled with a swelling of anticipation for what we will celebrate on Sunday, otherwise known as Resurrection Day!  Why does this day excite me?  I am a sinner saved by grace.  I have done nothing to earn my salvation; rather I received the gift of eternal life freely by believing who Jesus is and what He did for me – and for everyone.

Christ chose to make Himself the final blood sacrifice and stood in the place for each of us. I am overwhelmed with love and gratitude.  God, in His infinite wisdom, holiness, and righteousness, spared His wrath from us because He allowed His Son to bear it instead.  This awesome thought draws us to today’s focus…mercy.

God is mercy.  He created it and defines it.

How tender His heart must be!  He looks upon the earth and, despite its condition, still feels mercy toward it.  His children call Him by name, and He cannot forget them.  When we accepted Christ, He made a covenant with us, and since God is holy and sinless, He cannot go back on His covenant – even if/when we do.

I recall times over the years when each of my children have come to me crying over something they had done.  With sobs and crocodile tears, they fell into my arms with regret and seeking forgiveness.  I, too clearly, remember times as a child (and as an adult) when I have been the one upset to tears over bad choices.

As a child, I wanted forgiveness from my mom more than anything.  I absolutely needed to have it to sleep, to have peace and to have a re-do with her.  As a parent, my heart melts when one of my children earnestly come seeking resolution through confession and a sincere heart.  I am moved and cannot withhold my forgiveness – nor can I hold a grudge.  I look at them (discipline aside) and think, They have so much to learn.  May they learn from this and let it be a strength for them to make a better decision the next time they are in this situation.  I think God looks at us much the same way.

We are made in His image.  We, His children, are part of His family.  He wants us. He wants things to be right between Him and us.  He defines compassion, and pours it over our souls like a warm bath.  His mercy is the big hug a parent gives, the hand that wipes away the tears, and the words that say, I forgive you.

God is holy.  Accountability is a must if we want to grow in Christ.  But, we are spared the eternal penalty for our sins because Jesus paid our debt on the cross. God’s mercy allows us to approach His throne room, seek His face, talk with Him, and be with Him forever – never to be eternally separated again.

We don’t deserve His mercy, but in His love and holiness He bestows it on us anyhow because He forgives, forgets, and doesn’t hold a grudge.  What a good and mighty God we serve.

Scriptures to meditate on…

* Lamentations 3:23, Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

* Psalm 103:14, 

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.

* Deuteronomy 4:31, For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath.

* Nehemiah 9:30-31, For many years you were patient with them. By your Spirit you admonished them through your prophets. Yet they paid no attention, so you handed them over to the neighboring peoples.  But in your great mercy you did not put an end to them or abandon them, for you are a gracious and merciful God.

<<Check out the companion song to this blog on my Tunes page!>>

Holy Week, Wednesday

Do you love a good deal on everyday products?  I do.  Coupons, BOGOs, % off, clearance, sales. I hardly ever pay full price for anything.  Full price these days seems obsurd in this economy.  Then there is the wheelin’ and dealin’ when it comes to buying cars, homes – big ticket items.  Negotiating is something I can’t stand to do.  My husband is good at it, though.  Even big stuff is talked down to levels (hopefully) that makes one sleep a little better at night.

Commercials scream sales, billboards boast the best for less, and radios loop bargains over and over.  The over-stimulus of it all is mind-boggling.  We are well used to getting good deals.  However, with God, there is no such thing as a sale, deal, or negotiating.  God is holy.  He cannot be dickered with, out-talked, dumbed-down, or anything else that negates the preciousness of His holiness.

What He commands is respect, holy fear (reverence), and obedience.  Have we lost sight of this?  We are used to getting something for nothing, or next to nothing.  That’s not at all what happened on the cross two thousand years ago.  For  thousands of years, the only rectification or atonement for sin was blood sacrifice.  Period.  No two-for-one, bonus days, or friends & family discounts.  Complete blood sacrifice – exactly the way God outlined it in the Old Testament.  In other words…full price.

Full price is exactly what it cost God to end the separation between Him and us caused by our sin.  Full price is what Jesus paid for every single human being.  For God, it cost Him giving His perfect Son up for us.  For Christ, it was being separated from His Father, charged and punished for sin He never committed, and in the process enduring unimaginable pain and suffering – without saying a word in His defense.

A cost that split the temple curtain (6 feet thick) in two from top to bottom; the sun hid in despair; the earth quaked in fear; and time was forever split B.C. and A.D.  A cost that changed the hearts of many priests who had spearheaded His death; froze guards into near dead men; moved a boulder; sent angels in tangible form; gave over 500 people a visitation from Christ after He rose again; and blew rushing wind of the Holy Spirit through closed rooms at Pentecost.

Full price.  Can we wrap our heads around it in this day and age?  Can we stop looking for a bargain in religion, wanting something for nothing, long enough to understand that it cost Christ absolutely everything to close the gap between God and us?  And, can we accept that what Christ demands from us is our all – even our lives?  Wow.  We’re used to being the negotiators.  Not this time.  Never.

