Category Archives: Faith

Sunday Driver!!

Hello!  I’ve missed writing the past two days.  They have been crazy busy, but very productive!  Today I am simply basking in the goodness of God. There are times in life when it’s hurried and harried.  That has been my normal for a while.  Today, not so.  Just relaxing and enjoying the scenery.  As I catch my breath, thought I’d write a thank-you list to God.  The Giver of all good things…

I am thankful today for:

* God’s attention to detail.  Everything really does matter to Him.

* A husband who is looking forward to dinner with me tonight – even after 22 years.

* My dear friend who gave us a dinner date tonight by wanting all of my kids for the evening!

* Children who love their mamma.  🙂

* Friends who have my back, and I theirs.

* Sleep. (It is far underrated!)

* Fun!  So enjoyed having a house full last night for a good time.

* Answered prayer.  Miracles still happen!

* Redemption – yes, of my spirit through Christ, but also in ways only God knows about and tends to…happened just yesterday.

* Hard work.  It feels good to sweat and flex my muscles.

* Laughter.  A good, long laugh cleanses the soul.

* The thousands of ways God has shown me today He loves me and knows my name.

His blessings are all around us.  Are we looking for them?

When I slow down, I notice more of His abundant blessings, because like barreling down the highway, when racing through life our peripheral is blurred.  But, the slower the car, the more clearly we see everything.  So glad to slow down and notice His presence, His peace and His care.  It’s a beautiful sight.  Today, I’m the Sunday driver who is fine to let other cars pass by, and maybe even honk at me.  I’ll let the wind mess up my hair, the sun shine on my face, and the radio drown out the honking.  Ha!

It’s All Gotta Go

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

This weekend, my husband and I had the most fabulous time.  They were the best 2 dates we’ve been on in a while.  What did we do?  I’m glad you asked. 🙂 We…drum roll please…gutted the garage!

Doesn’t that sound fascinating?  Seriously, I am thrilled.  What began as a small pile of stuff, who knows how long ago, grew to a vast sea in which one would nearly break his or her neck to maneuver around.  I’m not sure how this happened.  Well, okay, I know.  Little things here and there that we didn’t know what to do with, coupled with no time to deal with it, led up to a space that was downright frightening because we didn’t know what could be lurking in the shadows of this dark space.

It’s no coincidence that this was how we spent our time this weekend.  As I wrote in Friday’s post, Dear God, God is transitioning my family into a new phase of life.  With that comes change.  With change comes the need for adjustments in life – tangible and intangible.

In order to be available for whatever He has next for us, we have to be ready.  Tangibly, our affairs in the garage and attic are not in order.  Have you ever felt like you just couldn’t add one more thing to your already overloaded life?  That there wasn’t time or energy to give one more new thing?

That’s exactly where I am, and so to rectify this, I have to begin with ridding the old so we can welcome the new.  Yes, it was a marvelous feeling to finally sort through the mysterious room of secrets.  As adventuresome as it may sound, most of it wound up in the back of my husband’s car to go to the dump.  (We shared a good laugh, okay, maybe I laughed at his expense, that he has to drive this dump stuff around in his car for four days before being able to go to the dump.  It’s disgusting, and he has meetings with work that may involve others seeing said stuff.  Yikes!  His six-seater is currently a two-seater.  He is a really good sport!!  Major hubby points awarded.)

This dump stuff consists of broken things we thought we could fix someday and leftover parts we just knew we could repurpose.  We had to realize those things are simply not a part of our lives anymore – they had to go.

Speaking of, we had a filing cabinet that moved with us over 15 years ago.  For that long, we weren’t sure what was in it, but it was full.  Bruce finally drilled out the lock this weekend and we found a treasure-trove of history: my original high school driver’s ed. certificate, electric bills from the 90’s, cancelled checks from almost 20 years ago, even paperwork from my beloved grandfather who passed away in 1994 – crazy!  We made a fire to “celebrate” and burned it all.

And the trash!  What in the world?  How did that happen?  Strips of drywall, various cuts of spare wood, an irreparable radio, and other oddities added up to a monstrous pile.  In our defense, we do all of the home improvements we possibly can ourselves.  We’ve laid all kinds of flooring, built stuff, painted stuff, Bruce is handy with electrical and plumbing, we refurbish and refinish, so with all of that comes an array of tools and supplies that bulk up the garage.  At this point, however, much of what is left are good intentions run a muck.  The whole thing has driven my allergies crazy!