Consider on this Holy Week of Wednesday that God is holy.  Step out of our norm and into the throneroom of God with reverence, respect and obedience.  We submit to His authority.  We humble ourselves in His perfect presence.  We worship Christ, who died so we can live, and He lives with us and in us.

God is holy.  Let’s meditate on this today.  Let it sink deep in our souls.  Let it sober our minds.  Let it pierce our hearts as we walk each day closer to the cross, with a better understanding of the price, the full price, it cost both God and Christ, to save us.

Scripture to meditate on…

* Isaiah 6:1-5 (Isaiah’s commission),

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another:   “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.”
Praise the LORD.I will extol the LORD with all my heart
in the council of the upright and in the assembly.

Great are the works of the LORD;
they are pondered by all who delight in them.

Glorious and majestic are his deeds,
and his righteousness endures forever.

He has caused his wonders to be remembered;
the LORD is gracious and compassionate.

He provides food for those who fear him;
he remembers his covenant forever.

He has shown his people the power of his works,
giving them the lands of other nations.

The works of his hands are faithful and just;
all his precepts are trustworthy.

They are steadfast for ever and ever,
done in faithfulness and uprightness.

He provided redemption for his people;
he ordained his covenant forever—
holy and awesome is his name.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
all who follow his precepts have good understanding.
To him belongs eternal praise.

* 2 Samuel 24:18-19, 21-24 

On that day Gad went to David and said to him, “Go up and build an altar to the LORD on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite.” 19 So David went up, as the LORD had commanded through Gad.Araunah said, “Why has my lord the king come to his servant?”“To buy your threshing floor,” David answered, “so I can build an altar to the LORD, that the plague on the people may be stopped.”22 Araunah said to David, “Let my lord the king take whatever pleases him and offer it up. Here are oxen for the burnt offering, and here are threshing sledges and ox yokes for the wood. 23 O king, Araunah gives all this to the king.” Araunah also said to him, “May the LORD your God accept you.”24 But the king replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.”So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen and paid fifty shekels of silver for them.
* 2 Chronicles 7:1-4  (The Dedication of the Temple)
 1 When Solomon finished praying, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices, and the glory of the LORD filled the temple. 2 The priests could not enter the temple of the LORD because the glory of the LORD filled it. 3When all the Israelites saw the fire coming down and the glory of the LORD above the temple, they knelt on the pavement with their faces to the ground, and they worshiped and gave thanks to the LORD, saying,   “He is good; his love endures forever.”4 Then the king and all the people offered sacrifices before the LORD.

<<Check out the companion songs to this blog on my Tunes page!>>

Holy Week, Tuesday

This week is holy week for Christians all around the world.  Let’s spend this week intentionally reflecting on Jesus, what He did for us, and who He is to us.  Each day, we can take an aspect of our faith and contemplate on it throughout the day.  Whether in word, song, prayer, or written, join me in remember what this week is about (and it’s not just for spring break! :))

Today, the focus is on God’s love for us.  After all, He loved us before we loved Him.  Holy week brings us closer to the culmination of God’s love for us through Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection.  Today, we begin by focusing on the amazing Truth that God, who created the universe, loves us.

Here are some Scriptures to pray and meditate on:

Psalm 57:10 – For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. 

John 3:16 – For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 5:8 – But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

Ephesians 2:4 – But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 

1 John 4:10 – This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  

Today:

1. Acknowledge His love.  Either write down or simply tell yourself (or others!) three ways God has shone you that He loves you.

2. Thank Him for His love for you.

3. Pick one way to show Him your love in return.  Be creative!  Some ideas are…

* Forgive someone you’ve been holding unforgiveness toward

* Show His love by doing something nice for someone else

* Obey Him in an area you’ve been avoiding

* Simply praise Him!

As you move about your day, remember, God loves you.  It’s not a cliche, it is Truth.  Wrap yourself in it; surrender to it; accept it; savor it.  We’ll meet here again tomorrow to continue our faith jounrey through holy week.

<<Check out the companion songs to this song on my Tunes page!>>

Goodnight, God

Dear God,

You’ve brought us through another day.  Your hand provided, your mercy comforted, and your sense of humor lightened the load.  Thank you for the blessings you richly give – love, peace, contentment, patience, humor, grace, and joy to name a few.  I’ve thought about you a lot today.  Everytime I whispered a prayer, I knew you heard it because your Presence was with me.

I can’t really explan it, but every time I needed you most, you were right there before I could even call to you! Quietly, calmly, tenderly working; the hand of the Potter on the clay.  Thank you for giving me the stamina and passion for the day. No matter what I had to do – I know you and me, we did it together.

Thank you for giving me wisdom and discernment to make big decisions today.  It was your steady presence that helped me remain steady.  When something near to my heart spontaneously brought me to tears, you were right there with your hand on my shoulder telling me you know, you see, you care about broken hearts, and you understand – when no one else does.  You let that moment not ruin the rest of my day.  Thank you.  When another familiar moment came that stings my heart, you were right there, Master Surgeon, soothing its pain and replacing suffering with deep contentment and peace for which I have no words.