Once everything was cleared out, we put up some shelves and arranged only what is absolutely necessary in orderly fashion.  The bulk of the work was deciding (admitting) what we had to let go of in order to move forward.  After all, arms can only hold so much.

The same clean-out is happening in my intangible life.  My heart and mind.  God is making me go through some piles in my mind and eliminate all that has nothing to do with my life now and where He is leading me.  God is showing me what I have to let go of – unhealthy memories, inadequacies, failures, fears, even some people, because hearts and minds can only hold so much.

If I drew a picture of everything I’ve allowed to build up in my heart and mind, dare I say, it would have looked much like my garage.  Little things pushed to the back of my mind that I didn’t have time or energy to deal with at the moment grew to a large pile of mental clutter weighing down my heart.  Broken dreams and expectations, even failed relationships, that I thought could be repurposed.  Refurbished.  Repaired.  No.  God is doing a new work with new parts.  Not to say He won’t or can’t repair things in us, absolutely, but when He does the work, He makes them new.  No fractures filled with Super Glue; no hearts wrapped in duct tape; no caulking the gaping holes of failure in our history.  When God restores, He makes all things new.  We weren’t meant to look pieced together like Frankenstein.  We were created to be whole and healed.  Don’t you love that?

I may feel like Humpty Dumpty in my carnal nature, but God sees me a a seamless, beautiful masterpiece because it is His hands who are forming me, creating me in His image (Philippians 1:6; Ephesians 2:10).

Some things in my mind’s eye, however, were hard to part with because because they had been with me for so long.  But you know what?  Those things, like harsh criticism from others, mean words, guilt, self-defamation, reliving embarrassing moments I wish I could erase, self-deprecation…and did I mention guilt…serve no purpose in my life now.  Where is there room for that on my mental shelves?  No.  That stuff belongs in the dump.

I realized there is also stuff taking up precious space in my heart; boxes that hold past hurts, self-imposed suffering, pain purposefully inflicted by others, and oozing wounds of a bleeding heart caught in the crossfire of faith and sin.

To our horror, we discovered a rodent of some kind had found our bag of birdseed and had been squirreling away in pockets all over the hidden parts of our garage.  Gross!  We found sunflower seed shells in small piles in the most unexpected places.  Likewise, when we don’t address the unhealthy stuff that builds up in our minds and hearts, we give the enemy a foothold – a bread crumb trail to follow to our most inner thoughts and feelings.  He will take full advantage of this and will invade space in our thoughts that was never supposed to be his (1 Peter 5:8-9).  Eradicate the bread crumb trail.  Remember, we’re not in this alone.  God isn’t afraid to go ahead of us into the dark corners of our hearts.  He shines His glory on them to unearth our original beauty and function and gives us courage and strength to face what we’ve been avoiding.

Indeed, my heart and mind did resemble my garage.  But, today is a new day and God has set my feet on a new path.  However, unlike the hours and hours of labor Bruce and I spent sorting, lifting and loading, God simply says of my heart, Give Me your hurt and exhaustion.  I will take it from you (Matthew 11:28).  I will cast your sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).  With the suffering in your life, give Me your pain.  I am strong enough to carry it – you are not (Hebrews 4:14-15).  Trust Me to know what stays and what goes (Proverbs 3:5-6).

A new day.  A new way of thinking.  A new person emerging.  Healthy.  Healed.  Whole.  Some truths to remember…

Admonishment builds up. Unhealthy criticism breaks down.  Colossians 3:16-17; Hebrews 3:13

God lovingly disciplines those He loves.  We are not called to beat ourselves up.  Proverbs 3:11-12

Think about praiseworthy things.  Don’t dwell on bad memories or things we can’t control.  Philippians 4:8

Give God our pain and brokenness.  In return, He gives us comfort, gladness and dancing. Isaiah 61:1-3

Grow in wisdom, and don’t dwell on past ignorance. Proverbs 2:1-11

Give God our anxiety.  He wants us to rest in His peace.  Philippians 4:6-7

Think I’ll go stand in my garage today and take in the sights.  While I’m there, I’ll thank God for doing the same work in my heart.  He is so good.