For the times today that were rich in fellowship with friends and family – you let me deeply experience their love towards me – fully.  I am blessed beyond words with those you have brought into my life.  Our time together is water for my soul. Their love & friendship reminds me that they have my back – as do you.

You allowed me to see the kindness of strangers, twice today.  Both times brought me immense joy!  There is still good in the world, because it’s your world, God, and you are here about the business of it.

I have no idea how you did it, but you let me accomplish all that had to be done today in record time!  You made the work of two people, done by one, managable.  Thank you.

For the gift of today.  Your love.  Family.  Friends.  Good health.  Hard work.  Kindness of strangers.  Laughter and sharing with those who love me and I them.  Thank you.

You are good, God.  Not just for what you do, but for who you are.  We praise you because only you are God!  There is no other name greater.  All the time, you are good.

It’s night and the world it quiet – for just a little while.  We rest in your presence and in your peace.  Two things the world cannot take away.  You are everything to me.  If you choose to bless me with tomorrow, we will tackle the issues, savor the victories, and share every single moment in between together.  Not a breath do I dare take without you.  Nor would I want to.

You hold the plans. I hold your hand. And that is what sweet dreams are made of.

Goodnight, God.

Bedtime reading…

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Spittin’ image

It was a hot, hurried day.  I needed to get in and get out of the large store quickly in order to meet a deadline.  At long last, I found a coveted parking space.  Pulling in, I looked up and saw a man walking to his car.  I turned off my engine and stared at him.  He never saw me.  I couldn’t take my eyes off of him…he looked just like my dad.  So many different emotions stirred in my heart.  I lost my dad to cancer a couple of months ago.

I simply watched this man load his car and drive away – wide-eyed at how much they look alike both physcially and in their mannerisms.  Seeing this person put my mind back in the hosptial during the last 2 days of my dad’s life.  It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  We brought the kids, though we had many offers to let them stay back.  It was our 4th trip to see him in 3 months – shortening the window with every declining turn of his health.  We received an email from family saying, “Come now.”  We knew this was it.   On a Tuesday afternoon, I threw some clothes together, called my dear friend to take the dog, Bruce literally stood up from his desk at work and left for home.  I ran carpool from school, and in an hour we were out the door and on the highway.

All of us stood around my dad’s hospital bed and tried to think of positive things to say.  He labored with every struggling breath.  I tried to understand the medcial jargon about his condition, but much of it just rolled off.  We knew the inevitable.  I had something else I wanted to talk about with him.

My mom was only in my life for the first sixteen years before she died.  My dad – just the last eight.  It’s a God-story of redemption, forgiveness, and re-do’s.  For now, I will say we’ve had a wonderfully close relationship for these eight years, and I can’t imagine them being over so quickly.

The kids held his hands, maneuvering around the tubes and needles attached to them.  My daughter put on her granddaddy’s beloved baseball cap on her head and it made him smile.  Our first visit with him was pretty good.  He was able to speak a word or two between heavy breaths and could at least mentally track with the chatter in the room.  We stayed until 11pm and were so tired after a full day, a highway’s drive, and several hours of visiting; so we left to find a hotel for a little sleep.  Finally, we found one with availability.  We got to bed around 12:30am and were back at the hospital that morning.

We arrived to find out he had almost passed during the night.  This was a totally different person lying in the hospital bed.  He was much worse.  The kids knew, too.  They kissed him on the cheek, held his hand, and spoke softy to him.  The oygen machines rumbled loudly in the background.  Although some of us were fighting colds, the nurse said we needn’t wear the safety mask so we could spend some priceless face-to-face time with him.

What do you say to a dying man – who is your dad?  I was at a loss for words as I choked back tears.  I prayed that God would give me the right words.  After my prayer, I looked up and saw my dad’s Bible on the bed tray.  That was the answer.  I picked it up and thumbed through it to any highlighted passages he may have noted.  Indeed, we found some.  I read as many as I could find, standing over my limp, quiet dad.  God spoke to my heart to read Psalm 23.  After reading it, his wife looked at me with wet eyes and said, That is my favorite Scripture.  I didn’t know that, but God did.  He even met her need in that tender moment.  It was precious time.  God is good.

With my husband, kids and one stepsister in the room, I asked everyone if I could have a moment alone with my dad.  They were much obliged.  I sat on the edge of his bed, trying hard to not let his labored breathing get the best of me, and leaned in close to his ear so he could hear me.  This would be the last time I would get to talk with him this side of heaven, thus, I was tied up in knots and didn’t know what to say.  God spoke to my heart and encouraged me to say what I needed to.  So I did – respectfully, to a dying man.