That’s Not Me This Time

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.  Psalm 62:5

Yeah!  It’s Sunday!  So happy to rest today.  Right now, there are birds outside my window jockeying for the best position on the bird feeder.  They are fluttering, singing and racing to see who gets what.  I say, Go for it.  I’m too tired to be that today in my life.

What a week.  A good week, but an exhausting one.  Thanking God for the Sabbath.

Hope to see you back here tomorrow for more real…deep…stuff!

Enjoy this selah day,

Kristi

Dear God

Good morning God,

Wow.  It’s today.  The day.  A day that marks the end of a season – an era.  A time in which I’ve wanted nothing but to be obedient to You, but often wondered if I was doing a good job.  Wondering if I was measuring that “good job” against what the world says is good, or what You say.

I accepted this task with curiosity and a sense of adventure, and what an adventure it has been!  There were more precious memories made than I could have ever imagined.  I felt sky-highs and valley-lows.  There were times when I felt so capable and courageous, and other times I couldn’t find one thing right I did in the entire day.

You were there for all of it.  The challenging, the rewarding, the mundane and the wild ride these last years have been.  I have felt much angst and worry over the responsibilities I was given, but because You constantly reminded me that You were with me, I could pass the overwhelming emotions on to You so I could concentrate on the task at hand.  Thank You for having arms big enough to carry every single one of my concerns and fears.

The journey You have led me on has produced a different person within myself.  I have never felt more loved and accepted, but I have never been more aware of the weaknesses in me.  You blended both together to create someone who believes a little more that You do love me just as I am, and that You want to flesh out what is not of You, so that Your light can shine all the brighter.

There have been many laughs, some tears, and countless memories made.  I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything in the world.  Each moment – a step closer to You.  This year, in particular, stretched me farther than I thought I could without breaking.  However, I broke and am broken.  Losing my dad in the midst of the work You set before me, and my husband’s surgery, my mother-in-law’s cancer and my back injury and the necessary work on our home in the midst of the chaos, You heard every doubt I had about doing a good job with the task You gave me.  I came to the end of myself emotionally every single day, but not once did You leave me feeling alone.

You moved heaven and earth to show me, in small and large ways, that You see, You hear, You know – and You know how to meet the need.  Through the loving, kind words and deeds of others, You whispered to me, This is from Me, too.

The chapter on this season is closing.  I find myself wondering what is next?  I want to know, but then again, I am a little afraid to ask.  Ignorance is bliss, right?  Perhaps I won’t ask You, and find peace in You revealing it in Your time.

I will miss these days.  Terribly.  I will always doubt how well I did my job, but I will never doubt how well You did Yours.

I trust that Your checklist is complete, though mine isn’t.    But then again, mine will never be – perfectionist that I am.  You are Grace.  Mercy.  Love.  Those three truths about You cover what I feel are my failures.

I have learned so much about You, life and Your plan over the last three years.  Ephesians 3:17-19 have truly come to life in my life on this journey –

…And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. 

I have learned that Your will really does precede mine, even when I push for what I want.  You work for our best interest, and sometimes that required trust to have faith in Your plan.  You taught me the depth of John 3:30 –

He must become greater; I must become less.

You even reiterated a Scripture many of us would like to skip over, Philippians 2:14 –

Do everything without complaining or arguing,

You kept Your promise in James 1:5 –

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 

I celebrate You, God, and that we made it to the finish line – together.  You have been my Coach, Manager, and Cheerleader.  The work You have done is amazing.  I sit and marvel at the beautiful finish You have given me the privilege to see.

I choose to rest in knowing that You will provide for me on the days when I want to run back to this race instead of the next one that waits for me.  When I stop and think about how much I will miss parts of this journey, my heart swells and a huge lump forms in my throat.  I think to myself, I can’t take the next step.  I want things to stay just as they are.  But they can’t because we are different people now and thus, You have a different race for us to run.

You are moving on to the next venture, and I must willingly pack up my memories, wrap them with tender heartstrings, and carry them as I follow You.

I choose to stay obedient to You, Lord.  It’s not easy sometimes, because my heart gets in the way.  I have such a hard time of letting go what I hold so dear, but You say to hold out an empty hand in expectancy of what next You will bring.  I guess it’s hard for me because moments like this remind me just how short life is and how fast it moves.

But then again, with that I am also reminded that this life is not all there is.  There is another place, another home, another life waiting for me.  One that will never end.  Thank You.