I gently placed my hand on his arm and said, I’m so sorry this is happening to you.  I’m sorry I can’t fix this.  He raised his head, turned toward me, and looked at me with crystal clear eyes.  Though all morning he could not show a repsonse, in that moment, he was all there.  Our eyes caught, mine welling with tears.  I continued, No one knows how long they have on this earth.  But, I need to ask a favor of you.  If you get to heaven before me, will you please tell Mom that I love her?  I burst into tears (something I rarely do) and began to beg.  This is really important.  I need you to do this for me.  Will you promise?  He nodded his head yes.  Thank you, I replied with relief under my breath.  There was something else I needed to say.  I love you.  It was the first time I had ever said it eye-to-eye, with heartfelt sincerity.  He nodded again and mouthed, I love you, too, back to me. He passed away just hours later.

As I sat in my van in the large parking lot, staring at a stranger, the door to my grief began to rattle.  After my dad died, we came back for his memorial service, then it was one thing after the next including Christmas, New Year’s, my husband’s surgery, another family death, pneumonia for one of our children, our car broke down, a back injury for me, etc.  Literally, every day was a new crisis.  We are coming out of crisis mode, thankfully, but I am left with the stark realization that I haven’t even begun to morn his death.  I’m stuck in phase one of grief – shock & denial.  He was sick for a short time, and I am dazed and stunned at the fact that he’s gone.  He was just teaching our children how to give the car a tune-up under the hood a couple of months before.  He was wrestling, being silly, winning in chess, and enjoying Mexican food and hot sauce – his favorite.  Now there is a quietness that can’t be shaken.  His name is still on my emails and on my cell phone.  I can’t seem to bring myself to change them.

Eight short years.  My tears are not over the past and what was, they are over the future and what will never be in this lifetime.  Seeing that man, who could’ve been my dad’s twin, created a fault line in my heart that cannot be denied.  Yes, I will grieve.  It will take time.  A lot of time.  My family history is complicated, but God is the Master Healer and He can make sense of the things in this world that make no sense.  I may not ever understand it all, but that’s okay.  I find peace resting in God’s hands as my dad rejoices in His presence.

Scripture to ponder…

1 Corinthians 13:12, Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know in full, even as I am fully known. 

Revelation 7:17, For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water.  And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.

<< Check out the companion song to this blog on my Tunes page!>>

Rules for life

In my mind, I’m back in Kenya.  This time it is night.  We are no longer on mission.  It is the end of the trip, and we are on safari.  This place was like nothing I have ever seen.  Very eco-friendly.  Amazing!  The detached huts were spaced well apart, and the one, large dining hut was a decent walk away.  That was it.  No gates. No fences.  No trace of humanness.  Just wild, wide open space and a small, gravel path that connected the huts together.  Below us was a river that hippos splash in all day.  At any time, you can hear them grunt and moan and show off.

Everyday, we set of on safari with a guide.  Most were Maasai warriors – the real deal.  Friendly.  Strong.  Brave.  Confident.  We saw so many amazing animals up close and very personal – it took my breath away.  However, more surreal than that was nighttime.  There were clearly stated rules we had to follow.  This is what we were told, Under no circumstances, ever, do you come out of your hut at night alone.  There are predators that come to this camp, and you must not venture outside your hut.  If you need something, use this small light.  Shine it in the night, and a Masai watchman will come running to help you.  When leaving the dining lodge, you must have an escort because it will be dark.  You must NOT walk to your hut alone in the dark.  The reiterated their point several times.  Got it.

Were the hosts doing this to spoil our fun?  Absotluely not.  They were doing it to keep us safe.  After dinner one night, a small group of us huddled together to wait for a Maasai escort to go to our huts for the night.  It seemed out of nowhere, a tall, slender Maasai in a bright red kanga (a one-piece garment), holding a walking stick taller than him, appeared from the darkness.  My friend walked with him down the path, chatting as they went, when suddenly he stopped moving and shushed her.  He said, Wait.  Lion.  He cocked his ear toward the black of night and listened.  After a few seconds (which seemed like an eternity to my friend, frozen in fear) he softly spoke, Two-hundreds yards.  We’re okay.  My friend said she was about to crawl up under his kanga in fear as they continued trekking to her hut.

When it was my family’s turn, we wanted to all climb on the Maasai’s shoulders!  The danger was so real you could sense it, like smelling rain before it begins to fall. As we walked down the narrow gravel path to our hut, the Maasai shone his flashlight into the bushes inches from our feet.  I didn’t even want to know what he was looking out for.  I asked our Maasai, Do you ever get scared?  This huge warrior, donning a war-colored kanga and armed with only a spear, looked at me with his deep, dark eyes and stated firmly, No – as if I had just asked a stupid question.  Well, okay then, I thought to myself.  I didn’t bring it up again.  Later I found out that this Maasai has killed, not one, but six lions with his bare hands!  Oh…my…word! Another Maasai with our team once jumped into a hippo-infested, crocodile-plagued river to save five drowning tourists.  He jumped in and saved them all, all by himself.  Wow.  These men are modern-day superheroes!

As we slept that night in our hut, with the steel door locked and the canvas windows zipped up, the nighttime activity began.  Nighttime on the Mara is very active.  Hunting is huge at this time.  The day before we arrived, a jaguar had been seen walking through the camp.  Whoa.  They didn’t have to tell me twice to stay in our hut.  The beds lined the perimter of the hut, with our heads against the dried mud wall.  The steel door made me feel safe, but the entire backside of the hut was canvas (like a tent).  My husband jokingly said, It’s just a wrapper (as in a candy bar and we’re the treat).  Ha ha, Honey.  The lights were shut off (literally, they cut power to the rooms at 11pm).  We could not see the hand in front of our face.  But, that was kind of okay with me because that meant we couldn’t see the enormous bugs hanging on the mosquito nets that draped over our beds.

Then it began.  Thump.  Bump.  Snort.  Groan.  Moan.  Grunt.  Kick. Wham! up against the walls our heads were resting against.  The animals came.  In large number.  They were literally right outside, and only a mud wall stood between us and them.  My heart beat so hard I knew for sure every predator within miles could hear it. Hippos, zebra, wildebeests, Thompson gazelles, you name it, was there.  Oh, and at least one lion that the Maasai heard.  All night, the thumping and bumping up against our mud wall continued.  My family and I laid there, in the stark blackness, and whispered, Did you hear that?  Did you feel that?  The owners weren’t kidding when they said the danger is real.

Obviously, we survived.  In fact, we had the best time of our entire lives!!  Why? How?  Every moment we were there, we were in some kind of danger.  We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves because we obeyed the rules.  We stayed on the marked paths.  We didn’t go out after dark.  We enlisted the Maasai to help us when needed.  When near the wild animals, we didn’t call to them or disturb them.  We kept all limbs inside the open-air vehicles at all times.  We sat very, very quietly when animals passed by our Landrover.  In addition to medicine and protective clothing, we followed bug repellent guidelines so as to avoid contracting malaria.  These are examples of rules that are meant to keep us safe, not spoil our fun, while in the wild.

Living according to God’s Word is the same.  He has given us the Bible as a rulebook, of sorts, to follow.  Is this to spoil our quality of life?  No, in fact, it is to enhance it.  When we live with Christ in our heart, we desire to please God.  It’s a choice we make.  Jesus said Himself, The thief comes only to steal and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10).  In keeping God’s commandments in both the Old and New Testaments, we have freedom to really, truly, deeply live – not merely survive.

2 Timothy 3:16-17, All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Leviticus 25:18 (God speaking), Follow my decress and be careful to obey my laws, and you will live safely in the land.

Proverbs 3:5-6 promises, Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

Psalm 119:33-35, Teach me, O LORD, to follow your decrees; then I will keep them to the end.  Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart.  Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.

John 14:15 (Jesus speaking), If you love me, you will obey what I command.

Instead of resenting and testing the boundaries God has set for our lives as believers, let’s embrace them!  He has our best interest at heart and is working for our eternal good – all the time.  Dwell in God’s Word.  Absorb it.  Let it become who you are.  We will continue to sin, sinful people that we are.  But, we can minimize the difficulties we create for ourselves when living according to the standard God has set in the Bible.  In doing so, we are free to fully enjoy the life in Christ has to offer such as trust, joy, peace, and contentment.  Psalm 91:1-2 says it best, He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the LORD, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’

The Maasai have their knowledge, strength, courage, walking sticks, and handmade spears to keep them safe.  All are very impressive.  Christians have the Word of God which is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12) –  the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God (Ephesians 6:17).  In it, He’s given us everything we need to make wise choices.  Choose wisely today.

<<Check out some of my safari photos in the Photo Gallery page!>>

Hope blooms

Nature has risen from its slumber.  Flowers are in bloom, trees burst with pride over their new leaves.  The air is fresh.  Crisp.  That’s what I love about spring – everything is new.  Our family enjoys watching the seasonal birds come to and fro – especially my husband.  He takes very good care of his “woodland friends,” as he calls them, by keeping the bird feeders we have scattered across our yard well-stocked with unique mixtures of seed, thistle, corn, etc.  One feeder, however, has a design flaw.  It cannot keep squirrels away.  Squirrels are a huge part of our naturescape, and they’ve spread the word among the squirrel kingdom about this feeder.

Any time of day, I can look out my window and see them scampering all over this feeder like a superhighway, hoarding the treats inside.  The little thieves.  They run the birds off, fight with each other, and make a mess in the process dropping both shells and whole seeds on the ground in my flowerbed.  Ug.  My dog loves these bushy-tailed critters because they are fun to chase…and anything on our property is fair game to this canine.

One morning, I went outside to check on things.  I noticed a small, bright green bud poking up through the ground near the feeder.  It didn’t look like the perennials I’ve planted before.  It looked like a weed.  Call me lazy, I did nothing about it.  We watched this little bud grow bigger over time, but still couldn’t tell what it was.  I kept telling myself, just pull it up, but I was usually already doing something else and didn’t want to bother with it.

It was a hot afternoon, in the sweltering sun, when this mysterious plant made its debut.  It was indeed, not a weed, rather – a sunflower!  How in the world?  In my flowerbed are black-eyed susans, daisies, and assorted flowers and foliage I planted by hand.  I did not plant any sunflowers.  It’s not the right place for them.  They need lots of space and tons of sun.  This little guy was wedged in between plants and only received partial sun.  Nonetheless, there stood, in my flowerbed, a sunflower – perfect in every way.  I laughed to myself when I realized what happened.  At some point, a whole sunflower kernel had been knocked off the bird feeder (by a menacing squirrel, no doubt), and it germinated and produced a spectacular specimen.  Wow.