So, God, here we are.  A day of celebration of what You have done – and what we have done together.  Thank You for these years, months, days and moments.  Thank You for letting me keep the memories of them as I pack up what is no longer needed, to make room for what You are bringing next in this amazing race.

I choose to trust You.  You know the ways in which I need to feel Your presence most, and You are faithful.  Psalm 117:1-2 tells me so –

Praise the Lord, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples.  For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord.

Praise You, I will.  Gladly.  You have given me three of the best years of my life!  Not without hardship, heartache and a lot of hard work, but full of Your presence, joy, peace and faithfulness.  You are so good.

I give You this day of celebration.  You gave today to me, and I offer it back to You as an offering of these years.  May Your love shine bright, Your peace overflow and the magnificence of Your resplendent goodness be the energy of every moment, word and deed.

Precious Lord, the book of Jude says best what my heart feels, verses 24 & 25.  Thank You…for everything.

To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.  

Psalm 139…Amish-Country Style

When I visited the Amish country, I had no idea I would ever write a blog.  I feel humbled and privileged that God had in mind to put some of my photos from this trip to Scripture and post them here.  Life really is a journey, and with Him it is never boring.

Psalm 139 has been my life Scripture.  This passage has shared mountain-top highs with me and pulled my soul out of the pit.  It is a joy to offer a visual perspective of David’s incredible, tender heart in a unique way. I hope it speaks to you, too.

Psalm 139: 1-18, 23-24

Oh LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit

and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out

and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in – behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake, I am still with you.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Help!

photo credit Ana @ http://paintingmum.blogspot.com/

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

We were enjoying a beautiful holiday weekend, until the moment my husband frantically said, Call 911.  Those are two words I hoped to never hear.  We were having a marvelous time, but in a split second a freak accident happened that couldn’t be recreated if one tried, and it left my husband unable to breathe.

I’ve never in all my life heard anyone gasp for breath like he did.  His bare chest heaving, eyes bulged and sheer panic on his face.  I thought perhaps he was choking, so I almost began the Heimlich maneuver, but he said, No.  Choking wasn’t the problem. That’s when he told me to call 911.

I raced into the house, and while running, I shouted to the kids, Pray!  I grabbed the phone, ran back outside to him and dialed.

The last time my husband scared me half to death was a couple of years ago.  He was in the front yard and I was in the back yard.  Evidently, he got into a tussle with a large branch and his electric chainsaw, and of the three of them, the chainsaw won.  I was unaware of anything happening, until the kids ran to me saying, Daddy’s on the ground bleeding in the head from the chainsaw!   Never have I run so fast!  I had no idea what to expect as a sprinted through the house.

I found him sitting on the ground, thankfully totally alert and all appendages accounted for – including his head still attached to his neck.  I found the gash in his scalp, and although he argued with me that he’d be fine, he couldn’t see the top of his head.  An hour after an urgent care trip, he donned four staples.  This was a thankful ending to what could have been a horrific outcome.  Praise God.

Yesterday was different because there was nothing at all I could do for him.  He had swam underwater the length of the pool, came up to exit without any air left in him, but water spontaneously splashed into his throat causing it to reflexively close to prevent water from traveling to his lungs.  I can still hear, in my mind’s ear, the gasping and heaving.

Being sure he’d black out, he sat down in a chair while I dialed 911 – and prayed hard.  Just as the operator asked what I needed, Bruce took a small breath.  Then another small breath.  Slowly.  She repeated her questions to me, but I was more focused on my husband.  He gave me a nod that he was going to be okay.  I told her, Thank you anyway. I think he’ll be fine.  She replied, Just call us back if you need us.

That quick.  Life can change that fast – in one single breath.  In the moments of his crisis, so many things raced through my mind.  Our entire 22 years flashed fast forward.  The kids stood frozen, watching wide-eyed.  We are eternally grateful that God spared Bruce’s life, and he did not suffer any side effects other than a stubborn tickle in his throat even today.  The body is a powerful machine, a strong muscle.  One he couldn’t control for those moments.  And, I couldn’t help.  We both felt powerless.

However, one thing we can always do is pray – and there is immeasurable power in the name of Jesus.  Pray we did.  Bold, audacious prayers claiming Bruce’s throat to cooperate and open up.