I was amazed because I did nothing to it.  I didn’t water it, nurture it, or help it in any way, because I figured whatever was growing was simply a weed.  How wrong I was.  What was presumed a worthless wonder was a wonderful treasure.  A plan had taken root within the small, black seed and unveiled a resplendent result.

Life can be like that at times.  Messy.  Upheavaled.  Unplanned.  What we see as weeds, God sees as hidden potential.  The old expression, bloom where you’re planted, is a fine message.  But, I don’t know if it’s only the bloom that should receive an applause.  Like the sunflower seed that fell off of our bird feeder, our lives have more fight in them than we may think when God’s hand is upon them.  We weather the storms, survive the droughts, and struggle to find our place in the world.  Why?  Hope.  This little word packs a big punch.  Hope is hidden potential.  Hidden potential is God’s plan for us.  When the odds are stacked against us, we’re tired and weary, and we just don’t see how anything is possible, hope tells us that the impossible is possible.  Hope is not logical, reasonable, or conceivably attainable.  But, God sees such a different perspective.  He says…

Watch Me make a way when you don’t see one (Isaiah 30:21). I have plans for your life (Philippians 1:6).  Have hope (Psalm 62:5).  Even if you give up, I’m not going to.  Never (Isaiah 40:28-31).  I created you, love you, and will never leave you (Psalm 17: 8; Psalm 139:13-14).  I will plant you, water you, make you strong, and cheer you as you grow (Isaiah 61:3b).  I will delight in your blooms and sing over you (Zephaniah 3:17).  What the world meant for harm, I will work for your good (Romans 8:28).  Everyone else may have given up and left you, but I have not and will not (Matthew 28:20; John 14:18).  Seasons of life are continually changing (Ecc. 3:1-8) – you need only to trust Me.  Continue growing in Me, and wait for the bloom (Psalm 130:5). You are beautiful now in the growing season; and will continue to be when My light is revealed through you and others see the work of My hand and praise Me (Matthew 5:16).  Don’t be afraid to ask big of Me (Ephesians 3:20-21).  I am the Good Father and you can trust Me (Matthew 7:7-11).

When we feel like we’ve been discarded by life – forgotten and useless – where we are may be right where we need to be for a new beginning.  Waiting is hard.  We want results now, but we know good things are worth the wait.  Sarah Young writes in Jesus Calling:

Waiting on Me means directing your attention to Me in hopeful anticipation of what I will do…I have promised many blessings to those who wait on Me: renewed strength, living above one’s circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of My continual presence.

We must give God time and space to work in our lives.  When we can’t see what He is doing, we know He is working twice as hard beneath the surface to fulfill His purpose for us (Ps 33:11).  Grow.  Keep growing.  Keep growing.  Wait for the bloom – what a beautiful sight, like the sunflower, you will be.

Oh, as a follow-up, it was absolutely amazing to me when, as the sunflower continued to remind me every day of hope, God’s plan, and true beauty that can come ever so unexpectedly, one day I saw another bud appear.  Another sunflower?  I thought.  Nope.  Something even more of an enigma.  It grew to be, in fact, a 4 foot tall corn stalk!  Yes!  Right there, nestled between typical flowerbed foliage and the single, sparkling sunflower, was an actual stalk of corn – born out of a corn kernel discarded by the squirrels.  Just when we think there is nothing good that can come from an experience, God does the remarkable with our leftovers and creates a work of art.  When we doubt and say There is no way, God says, Just watch me.  Never underestimate His power or plan for your life.  You just never know when a miracle will pop up.

<<Check out the two bonus companion songs to this blog on my Tunes page!>>

Selah!

Happy Selah Day!

The word selah, used repeatedly in the book of Psalms, is a Hebrew word and has a few different meanings.  Among them, it is a musical reference meaning to pause, think, stop & listen.

I like to think of Sunday, the Sabbath, as my selah day.  My peeps and I try to keep Sundays as a day of rest.  It’s hard to resist the urge to be productive as a homeowner, mother, etc.; and as someone who has a difficult time sitting still in the first place because there is always a million things to do.  But, it is one of the 10 Commandments, so we try, though not always successful, to pause and have a day of rest.  It is a time to listen to what God is saying to us without the noise of everyday work drowning out His voice.  A time for contemplation.

As a result, on Sundays, my blog will also take a day of rest.  Writing, to me, is like an itch that never feels fully scratched.  I love to write and communiate with the world.  But, for Sundays, I will rest and rejuvenate.

Today, join me in simply being.  Not doing.  Going to church helps set us in the frame of mind for resting in Him.  Take a nap, walk the dog, play with your kids, enjoy a hobby, get crazy and take two naps! – whatever is truly restful to you.  We all know that our work isn’t going anywhere, so mind as well make it wait, if at all possible, on us for a change. 🙂

I’ll be back on Monday and hope you will be, too!