Is any one of you in trouble?  He should pray…James 5:13

I am grateful, happy and relieved that all is well.  Bruce is well.  It reminds me of a few Scriptures I’d like to share if you, too, are thankful for God’s sparing and protection in your life…

You hem me in – behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Psalm 139:5

I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. Psalm 73:23

This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. Psalm 34:6

Remembering

Thinking today about all of the brave men and women who sacrificed for our freedom.  When I stopped and thought about it, there are more military men, and one woman, in my family than I even realized.

A special thanks to my: grandfather, father, father-in-law, husband, uncle, uncle on my husband’s side, half brother, cousin on my husband’s side, step uncle, 2 step nephews, a dear family friend who is like family to us and all of our friends serving stateside and abroad.

THANK YOU to everyone who embraced Jesus’ words in John 15:12-13, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

May today be a day to remember those who lost their loved ones in service to our country, prayer for the family and friends who miss them so much, and a day of gratitude for those we still have in our lives to hold dear.

I took these photos when we visited Arlington Cemetery.  It was humbling, and a bit overwhelming, to stand in a place surrounded by countless names of those who loved their country so much they would die for it.  One of my children’s teachers is still in the service.  Every morning, when students stand to say the Pledge of Allegiance, one student refuses to stand.  This teacher told my child’s class (a different class than this student is in) that at a moment’s notice, he is ready to literally drop everything and serve his country – so he can defend the student’s right to abstain from the Pledge.  Wow.  There is tremendous emotion in his words.

In a day of reflection, may God’s sovereignty, wisdom, mercy, peace and grace be upon us today and always.

Selahhh Day!

Photo posted by Michael Jablonski

Happy Memorial Day weekend!  This weekend we remember those in the military who gave their lives to protect ours.  Men and women gave up their personal safety to let others keep theirs.  They are fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives and friends. They are our heroes.

Always, on the Sabbath, let us remember Jesus Christ who gave His life so we would have eternal life.  Through Him, all things are possible.  Today, and every day, we remember His ultimate sacrifice for you and me.

Have a restful day.  Lord willing, I’ll be back tomorrow with more real…deep…stuff!

Kristi

Psalm 23…Kenyan Style

Like visiting the home where we grew up, or seeing an old friend, sometimes reading classic Scripture hits the spot.  It’s familiar – like favorite coffee, summer rain or old slippers.  Through the memories of all of the times I’ve heard or read the 23rd Psalm, I am brought to a place of peace, tranquility and rejuvenation.  Today, I’ve put this Scripture to our Kenya photos so it can be enjoyed from a visual perspective.  Have a wonderful day!

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me,

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

A Little Gift for You and Me

Well, okay.  This morning began with 4 separate problems, one of which could turn out to be expensive seeing as the kids’ goo play stuff was accidentally put into a food storage container, which was accidentally ran through the dishwasher, and now said goo stuff is all over the dishes and hopefully won’t gum up our plumbing lines.  No Internet, no phone service.  Someone used the toaster oven and didn’t see special plastic ware temporarily placed on top of it, thus the plastic ware I needed melted.  I could go on, but why bore you with details!

I am grateful for the big stuff like my husband’s flight landed safely last night, and we are all in good health, but boy howdy the small stuff in life deflates me!

Once upon a time, I went to my doctor because I kept getting a tingling sensation in my hands.  Her solution was simple…breathe.  I guess when life gets its panties in a wad, I forget to breathe properly.  Later, this little gem was discovered in a small store and knew it was a perfect reminder!

Looking down this morning beside my computer, staring glassy-eyed at the “no Internet access” window, I saw this little reminder below.  I’m using it today and am gifting it’s message to you as well, in case you’ve got a gooey dishwasher, or a banged up bumper from being rear-ended, or a cracked windshield from a dump truck’s loose rocks, or a mysteriously defrosting refrigerator, or anything else we share in common.

Need it today?  Feel free to use it. 🙂

I’m making my order a combo and bundling this message to breathe with today’s devotion from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. (Spoken from Jesus’ perspective) “Approach each day with desire to find Me…There are hidden treasures strategically placed along the way…some treasures are trials…others are blessings that reveal My Presence…I have not abandoned this sin-wracked world; I am still richly present in it.  Search…and you will find Me along the way.”

Today doesn’t have to be a total loss just because of a rocky start.  Neither does my attitude.  March on,we will, with Philippians 4:13 as our battle cry – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Ready?  Let’s go!