Have a great selah day,

Kristi

So long, control freak

The warmer weather we’ve been blessed with this spring is good for both the body and soul.  Joggers, runners, walkers, dog-walkers, kids playing – everyone seems to be overjoyed at the temperate climate.  We, too, just have to get out and savor it!  One thing our family loves to do is bike ride.  Long rides.  Hours-long rides.  I make sure sunscreen has been applied; we check our tires for air; stock up on water and protein bars; dig out the sunglasses; make minor adjustments to our bicycle helmets; make sure everyone is wearing good socks; double-check that everyone has gone to the bathroom; grab my cell phone and a few band-aids and then set off for an adventure once Mom’s checklist is complete.  I take my job as mother very seriously.  While our chicks are in our nest, they are our responsibility.  It’s my job as a mother.  The job I’ve wanted since I was a very little girl.

One particular day, we chose to take a long ride on the less-traveled, country road versus the congested city path.  This back road is quiet and pretty.  There wasn’t another person or dog or vehicle anywhere.  My kids and I took our time cruising along the tree-lined street.  We were all well-spaced apart, because we could be on this lonely road – with no threat of danger.

I noticed my youngest son had lagged a bit behind, so I stopped my bike under a large shade tree to wait for him.  Birds sang, the breeze blew the tall, golden grass as if it were bowing down to the sun.  It was such a picturesque moment.  I was about 10 yards ahead of my little guy, patiently waiting, when all of a sudden a huge, black Suburban came barreling around the corner.  It came up behind my son like a shark locked on a target in the ocean.  My heart raced and palms began to sweat, as I stood wide-eyed and helpless – just out of reach to help my son.  I held my breath and said to myself, not wanting to startle him on his small bike, “Steady, steady, just don’t fall.”  Right as the Suburban passed him, my son hit a hole in the road and fell into the street.  I mean, exactly as the enormous vehicle whizzed by him, he fell directly into that space of road – narrowly escaping the large, heavy tires.

I gasped!  Then screamed!  Thankfully, he was okay.  The Suburban just missed him.  I ran to him, in shock of what had just happened.  We were on a desolate street.  Birds were singing, and we were enjoying such a wonderful bike ride, when in a split second everything changed.  I saw my son’s young life flash before my eyes.  Where did this vehicle come from?  Why did my son have to hit a hole in the road at the precise moment the vehicle passed by him?  Everything happened so fast. I was clearly shaken – more than him.

I asked him repeatedly if he was okay – both body and mind.  He was fine.  I was not.  He was young enough to shake it off.  I wasn’t ready to move an inch.  Not only did I witness something terrifying as a person, but this was my son and it is my job to keep him safe.  I felt like I had failed.  Miserably.  Physically, there was nothing I could do.  I was just far enough away that no matter how fast I can run, I couldn’t have intervened in the nano-second long moment.  For the rest of the long bike ride, I was haunted by the image of seeing him fall into the street, narrowly missing the large, ominous vehicle.  I replayed it over and over trying to think of anything I could’ve done to prevent the situation.  Nothing.  There was nothing I could’ve done.  That brought me back to feeling like a failure.

If you ask my husband, I can be a little over the top when it comes to keeping my kids safe.  Although this was a freak accident, I kept thinking that it must have been – in some way – my fault, because I couldn’t stop it.  Deep feelings of anxiety and angst welled up in my heart, and I nearly had to get off my bike to breathe.  That’s when God reminded me that He is the One who controls all – not me.  He is God of time and space – I am not.  He sees all, knows all, and is in all.  My job title as a mother is simply manager.  His job title as God…is God.  The two are not equal.  This was my lesson for the day.  Bad things do happen, and boy do we have stories of ER visits from school injuries, hardware store injuries, sports injuries, etc., because we live in a fallen, sinful world.  No one can escape that.  And I never thought I was God, that would be ridiculous and insane, but I had bought the lie that I could be the end-all, need-meeter for my kids.  Clearly, I cannot.  That was never written in my mommy contract.  I suppose my maternal hormones kicked in when I first became a mom and I hand-wrote an addendum to my mommy contract because Mamma Bear just can’t help it.  What that lie did was create an enormous amount of pressure on my myself to be the perfect mother.  Not to have perfect kids, but I believed that I could always be there, every time, for them.  This bike ride proved I cannot.

What I can do is release my children into God’s care.  Try as I might to be their best mother, I will fail sometimes.  A lot.  And that’s okay.  Because more than being dependent on me for every need, I want them to be dependent on God.  He is the One that knew them before they were born, knew their names first, counts every hair on their head, understands their every thought, every dream, and watches their every move – both past, present and future.  He is their all-in-all.  He’s mine, too.  Much peace returns to my heart when I remember His omnipotent presence.  Below is an excerpt from the devotional, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.

“This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control…You can feel secure, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness of My continual Presence…The One who never leaves you is the same One who never changes…As you release more and more things into My care, remember that I never let go of your hand.”

Both Psalm 139: 1-17  and Psalm 121 roll around in my mind and speak Truth to my restless mother’s heart.  When I remember who God is, I am free to be who I was called to be – a mom, saved by grace, doing the best she can.  And, I have much peace knowing that God’s got my kids in His hands, even when they aren’t holding onto mine.

Someone lost a bet

On a cool, spring morning, I stood in the alcove of my church.  Palms sweating. Heart pounding.  Hands shaking.  I was about to walk down the aisle and get married.  Struggling for a deep breath, I was very sure about who and why I was getting married, but it was the what I was crumbling under.  What does our future look like?  How many kids will we have?  Will he always love me? I wish Mom were here.

Bruce and I first saw each other when I was 15 years old.  He was 19. We didn’t meet that night, but I knew, from the bottom of my soul, I was going to marry him. Two years passed without him darkening the door of our church again.  One day, he just showed up!  It was exactly one month after my mom died.  I was 16, almost 17.  He was 20 and in the Air Force.  My, oh my, how handsome he looked in uniform.  We became instant friends.  He tutored me in math (my worst subject ever!) and I graduated high school.  On my 18th birthday, he took me to a wonderful dinner and a show, then he drove us to our favorite spot on the beach. In a stokin’ hot blazer and dress pants, sweating profusely in the summer humidity, he knelt on one knee in the sand and proposed.

He and I were just beginning to find our paths in life.  I was a mess from my childhood unraveling like an old sweater – tragedy after crisis after  tragedy – and he was completing his military service.  We both knew our goal was to be college-bound, but that’s all we knew.  No money.  No help.  Just the two of us and God.

I was 19 on my wedding day.  He was 23. I mustered the courage, said a prayer under my breath, and walked the aisle to my awaiting groom.  People at the wedding took bets on how long they thought it would last.  I knew then what I still know now about the statistics for young marriages.  Statistics for a shipwreck like myself.  Statistics for not finishing college once married.  Yes, I knew all that.  But, God had this crazy plan that bucked the system.  He told me I was no longer a statistic.

Twenty-two years later, we celebrated our anniversary with our kids’ soccer and football games, a delicious Italian meal and a show.  Our three amazing kids also surprised us with breakfast in bed that morning with a pathetic, begging dog standing by – just waiting in hope for the “accidental drop” of scraps.  Over the last few days, I’ve reflected on the past 2+ decades and have come to a few conclusions:

First, someone lost a bet.  Our marriage is still rockin’ on.  With God, all things are possible.  I didn’t have to remain a victim, anymore than our marriage was destined to become one.  A fresh start with God means a fresh start.

Also, after being married this long, I feel I can have some opinions on married life.  I’m not 19 anymore, and Bruce and I have a whole lot of water under the bridge.  Sometimes the water has been calm and clear.  We could see straight through it to the treasures lying beneath the surface as we floated past.  Other times, the water has moved more swiftly with life’s current.  We’ve learned the value and benefit of remaining adaptable to the changing flow that can rock the boat.  Still other times, our boat has capsized in the ominous, raging river.  Life’s storms have been unpredictable, overwhelming and difficult enough to make us want to attempt to swim to shore.  I’m so glad we hung onto the overturned boat and rode it out.

That’s the focus of my recent thoughts.  I’ve been married to Bruce longer than my entire life before him.  We joke that we finished growing up together.  I love what someone once said, and if I could remember who it was I would quote them – you marry not one person, but many.  Meaning, Bruce and I have changed a lot over the years.  With those changes, we’ve had to adapt to a new normal…many times.  But it’s been well worth it.  Through frightening illness with the kids, car accidents, moving, injuries, surgeries, job loss, family deaths, and a myriad of things we’ve gone through together, we continue to reap the benefits of staying married – trust, comfort, and joy to name a few.

I look at Bruce today and know exactly what he’s thinking.  He can say the same about me.  I know so much about him, but because he is constantly changing, as I am as well, life is never boring.  He told me just the other day that he no longer prefers his beloved hazelnut coffee creamer (shocker!).  He also told me his entire vision of what He believes God has for our family is shifting.  Whoa.  Okay.  I am so glad that we haven’t give up on God – who promises to help us – nor on each other, because I like who Bruce is today and I like our marriage.  Whether things are smooth sailing or we are working hard to patch a leak in the boat, we’ve got each other to travel this crazy river of life.

There is no promise for a problem-free life, but God offers immeasurable joy when He is the captain of the boat.  Keep rowing.  Keep investing in each other.  If the boat tips over, hang on and ride out the storm.  Then climb back into the boat.

Paul said it best in Philippians 4:12-13, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.”

This sounds familiar.  Oh yes, Bruce and I took an oath under God when we got married – for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish ’till death due us part.  I am content, not because Bruce or I know how to beat the odds on our own, but because we have discovered that the power of Christ in our marriage can weather the storms and show us that marriage, indeed, is a beautiful journey when we stay in the boat and enjoy the ride together.

<<See the companion song to this blog on my Tunes page!>>